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Book.. If)/ 5 C 5 
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COEXRSGHT DEPOSIT. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 



ALICE DUER MILLER AND ROBERT MILTON 




SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th Sw, New York 



BILLETED. 

A comedy in 3 acts, by F. Tennison Jesse and H. Harwood. 4 
males, S females. One easy interior seen \ A charmingr comedy, 
constructed with urcommon skill, and abounds with clever lines. 
Margaret Anglin's b! r success. Amateurs will find this comedy easy 
to produce and popuiar with all audiences. ^ Price, 60 Cents. 

NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. 

A comedy in 3 acts. By James Montgomery. 5 males, 6 females. 
Costumes, modern. Two interior scenes. Plays 254 hours. 

Is it possible to tell the absolute truth — even for twenty-four hours? 
It is— at least Bob Bennett, the hero of "Nothing But the Truth," 
accomplished the feat. The bet he made with his business partners, 
and the trouble he got into — with his partners, his friends, and his 
fiancee — this is the subject of William Collier's tremendous comedy 
hit. "Nothing But the Truth" can be whole-heartedly recommended " 
as one of the most sprightly, amusing and popular comedies that this 
country can boast. Price, 60 Cents. 

IN WALKED JIMMY. 

A comedy in 4 acts, by Minnie Z, Jaffa. 10 males, ? females (al- 
though any number of males and females may be used as clerks, 
etc.). Two interior scenes. Costumes, modern. Plays 2^4 hours 
The thing into which Jimmy walked was a broken-down shoe factory, 
when the clerks had all been fired, and when the proprietor was in 
serious contemplation of suicide. 

Jimmy, nothmg else but plain Jimmy, would have been a mysterious 
figure had it not been for his matter-of-fact manner, his smile and 
his everlasting humanness. He put the shoe business on its feet, won 
the heart of the girl clerk, saved her erring brother from jail, escaped 
that place as a permanent boarding house himself, and foiled the 
villain. 

Clean, wholesome comedy with just a touch of human nature, just 
a dash of excitement and more than a little bit of true philosophy 
make "In Walked Jimmy" one cf the most delightful of plays. 
Jimmy is full cf the religion of life^ the religion of happiness and 
the religion of helpfulness, and he so permeates the atmosphere with 
his "religion" that everyone is happy. The spirit of optimism, goo<i 
cheer, and hearty laughter dominates the play. There is not a dull 
moment in any of the four acts. We strongly recommend it. 

FricCi 60 Cents. 

MARTHA BY-THE-DAY. 

An optimistic comedy in three acts, by Julie M. Lippmann, author 
of the "Martha" stories. 5 males, 5 females. Three interior scenes. 
Costumes modern. Plays 2J/^ hours. 

It is altogether a gentle thing, this play. It is full of quaint hu- 
mor, old-fashioned, homely sentiment, the kind that people who scf 
the play will recall and chuckle over to-morrow and the next day. 

Miss Lippmann has herself adapted her very successful book for 
stage service, and in doing this has selected from her novel the most 
telling incidents, infectious comedy and homely sentiment for the 
play, and the result is thoroughly delightful. Price, 60 Cents. 

(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 
SAMURL FRBNCn, 28-30 West 38th Street. New York City 

Niw and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Free on Request 



/ 



The Charm School i^^b 



A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS 



BY 

ALICE DUER MILLER 
AND '■ 
ROBERT MILTON 

Copyright, 1919, by Alice Duer Miller and 
Robert Milton 

Copyright, 1922, by Samuel French 

All Rights Reserved 

CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby- 
warned that 'THE CHARM SCHOOL," being 
fully protected under the copyright laws of the 
United States, Great Britain and Canada, is sub- 
ject to a royalty, and any one presenting the play 
without the consent of the owners or their au- 
thorized agents will be liable to the penalties by 
law provided. Applications for the amateur act- 
ing rights must be made to Samuel French, 
28-30 West 38th St., New York. Applications 
for the professional acting rights must be made 
to Julia R. Tutwiler, 471 Park Avenue, New 
York. 



New York j London 

SAMUEL FRENCH SAMUEL FRENCH. Ltd. 

(Incorporated 1898) 

Publisher ^^ Southampton Street 

28-30 West 38th Street I STRAND 






\'' 



\ 



Especial notice should be taken that the possession 
of this book without a valid contract for production 
first having been obtained from the publisher confers 
no right or license to professionals or amateurs to 
produce the play publicly or in private for gain or 
charity. 

In its present form this play is dedicated to the 
reading public only, and no performance, representa- 
tion, production, recitation, or public reading may be 
given except by special arrangement with Samuel 
French, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York. Attention 
is called to the penalty provided by law for any in- 
fringement of the author's rights, as follows: 

"Section 4966: — Any person publicly performing 
or representing any dramatic or musical composition 
for which copyright has been obtained, without the 
consent of the proprietor of said dramatic or musical 
composition, or his heirs and assigns, shall be liable for 
damages thereof, such damages, in all cases to be 
assessed at such sum, not less than one hundred dollars 
for the first and fifty dollars for every subsequent per- 
formance, as to the court shall appear to be just. If 
the unlaw^ful performance and representation be wilful 
and for profi, such person or persons shall be guilty of 
a misdemeanor, and upon conviction shall be impris- 
oned for a period not exceeding one year.*' — U. S. 
Revised Statutes: Title 60, Chap. 3. 



©CI.D 6 590 



APR 21 1922 



The following is a copy of the play-bill of the first 
performance of "THE CHARM SCHOOL" at the 
New Bijou Theatre, New York City, beginning 
Monday evening, August 2, 1920. 

MR. ROBERT MILTON 

PRESENTS 

"THE CHARM SCHOOL" 

A COMEDY 

BY 

ALICE DUER MILLER and ROBERT MILTON 

With a Wee Bit of Music by Jerome Kern 

To Begin With 

AustinXBevans Mr. Sam Hardy - ««<^. 

An automobile salesman with IDEAS, which 

David Mackenzie Mr. Ivan Simpson 

A law student, considers unpractical, though 

George Boyd Mr. James Gleason 

An expert accountant, is willing to co-operate 
and 50 are 

Jim Simpkins Mr. Neil Martin 

and 

Tim Simpkins Mr. Morgan Farley 

Who toil not and have never seriously consid- 
ered spinning. 

Homer Johns Mr. Rapley Holmes 

is the guardian of 

Elise Benedotti Miss Marie Carrill 

the president of the senior class at a school 
presided over by 

Miss Hays Miss Margaret Dale 

who is loved and feared by all who know her, 
including the secretary, 

3 



4 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

,>, (■,. ^/ ... 

4^-Miss Curtis Miss Minnie Diipree 

who is always trying to think well of the senior 
class, consisting of 

_ Sally Boyd Miss Blyth Daly 

who is George^s sister, and 

Muriel Doughty Miss Florence McGuire 

Ethel Spelvin Miss Carolyn Arnold 

Alix Mercier Miss Theodora Larocque 

! ] . Lillian Stafford Miss Frances McLaughlin 

^ . Madge Kent Miss Mary Mead 

' CXv»^^ • Charlotte Gray Miss Camilla Lyon 

V^^t^Ht t^^44A ^^^ it is hardly worth while to mention a 
O junior 

Dotsie Miss Constance McLaughlin 

who is always in the way. 



ACT I. — Evening:. The boys' room on the top floor of 
an old-fashioned New York house. 

ACT II.— The Main Hail of the School. 

Scene 1 — Noon. 

Scene 2 — About two weeks later. 

Between Scenes 1 and 2 the curtain will be lowered 
about two minutes to indicate passing time. 

ACT III. — Scene 1 — Midnight on the Road. 
Scene 2 — The next morning. 






g n o p n r- 
o His S:i:m 







S^ ^ g tp 5 ;: ^cf- u> 

S o o 



?0 tn o r' 









LONDON PRODUCTION 



THE COMEDY THEATRE 

(Licensed by the Lord Chamberlain) 

PAl^TON STREET, HAYMABKET (Nearest Ststlsn, Piccadilly Tube) 

Lessee - - - - - ARTHUR CHUDLEIGH 



PAUL MURRAY and T. F. DAWE, by arrangement with 
WILLIAM EDELSTEN 

present 

THE CHARM SCHOOL 

A Comedy by Alice Duer Miller and Robert Milton 
Based on the Story by Alice Duer Miller 



Peter Bevans 
David Mackenzie 
George Boyd 



Jim Bradbury 

and 
Tim Bradbury 

Homer Johns 
Elise Challoner 

Miss Hayes 



Miss Curtis 



Sally Boyd 

Ethel " 

Alix 

Dennett 

Mary , 

Muriel 

Margaret 

Dorothy 

Lilian 

Celia 

Edna 



CAST 

a Motor Dealer with ideas, 

which 

a Law Student considers 

unpractical, though 

an Expert Accountant, is 

willing to co-operate and 

so are 

who toil not and have never 

seriously considered 

spinning. 

is the guardian of 

the head of the senior class 

at a school presided over by 

who is loved and feared by 

all ivho know her — 

including the Secretary — 

who is always trying to 

think vjell of the senior 

class, consisting of 

who is George's sister 



^ 



The 

Young 

Ladies 

of 

the 

School 



Mr. Owen Nares 
Mr. Dayid Miller 

Mr. Kenneth Kent 

Mr. Hugh Dempster 
Mr. Ronald HamIvIoitd 

Mr. FEWLASS LLEVi'ELLYN 

Miss Meggie Albanesi 
By permission of Reandean\ 
Miss IjENA Halliday 

Miss Sydney Fairbrothes 



Miss Margery Mbadov/s 
Miss Maureen Dillon 
Miss Ethel Fisher 
Miss Donnett Paynter 
Miss Mary Ewin 
Miss Kathleen Cope 
Miss Margaret Elston 
Miss Dorothy Elston 
Miss Lalla Cragg 
Miss Celia Slson 
Miss Edna Gordon 



CHARACTERS 

To Begin With 

Austin Bevans, 

An automobile salesman with IDEAS, which 
David Mackenzie, 

A law student, considers unpractical, though 
George Boyd, 

An expert accountant, is willing to co-operate, 
and also 
Jim Simpkins 

and 
Tim Simpkins, 

Who toil not and have never seriously consid* 
ered spinning. 
Homer Johns is the guardian of 
Elise Benedotti, 

The President of the senior class at a school 
presided over by 
Miss Hays, 

Who is loved and feared by all who know her, 
including her secretary. 
Miss Curtis, 

Who is always trying to think well of the senior 
class, consisting of 
Sally Boyd, who is George's sister, and 
Muriel Doughty, 
Ethel Spelvin, 
Alix Mercier, 
Lillian Stafford, 
Madge Kent. 

It is hardly^ worth while to mention a junior, 
DoTSiE, who is always in the way. 

5 



SYNOPSIS OF SCENES 



ACT I: Evening. The boy's room on the top floor. 
of an old-fashioned New York house. 

ACT II : The Main Hall of the School. 

SCENE I: Noon. Scene H: About two weeks 

later. 

Between scenes one and two the curtain will be 

lowered two minutes to indicate passing time. 

* ACT III, SCENE I: Midnight, on the road. 
SCENE II : The next morning at the school. 



* Note.— Scene I of Act III may be omitted, as the play 
is complete v/ithout it. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 



ACT I 

Scene : Shabby sitting room on top floor of an old- 
fashioned New York house, turned into flats. 
The doors and windows are high and the tops 
rounded. The walls are painted a light tan 
color. On l., about two feet above the return, 
is the door — swings outward. General entrance 
from outside. An oblique piece joins the door 
piece to a flat running on stage, and contains 
large double doors that saving up stage intO' the 
kitchen. 

A blank piece joins the on-stage edge of the 
above flat, runs up stage. The back flat proper 
joins the up stage edge of this piece and runs 
across to R. side. There are two double windows 
in the back flat. On R. joining the return a blank 
piece runs upstage straight, joins a fireplace 
piece, set obliquely, and a blank piece joins this 
to the back flat. 

A narrow piece about thirty inches deep runs 
from up-stage edge of fireplace straight across 
to the small flat piece at l.c. containing the 
double doors to the kitchen, giving an effect of 
an altered room or alcove. Two posts support 
them, having the effect of supporting the parti- 
tion of narrow piece. 

Back of the double doors is the kitchen, with 
the dumb-waiter, in the backing, which swings 
dozvn stage and on. The practical dumb-waiter 
is directly back of the double door. 

9 



lo THE CHARM SCHOOL 

A drop representing house-tops hacks the 
windows. Interior hacking for door L. Gen- 
eral entrance. Fireplace hacking. Ceilings. 

(Note. — A simplified stage setting for this act will 
be found at the back of the play.) 

Time : Late afternoon of a day in Spring. 

Discovered : David is sitting on the big easy chair, 
smoking his pipe and reading law. As he reads 
clouds of smoke rise and he gets hotter and 
hotter, finally he lays the hook on the table, 
takes off a green eye-shade he has been tvear- 
ing, rubs his hands across his forehead and 
starts to take off his coat. A buzzer sounds. 
He goes to kitchen door and opening it, reveals 
dumb-waiter. 

David. (Down waiter) Aye 

Voice (Washenvoman's voice) Wash coming up. 

David. Let her come. (The squeaking of the 
waiter is heard.) That's good ! (He lifts a clothes- 
basket with a check cover from the dumb-waiter.) 
Take her away. 

(Deposits it l. of chair c. He starts back toward 
his easy chair, thinks of the ice in the refrigera- 
tor, goes into kitchen and takes out a couple of 
small pieces — smaller than his fist — puts them 
in a brown howl and starts back toward his 
chair. When c, takes a piece out of the bowl 
and rubs it across his forehead, goes to easy 
chair, puts bowl and ice in front of a small elec- 
tric fan there. Picks up a piece of newspaper 
on the floor, wipes his hands on it, drops it, sees 
the ice is too low in the bowl for the fan to do 
any good, puts bowl on floor, picks up the paper 



THE CHARM SCHOOL ii 

again, makes a ball of it and puts it under the 
ice so as to raise it above the edge of the howl. 
Sits down, turns on switch of fan, picks up hook 
and starts to read again-. Fidgets imth the fan 
to get the most breeze, finally settles hack and 
commences to read. Jim is heard outside 
whistling one of the latest dancing tunes. He 
enters l. — ''General Entrance/' — Slants door. 
David looks tip. Jim whistles louder, goes to 
bureau, leaves his hat on upper end, turns with 
a dancing step to the bench l. of table c, 
straddles it. slides along, flops down, stretches 
out hands under his head — feet on lower end 
of table.) 

Jim. Gee, it's great to get home, when the day's 
work is over. 

David. Work ! 

Jim. David, you lazy creature. I believe you 
haven't done a thing but sit there all day feeding that 
great, greedy mind of yours. You ought to be 
ashamed. 

David. (A little startled by this attack) And 
what have you been doing? 

Jim. We've been keeping up our physical morale, 
David ; we've been dancing for four solid hours. 

(The 'phone on bureau rings. David turns off his 
fan, rises and goes to it. Jim commences to 
whistle again, keeping time with his foot, which 
is on the table.) 

David. (To Jim to stop his whistling) Shss-s! 
(Jim stops. In 'phone) Yep? I said hullo — No, 
Mr. Bevans has not come in yet. . . Oh, any time 
now. — Very well, hold the wire — I said hold the 
wire. (To Jiu) Have you got a pencil? (Takes 
it from JiM^ finds a piece of paper on bureau) 



:w THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Forge ahead — ^what's your message? Call Home? 
Homer ? Oh ! Aye, Homer, like the poet — ^the poet, 
the poet, the poet — Homer Johns, at Plaza 2097. 
Aye, I will. (Angrily) I can't tell him before he 
comes in, can I? (Hangs up the receiver.) 

Jim. Who was it, David? 

David. A Mr. Johns, who wants Austin to call 
him up. (He lays the paper on u.l. of t.c. j A very 
impatient man. (Jim picks up the paper to read it. 
David grabs it away from him, and puts it under a 
law book on lower r. of the table.) He should not 
shout so through the telephone. (He turns to easy 
chair, putting the pencil in his pocket. Jim whistles 
for it. David gives it to him. David sits in easy 
chair.) I suppose you haven't found a job? 

Jim. No, but maybe it's because we haven't 
looked for one. 

David. Aye, man, why don't you look for one? 

Jim. Because, Dave, if we looked for it we might 
find it 

David. Aye, you might- 



JiM. And if we found it we might have to take it. 
(Rises, goes to piano, takes cushion from, stool, 
comes down c.) And if we took it we might have 
to do a little work. (Sees wash basket on floor.) 
And speaking of work, there's your wash not put 
away yet. Oh, David, David,— hov/ do you ever 
expect to succeed in the world if you shirk your 
duties like that? 

David. (Earnestly) It isn't my week on the 
wash, James — I'm on the door and the telephone. 
(TiM enters d.l. whistling same tune.) George is 
on the wash, aye, and you and Tim — fTiM, 
closing door, stops whistling, looks at DavidJ — 
ought to be getting dinner. 

Tim. What's that! 

Jim. (Throws cushion on bench L.) Oh, gee! 
it's our night to get dinner. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 13 

Tim. Is it? 

Jim. Look in the ice-box, and see what there is, 
will you? 

(Tim exits to kitchen, whistling.) 

David. Shsss 

(Jim goes to kitchen door, looks in, then turns to 
David, drazving the door to after him.) 

Jim. Oh, Dave 1 What do you say to dining out 
to-night ? 

David. Thaf s what you always say the night it's 
your turn to work, 

Jim. (Crossing f. to r. of c) Got any money, 
Dave ? 

David. Any what? 

Jim. Any money. 

David. Don't be absurd. 

(Jim goes up r. c. b.) 

Tim. (Heard in the ice-box — sing-song) There's 
nothing but five loin chops and half a lemon pie. 

Jim. Got any money, Tim? 

Tim. (Enters, goes to l. of t. c) Any what? 

Jim. (a. t, c.) Any money. 

Tim. You will have your little joke, v/on't you? 
(Exits to kitchen.) 

Jim. Couldn't we borrow something from some- 
one? Our allowance is due the day after to-mor- 
row. 

David. (Is sitting in easy chair) There's a letter 
there from your father. 

Jim. (Rtishing to letter box) A letter from 
Father ! Good ! 



14 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Tim. (Enters to l. of JiMJ A letter from 
Father! Good old Pop! 

Jim. Maybe he sent it a day or two ahead ! 

David. Maybe ! 

Jim. (Opens letter. Looks for check, and his 
face changes) Gee ! It looks as if we'd have to go 
back to Poughkeepsie. 

Tim. (Picks up envelope on floor to make sure 
nothing is in it) To Poughkeepsie. . . . That's 
pretty rough. 

David. What's the matter? 

Jim. Our dear, dear parent has stopped our al- 
lowance. . . . 

David. What! 

Jim. (Xing a. to R. of t. c, reads) "Until you 
obtain a position, or until I see some evidence that 
you are seriously looking for one." Well, hasn't he 
a suspicious nature. . . . (Sits b. r. of t. c.j 

Tim. (Foot on chair at door. Sits chair.) Af- 
ter all the trouble I've taken with that man's edu- 
cation. (Bell rings off l. i. e. j 

David. Answer that door, Tim. 

Tim. (Rising) It's your day on the door, Dave. 
(Exits to kitchen.) 

(David swell of fan — Shsss — Jim rises, goes to 
window L., whistling.) 

David. Well! 

Postman. (Outside) Special for Austin Be- 
vans. 

David. Not in yet. 

Postman. All right. Sign here. 

Jim. (a. t. c.) Where is Austin, Dave? 

David. He said he wasn't coming home for din- 
ner. (Looking at letter.) He's gone to see his girl, 
and he's going to stay there to dine. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 15 

Jim. If he's invited. ... 

David. He's engaged to her, isn't he ? 

Jim. That's what he says, but what does she say? 
Absokitely nothing. Do you know, Dave. . . . 
(Takes up Susie's photo from bureau) I'm not for 
that pale pearl of refinement. I think she'd drop — 
(David crosses to r. of chair c.) — ^him in an instant 
if her mother said so. 

David. Nonsense- — — 

Jim. And her mother will say so the first time a 
man with a little money comes along. 

David. Susie's in love with Austin^ — any girl 
would be. 

Jim. Well, Susie's in love with Susie. (Replaces 
the photo on bureau, goes toward window R.J 

(Tim enters.) 

David. (Sits chair c.) I'm afraid there's some- 
thing wrong with Austin. Here's a special delivery 
letter for him from a fxrm of attorneys, 

Tim. (To l. of Davidj From a firm of attor- 
neys? 

Jim. (To r. of Davidj From a firm of attorn- 
eys? 

David, (r. of chair c.) Aye, and a deep bass 
voice has been calling him up every fifteen minutes 
all afternoon. 

Tim. (In a deep bass voice) A deep bass voice? 

Jim. (In a deeper bass voice) A deep bass voice. 

(David rises and crosses to r. of Jim, J 

Tim. Now, I wonder what Austin has been do- 
ing that he oughtn't to do. 

Jim. (Holding out his hand) Let me see the 
letter, Dave? 

David. (To easy chair. Putting letter in his 



i6 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

pocket.) You attend to your own business, and 
I'll (Sits easy chair. Switches on fan.) 

(Tim goes up l. c, replaces cushion on piano stool, 
goes to R. of chair u. c.) 

Jim. And you'll attend everybody else's. 
(Enter George door l. Crossing to George. J 

Jim. George, got any money? 

George, f l. c.j Any what? 

Jim. Any money. 

George. What ? 

Jim. Money. You know. Those long green 
ones? 

George. I should say not. (Crossing to b. l.J 
I've just lost my job. 

Jim and Tim. You've lost your job? 

David. You've lost your job ! Why? 

George. (Sits b. l. of t. c.) Because I'm always 
late. (To Tim J That's your fault, you always 
wake me in such a tactless sort of way. (Throws 
cap in u. r. corner.) I never want to get up. (Jim 
sits chair L. j 

David. I'm sorry you've lost your job, George. 
And the twins — they've had their allowance 
stopped. 

Jim. Our future home — Poughkeepsie. 

David. (Is sitting easy chair.) I don't know 
how we're going to get along — Twins with nb al- 
lowance, George without a job. 

Tim. (Has put his foot on chair above t. and is 
unlacing his hoots.) Well, the rent's paid till Au- 
tumn — ^that's some comfort. 

Jim. Yes, and I suppose we can starve like "little 
g-entlemen" in our own home. 

George. For the love of Mike, Tim, don't take 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 17 

your shoes off in the parlor. I never saw anything 
like you fellows, you keep this room looking like a 
pig-pen, law books all over the table — (David rises 
and takes his books, all but one over message, off 
the c. table, puts them on stand u. R.J — and look 
at the wash — right in the middle of the floor. 
(Rises, L. c, very angry, to Jim. J Whose week is 
it to put away the wash? 

Jim. Yours, my bright-eyed buckoo. 

George. (Sits b. l. of t. c, starts looking 
through the wash.) All right. Where's the list? 
(Tim gets the list which is pinned on wall below 
bureau.) Hullo, Dave, youVe been getting a new 
undershirt. 

David. (Proudly) Two. (Puts papers on floor, 
back of easy chair.) 

Jim. Spendthrift. (Tim goes to George — pins 
the list on his coat. Tim exits to kitchen.) 

George. (Snatches the list off his coat. Holding 
up ragged socks.) For heaven's sake, Jim, do you 
waste our money having socks like that washed? 
(He throws them on floor l. c.) 

Jim. (Rises — snatching them up) No, you don't. 
What's the matter with those socks ? The holes are 
all below shoe-level — except one, and I paint my 
heel under that. (Going up to bureau, puts them in 
drawer.) My best dancing socks. 

David. (Sits — easy chair.) I suppose you can 
get another job, George. 

George. (Looking through the wash) Oh, I 
guess so — I never wanted to be an accountant, any- 
how. That was all my family's bright idea. 

Jim. (Leaning against front of bureau) Oh, 
your family. Where did the idea ever creep in that 
a family is a blessing? 

George. What's the matter with all of us, any- 
how? Why can't any of us get along? (Rises, 
picks up the basket, goes up to bureau.) I'm going 



i8 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

to ask Austin. (Jim is in his way, leaning against 
the front of the bureau. George grabs him by the 
scruff of the neck and pushes him aside.) He'll 
know. 

Jim. Yes, and he'll certainly tell us. (Enter 
Austin door l., carrying overcoat and wearing a 
cap. The custom of the house is not to exchange 
greetings. Almost seated in chair u. l. c.) Oh, 
Austin, got any money? 

Austin. Any what? 

Jim. (Goes to him) Any money, you know; 
you must have seen it. 

Austin, Not that I can remember. (Lays coat 
on chair l., crosses to chair c. David rises.) 

Jim. (l. c.) Gee, that's tough! There's not 
much to eat in the house. Thought you were going 
to dine out to-night with the Rolles. 

Austin. So did I, but Mrs. Rolles thought dif- 
ferently. (Looks at David, who comes to r. of 
chair c. Austin sits chair c.) 

David, (r. of chair c.) Is there anything wrong, 
Austin? 

Austin. You bet there is. She came out into the 
open to-day. She's forbidden me the house. 

Jim. (l. c, goes to chair up l. c.) The motherly 
old dear! 

^George is below bureau, folding an undershirt, 
which he holds in front of him, the last piece — 
he has put the rest into the drawers.) 

David. What did Susie say ? 

Austin. Absolutely nothing. 

Jim. (About to sit chair u. l. c.) Ha 



("George hits him on the head with the undershirt, 
then puts it in drawer, Jim sits.) 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 19 

David. Austin, what happened ? 

Austin, I suppose I wasn't very tactful. 
(George sits on bench l. of t.c.J It began by Mrs. 
Rolles saying to me— as if she were saying "What 
fine weather we are having" — "The trouble with 
you, Mr. Bevans, is that you're the least little bit 
vulgar." Good — said I, "I knew there was some- 
thing nice about me. And anyhow," said I, "I 
should think Susie could forgive my being a litfle 
vulgar, if I could forgive her being so darned re 
fined." That made the old lady angry, and she ex- 
plained how I wasn't a suitable m^atch for her daugh- 
ter from any point of view. "What are you?" said 
she. "An automobile salesman !" — and if she had 
said I was a crawling worm she couldn't have felt 
worse about it. I told her I had a feeling I was 
going to make a lot of money some day. "Oh, in- 
deed," said she. "Well, you can't support a wife 
on that feeling, can you?" Well, I let that pass, 
and told her how awfully in love I am with Susie. 
"Yes," said she, "and in six months from now you 
will be awfully in love v/ith some one else. Men" — 
and this was a nasty one— (The boys all lean for- 
ward expectantly )— "Men are never constant to the 
unattainable." I told her I v/ouldn't agree that Susie 
was unattainable until Susie had told me so her- 
self. "Well, that was too bad, because Susie was 
out." I knew that was a lie, so I just stepped into 
the hall and yelled "Susie !" at the top of my lungs. 
She came down, all right. 

David, (r. of chair c. ) What did she say ? 

Austin. Oh, she said a lot of things, of nice 
things, but the truth is, she sticks by her mother. 

David. I'm afraid — (Hand on his shoulder) — 
it's just a question of money with Mrs. Rolles. 
(George pats Austin on back, absent-mindedly.) 

Austin. (Rising, crosses toward chair l. George 
takes Austin's cap off as he passes and throws it 



20 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

to Jim, who is sitting on chair u. l. c.) Vd go a 
good way on the downward path to have some at 
this — moment. (Austin sits chair l,) Gee, isn't 
the world rottenly arranged ! 

George. I should say it is. (Sits chair c.) 

David. Aye, aye ! (Sits chair c.) 

Austin. By the time I'm an old man I shall 
probably have all the money I want, and I'd gladly 
sell the last twenty years of my life for a good in- 
come at this very moment. 

David. (Sitting easy chair) Austin, George has 
lost his job. 

(George glares at him, throws leg over arm of 

chair.) 

Austin. Ha ! 

George. (Pointing at Jim J And the Twins' al- 
lowance is stopped. 

Austin. Trying to cheer me up? (Looks at 
Jim, who is sitting on chair u. l. c., absent-mindedly 
fumbling with Austin's cap, Austin rises, takes 
cap from Jim. Peevishly) Must you do that? 
(Jim rises, goes to window u. l. Austin puts cap 
on, goes to chair L.) 

George. (Rises, goes to him) Say, Austin, I 
want to ask you what's the matter with all of us? 
Now, here we are, young 

Jim. (h. of piano) And beautiful. ('Tim enters 
from kitchen, stays at door,) 

George. Why is it none of us can get along? 

Austin. Don't you know, George? 

George. No. 

Austin. Because we're young, George, and the 
world is run by old people. (With feeling. Going 
np L.c. Xes about to table u.r., takes two cans of 
tobacco there and pipe.) Dam 'em. I sometimes 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 21 

wish there wasn't anyone alive over sixty. fGEORGE 
moves to commode lJ 

Tim. (Dodging Austin^ Sixty ! Ha ! You're 
liberal. (Xes, takes the ukulele from mantel — sits 
chair r.— fingering the strings softly. George puts 
Austin's coat on chair above door l. — then sits, 
chair L.) 

Jim. (Goes to chair ux.c.J I offer one per- 
fectly good father to the general massacre. (Sits.) 

Austin. (Coming to ux. of t. — fills pipe.) It's 
a conspiracy of old age to keep us down. In the 
first place, we're educated all wrong— — 

George. Eh ! 

Austin, That's part of the game — they keep us 
from starting to earn our living as late as they pos- 
sibly can. Then they advise us all v/rong. As soon 
as we show any particular ability along any line, 
they rush in and make us do something entirely dif- 
ferent. Just look at me. There's George, he v/anted 
to be a violinist and what is he — an accountant. 
(^George lighting cigarette^ and swings his legs over 
u. arm of chair.) David wanted to be a farmer and 
he's studying law. fDAViD kicks book off table.) 
I don't know what you want, Twins 

Tim a7id Jim, We want to marry an heiress. 

Austin. I guess it would take two of you to do 
it. Well, see what happens. (Sits on l. of table c.) 
Your father cuts your allowance, so that you have to 
wear cheap ties like that one of Jim's, — fDAViD rises 
R. of B.R.j which no heiress would tolerate for an 
instant. 

Jim. (Rises — shows Austin tie) It's a very 
smart tit — 

Austin. It's a rotten tie, Jim. (Jim sits chair 
u.L.c.J And here I am, wanting to be a teacher. 

George. A teacher! 

Austin. What am I ? An automobile salesman, 
(Throws cap on JiM.j 



22 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

David. (Filling his pipe from one of Austin's 
cayis of tobacco) Now, do you think you'd have 
made a good teacher, Austin? 

Austin. I know perfectly well I would. Why, 
David, education is the most interesting subject in 
the world — and there's more fake about it than about 
anything else. All you have to do is to think nat- 
urally about it. Now, what are the two most im- 
portant things to us all? I'll tell you — earning a 
living and falling in love. 

George. Eh ! 

David. Ba! (Sits b.r. of t.cJ 

Austin. Does education teach us either of these? 
—No. 

Jim. Do you think you need to be educated to 
fall in love? 

Austin. You have to be educated to fall in love 
right — to say nothing of needing education to make 
yourself attractive. Now, I ask you — I took a 
course in astronomy — a lot of bunl<: about the motion 
of stars. Wouldn't it have been more useful if I 
had taken a course in the psychology of women? 
(Puts pipe in his month.) Then I'd have known 
how to talk to Mrs. Rolles this afternoon. 

Jim. (Sitting — chair up L.c.J I'm taking a prac- 
tical course in that every day. 

Austin. And as for girls — fTwiNS attention) — 
as for the education of girls, that's the most inter- 
esting subject of all. An old aunt of mine had a 
school for girls. 

Jim. Oh, you lucky dog. 

Austin. Oh, she wouldn't let me go near the 
place. I never wanted to. She deHberately set out 
to educate those girls to be as unattractive as pos- 
sible. 

David. Now, how did she go about it? 

Austin. She made them slick their hair down, 
wear a sort of uniform, and she taught them mathe- 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 2^ 

matics and Latin, and all the things they don't need 
to know. That's the conspiracy — to keep young peo- 
ple learning the wrong things as long as they pos- 
sibly can — in the meantime the old people run every- 
thing to suit themselves. 

George. It's true — too true. 

(^Austin rises — replaces the tzvo cans of tobacco on 
R.u.R. — fakes the pack of cards from the table, 
comes back to l. of t.cJ 

Jim. (Rises, comes down l.c.J Well, what are 
we going to do about it? 

David. (Rises) I tell you what you are going 
to do, Jim, you're going to get dinner. 

Jim. Ah, the legal mind. What a help it is. 
Come on, Tim. (Exits to kitchen. Tim rises, David 
takes the ukulele from him, moves him toward 
kitchen. Tim exits into kitchen. David places the 
ukulele on mantel.) 

George. (Sees a book still on the table, starts to 
throw it to David, who quickly takes it, showing the 
paper under it. George picks up the paper) Hullo 
— call Homer Johns ! W^ell, I must say, David, I do 
think you might give me my messages — -here's an 
important one from Homer Johns 

David. Do you know him? 

George. Of course I know him. 

David. Then tell him not to shout so over the 
telephone. , 

George. He's one of the biggest lawyers in New 
York, besides being a director in the bank where I 
am — was, and you leave it kicking about. 

David. (Taking paper from George — hands it to 
Austin j It isn'U for you, George. It's for Aus- 
tin. 

George. For Austin? Do you know Homer 
Johns ? 



24 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Austin. Never saw him. I used to hear my 
aunt talk of him. 

George. Of course it/s for me. Dave, got it 
wrong. He's an old friend of my family's. I don't 
mind telling you fellows — (Rises, carefully closes the 
kitchen door, down L.c.j — ^though I wouldn't mention 
it to the Twins, that I hope some day to marry his 
niece. 

Austin. His niece! 

George. Elise Benedotti. 

Austin. Does he know that, George? 

George, (l. of b.l.J No, not yet. 

David. (At e. chair) Does she know it? (Sits 
on arm of easy chair.) 

George. Oh, I guess Elise has a pretty good idea 
about it. Girls are awfully quick, you know. I ask 
her to marry me every time I see her ! 

Austin. Does she always refuse you, George? 

George. (Boastingly) No — she never refuses. 
She just says: "George, I can't give you any idea 
how much you bore me." I don't call that a re- 
fusal. (T>AViT> slides into chair.) 

Austin. Well, I couldn't consider it exactly en- 
couraging, George. 

George. Now, I don't know — I'm not so sure 
about that. Girls, you know, don't like to show their 
feelings. (Sits — bench l. of t.c. — throws paper on 

T.C.J 

Austin. (Rises, places cards on bureau, comes 
dozvn L.C.J Bunk, my dear fellows — all bunk! If 
girls want you — they grab you. If they don't grab 
you, they don't want you. 

George. (Shocked — is sitting on b.l. of t.c. J 
Oh, no, Austin, — not the nice ones. 

Austin, (l. of GeorgeJ You talk as if it wasn't 
nice to be human. 

George. I don't believe it is — for a girl. 

Jim. (Putting his head in at the door — and 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 25 

wearing a kitchen apron) How do you want the 
potatoes ? 

Austin. fLX J Fried ! 

David. Boiled ! 

George. Mashed ! 

('David starts to speak — too slow.) 

Jim. Good. They are mashed. (Exits kitchen.) 

Austin. Why did you ask us then? 

Jim. Oh, just to please you. (Goes back into 
the kitchenette.) 

David. (Going to r. of chair c. Taking the let- 
ter from his hip pocket) Oh, Austin, this came a 
little while ago. 

Austin. What ? (Comes down l.c. Crosses 

to L. of F. of chair c. — takes the letter.) 

David. A special delivery. 

George. (Tries to see letter — then stands on 
chair c. — looking over Austin's shoulder at the en- 
velope) From a firm of attorneys. 

Jim. (Entering — kitchen door) Oh, joy, oh, 
rapture unrefined. We've found a melon and a 
grapefruit in the icebox. The melon's rotten and 
the grapefruit's green, but such as they arc 

^George has grabbed cushion from b.r. of t.c. — 
throws it at Jim, who disappears — closing the 
door ''bang." — George and David stand watch- 
ing Austin as he reads.) 

George. (Turning to Austin j Well? 
Austin. (Rather solemn) Well, what do you 
think? 

David, ('r. of chair c.) What is it, man? 

Austin. Well, what do you know about this- 

David. What ? 

Austin. IVe inheritsed the scha©!. 



26 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

David. An automobile school? 

Austin. A ^rl's boarding school ! 

George. A what? 

Austin. A girls' boarding school. 

George. A what? 

Austin. (Crossing to chair R.j You heard me 
the first time. 

George. Yes, I know, — but when I say, "A 
what ?" I mean "how peculiar." 

David. (Goes to Austin's l.j Who is it from, 
Austin ? 

Austin. From Johns. It seems he was my 
aunt's lawyer, says the property consists of about 
seven acres, with two large buildings capable of 
housing fifty pupils with teaching stafif and ser- 
vants' quarters — small cottage where my aunt her- 
self used to live — ^tennis courts, swimming pool, 
vegetable and flower gardens — oh, this is not so good 
— Uh! (Sits chair r. — George jumps down and 
hurries to L. of David. Read.) "Unfortunately 
of late 5^ears, Mrs. Bevans has been expending such 
large sums on betterments that the property is heav- 
ily mortgaged, and the fixed charges almost equal 
the gross income." (The smoke is blown into Aus- 
tin's face. George and David lean forward to see 
the letter. Austin looks at them, they straighten 
up.) "The holder of the mortgage, however, is a 
gentleman whose personal interest in the school 
would lead him to make the most favorable ar- 
rangements consistent with his own interests. We 
should advise you to confer with us at once in refer- 
ence to continuing the school along the lines he 
thinks best." Along the lines he thinks best! (To 
them.) How about along the lines / think best? 

George. Why should anyone leave a girl's school 
to you ? 

Austin. She didn't leave it to me. She died 
without a will, and I'm next of kin. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 27 

David. (Crossing f.u. to kitchen door. Shout- 
ing) Twins ! Twins ! Come in here ! f Jim and 
Tim enter, both wearing kitchen aprons — Jim c. of 
door — Tim is R. and above Jim.) Austin has in- 
herited a school. ^George again leans forward to 
see the letter, then goes to table c, puts^ cigarette in 
ash tray.) 

Jim. (l. of Davidj Oh, quit your kidding. 
Can't you see we're busy? (Turns to go out.) 

David. (At r. of door, stops them) No, it's true. 
He's inherited that school from his aunt. 

Jim. (l. of TimJ What kind of a school? 

David. A young ladies' boarding school. 

Jim and Tim. (On same cue with Jim sing as 
they cross) Good night— Ladies. Good night — La- 
dies. 

Jim. (Crossing to l. of Austin — Tim on Aus- 
tin's R. — David goes to r. of chair c. — George to 
r. of T.c.j Congratulations, old man. (^Austin 
rises— Crosses to R.c.j Well, next to inheriting the 
Sultan's harem 

David. (Stopping Austin j Austin, pity it isn't 
a boys' school. Then you could be a teacher at 
last. 

Austin. Think I couldn't teach girls? 

George, (r. of t.c. j Of course you could, Aus- 
tin. (Goes to chair above t.c. — Sits.) 

Tim. (Going to r. of George J Sure 

Jim. (At chair r.) Of course he could — only 
maybe not the thing their parents would v/ant them 
to learn. 

Austin. Jim! (Crosses L.c.j 

David, ^r. of chair c.) Do you think there's 
any money in it, Austin? 

Austin. Money in it ! You bet there is. There's 
nothing the great American public laps up like edu- 
cation, properly presented. I believe I could make 



28 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

the Fairview School for girls one of the most paying 
investments (Tiu — R. of chair c.) 

George. (Rising — hurries down between table c. 
and bench l. to Austin — interrupting) What! 
Hold on. Did you say the Fairview School? 

Austin. ("l.c.J Yes, that was my aunt's name 
for it — silly name, too. 

George, (r. of Austin j But that's where EHse 
goes. 

David, (r. of chair c.) Mr. Johns' niece ? 

George. Yes, and my sister Sally. 

Austin. Your sister goes there? Why, George, 
you must know all about it. Sit down and tell me 
everything you know 

^George sits b.l. David sits chair c. Jim stands 
L.R. of T.C., resting his knee on the bench. Tim 
sits on r. of r.c.^ 

George. Oh, I've never been near the place. 

Austin. (Standing l. of GeorgeJ But you must 
have heard the girls talk about it. What did they 
say ? 

George. Oh, they say the usual things people 

say about their own school. , 

Austin. What sort of things ? Do try and think, 
George. 

George. (Trying hard to remember) Well, they 

said it was rotten. 

Austin. What was? 

George. Everything. 

Austin. They must have mentioned some spe- 
cial things. What did they talk about most? 

George. The food. 

Austin. What did they say about it? 

George. They said it was rotten. 

Austin. Didn't they say anything about the 
teachers? 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 29 

George. Yes, theyisaid they were rotten. 

Austin. Which ones? 

George. All of them — except Miss Hays. 

Austin. Who is Miss Hays? 

George. I don't know women, but I think she 
must be the rottenest of all. One of these women 
who goes around making fun of men. I don't think 
girls should be allowed to make fun of men, do you? 

(^Austin goes toward chair L.j 

Tim and Jim. (Indignantly ) Certainly not. 

Jim. Come on, Tim, let's finish dinner. (They 
x.A. — exit kitchen.) 

David. Making fun of men — ^is the privilege of 
old maids, isn't it? 

George. Miss Hays isn't so awfully old, and be- 
sides, she's been married. 

Austin. (Comes hack to George j Why does 
she call herself Miss Kays, then? 

George. Because — my mother told me, only of 
course, the girls are not supposed to knov/ — they say, 
she's been divorced. 

Austin, ("l. of b.l.J Divorced? Why, I don't 
think I want a divorced woman teaching my 
girls 

George. Your girls ? It's my girl you're talking 
about. 

Austin. (Crossing r.) I believe I'll take a 
run up there to-morrow and look the property over. 

David. (Rises, above settee. Follows Austin) 
I wouldn't go there, if I were you, Austin, a good- 
looking young fellow like you. 

("George rises to window up r.c. Jim enters kitchen, 
carrying the dinner on a tray.) 

(BELL) 



30 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Jim. Victual's up, gents, dinner is served. 
(The doorbell rings off l.) 

David. (Turns to chair e.) Answer the bell, 
Jim, will you? 

Jim. You're no cripple, are you, Dave? 

David. (Going to the door) I've been doing it 
all day. 

Jim. Then you must do it very well by now. 

(David opens the door l. Johns enters.) 

Johns, Well, this is a nice place to live. Haven't 
you any elevator ? 

David. No. 

Johns. Is this Mr. Austin Bevans? 

David. No, it is not ! 

Johns. It's not an insult to be taken for Mr. 
Bevans, is it? Or isn't it? 

David. Well, I 

Johns. Is he in, or isn't he? 

George. (Hurries to Johns, shakes hands) 
How do you do, Mr. Johns ? 

f David Crosses above to easy chair after closing 

door.) 

Johns. Hullo, George, is this where you live? 

George. Yes, sir. 

Johns. Is Bevans in? 

Austin. (Coming forward to r. of chair c.) I 
am Austin Bevans, sir. 

Johns. (Crossing to f. and l. of b.l. — George 
to L.c.j You! Good heavens. You own a girls' 
school? ("David is R.C.2.J Well, well, well. (He 
laughs heartily, while Austin remains perfectly 
grave.) How did you feel when you heard about 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 31 

your inheritance, something" like the man who in- 
herited a white elephant, eh ? 

Austin. No, Mr. Johns, not at all like that. 

Johns, ("l.c.i.j Well, it's all right. I'll help 
you out. I'll take it off your hands. As a matter 
of fact, I practically own it, anyhow 

Austin. (Crossing to JohnsJ You own my 
school ? 

Johns. Yes, I have a mortgage of $35,000 on it, 
and the property isn't worth more than thirty at the 
outside. 

David. (Comes down r.c.J Now, how's that? 
I'd like to ask you, sir — f Austin and Johns look 
at him.) — I'm a lawyer myself — why should you, a 
businessman, lend more money on a piece of prop- 
erty than it's worth? 

Austin, (f. of b.l.) Yes, Mr. MacKenzie is 
right. Why? 

Johns. (Crossing to l. of David j Well — er — 
matter of friendship. 

David. Friendship ! 

Johns. Yes, my niece is at the school — ^has been 
there ever since she came under my charge, and 
then I've always had a great respect for the lady 
who is second in command there — Miss Hays — I 
didn't want the school to close — but I had no idea 
the extravagant program that Mrs. Bevans was start- 
ing on — why, she used the money to fit the place up 
like a palace — folly, sir, folly — but Miss Hays is 
much more sensible. Under her management 

Austin, (l. of chair c.) Sit down, Mr. Johns. 
("All start to offer him a seat. Austin the chair c. 
— as he does not take it, Austin pushes it up to 
table — out of the way. George the chair l. Jim 
the chair u.c. — stands a.l. of t.c. David the chair 
R.) I'd like to discuss this with you. 

Johns, (r. of chair c.) Not worth while. Only 



32 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

take a minute to say what I have to say. Just want 

to put you out of your agony 

Austin, (u of chair c) I haven't been in any 
agony. 

Johns. It*s all right, Miss Hays is a college 
woman — she's giving the girls a splendid education 
— taking all the nonsense out of them — making 'em 
sensible and husky. Now this is my proposition — I 
won't foreclose and you won't interfere. If we go on 
losing money, I'll pay the bills. If we make any 
(Quickly.) which isn't likely, Fll go shares with you. 
That's pretty liberal. You approve of that, I sup- 
pose? 

Austin, (l. of chair c. — firmly) No, Mr. 
Johns, I dqn't approve. 
Johns, (r. of chair c.) What do you mean? 

David. Why, man ? 

George. (At chair l.) Why, Austin! 
Austin. I don't approve of that idea of educa- 
tion. I don't want the nonsense taken out of girls. 
("Johns looks at him.) No man does. I don't want 
them educated to be sensible, and husky. 

Johns. Well, bless my soul, how do you want 
them to be educated? 

Austin. (Calmly) I want them educated to be 
charming. 
Johns. Charming f 

Austin. Yes, charming — charming in the best 
sense — well-mannered, low-voiced, well-dressed, 
feminine, able to meet all situations. That's what 
we all want girls to be — why not educate them to 
be it? 

Johns, ^r. and f. of chair c.) You can't teach 
'em those things. 

Austin, (t. and l. of chair c.) You can't, 
maybe. My aunt couldn't. Perhaps that's why abe 
left the ftohool to me. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL ^ 

Johns. She didn't leave it to you — if she had 
she should have spent the best of her days in a luna- 
tic asylum. 

Austin. You think Vm not a fit person to run 
a girls' school ? 

Johns. You're about the most unfit I ever saw. 

Austin. There you're wrong. I am fitted to run 
a school — much better fitted than my aunt was, first, 
because I am a businessman 

Johns. What ! 

Austin. Don't interrupt, please. Now the great 
principle which has made the success of the press 
and the theater has never been applied to educa- 
tion 

Johns. What principle do you mean? 

Austin. The principle of giving your public 
what it wants. 

Johns. Giving the girls vv^hat they want? 

Austin. No, no one cares about the girls — the 
parents — the parents are my public. 

Johns. Your public? 

David. (^r.c.i.J Austin, you don't mean you'll 
ever go near the place yourself ? 

Austin. Not go near it, Dave. I shall live there 
and direct it just as my aunt did, but not in the 
same direction. 

Jim. fA.L. of T.c.) Why, Austin, your face 
would v/reck a thousand ladies' seminaries. 

David. fR.c.i.) Who ever heard of a man of 
your age running a girls' school? 

Austin. Dave, you ought to get over the idea 
that because a thing is new it's wrong. 

Johns. But what do you know about education? 

Austin. Nothing at all, just like everybody else. 
(Turns to l.c. j 

Johns. (Crossing to Austin) Now, wait a 
minute, wait a minute, young man. Do you think 



34 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

that any parent who had ever seen you would send a 
girl to your school ? 

Austin. Yes, I ^o, Mr. Johns, for it is to par- 
ents that I should especially appeal. Sit down, Mr. 
Johns, f Johns laughs. George sits, chair l. David 
sits arm of easy chair. Jim stands up l. of T.c. 
Austin takes the chair up l.c, brings if down, 
stands holding its hack, L. of Johns. J Now what is 
it that every parent who sends a girl to boarding- 
school really wants ? 

Johns. (Sits f. of b.l.^ puts hat on chair c.) To 
get rid of her. 

Austin. Very true — ^but that's not all. It's no 
good to get rid of her for four or five years and then 
have her back on their hands forever. Parents want 
girls made into attractive women — they don't dare 
say this — they talk a lot of bunk about cultivation 
and womanliness, but what they really mean is at- 
tractiveness — they want their daughters to be charm- 
ing and have beaux that mean business 

Johns. Eh ! 

Austin. Of course, they do. Well, m}^ scheme 
is to meet the parents half-way. To come boldly and 
say that the object of my school is to teach charm. 
And, by Heavens ! I'll teach 'em — have 'em taught, 
that is. ^Austin replaces the chair, holds it for a 
moment.) 

Johns. By constant personal contact with the 
pupils ? 

Austin. (Coming to l. of Johns j On the con- 
trary — I shall hold myself aloof. I shall be an un- 
seen power. Of course, I shall address the as- 
sembled school now and then. Because you see that 
when an old woman like my aunt told them to stand 
up straight and lower their voices, they didn't pay 
much attention, to her, but when a young man of 
my age says it — or suppose I get Jack Barr3anore 
to come and lecture on the- drama, and he mentions 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 35 

that Juliet's voice was low and thrilling, you bet the 
voices of the school will be a lot lov/er and thrillinger 
at once. Or if Lucille or some other great dress- 
maker told them how much better good clothes look 
on a straight back than a crooked one, they'd stand 
up straight. Do you see ? Do you get my idea ? 

John. Yes. I think I get your idea. But one 
objection occurs to me. School girls are notoriously 
silly creatures. Suppose they all took it into their 
heads to fall in love with you — ^your appearance, you 
know — if I may say so 

Austin. Since you ask me, I think it would be 
better taste not to mention it. 

Johns. Well, all right, take it on the score of 
age, then, you're rather young to run a girls' school. 

George. I should say he is. 

Austin. It's a question of character, not age. 
I've knov/n a lot of old men I shouldn't care to 
trust in my school. 

Johns. (Looks at him) Eh ! 

Austin. But as a matter of fact, I'm not a man 
who inspires affection. 

Johns. You surprise me. 

David. (Rises) You are, man, you are. 

Austin. Thank you, David, f" David sits again, 
arm of easy chair,) And anyhow, I'm only doing 
it because I'm in love with another girl, and am in 
hopes of getting enough money to marry her before 
her mother finds a better m.atch for her daughter. 

Johns. Oh, I see 

Austin. But supposing you're right and one of 
them did fall in love with me. All the better. We 
should simply sublimate her emotion into love of 
her work. 

Johns. You'd what? 

Austin. Sublimate her emotion — not familiar 
with the works of Freud? 

Johns. Never heard of him. 



36 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Austin. Mercy, what a sheltered life you've led ! 
Well, the point is that if one of the girls should de- 
velop a sentiment, I'd make her work all the harder 
for it. 

Johns. 1 see. Pass her college examinations for 
love of you ? 

Austin. College ! I shouldn't allow my girls to 
go to college. 

Johns. The Fairview School has always made a 
specialty of college examinations. 

Austin. Yes, and look at the mortgage on it. 

Johns. Do you think you know more about edu- 
cation than people who have given their lives to it? 

Austin. I know more about girls than a lot of 
old women do. 

Johns. Miss Hays isn't old. 

Austin. Miss Hays? 

Johns. Yes. The lady I spoke of — the lady I 
wish left in charge. 

Austin. Now, you see, Mr. Johns, I don't ask 
you to lend me money to carry out these ideas . . . 

Johns. No, you have some glimmerings left. 

Austin. But what I do ask is this — that you 
leave your money in the school for a time, and that 

you won't withdraw your niece ('Johns looks 

at him suspiciously.) At least, till the end of the 
term. 

Johns. (Suspicious — quickly) Did you ever see 
my niece? 

Austin. No, no, she's nothing but a pupil to me 
. . . but it'd be a terrible black eye to the new man- 
agement if you — such a prominent patron of the 
school . . . 

Johns. (Looking at him) Eh? 

Austin. Were to be the first to remove a pupil. 

David. (Rises, earnestly) Austin, for goodness' 
sake, give up this idea. Let Mr. Johns take over 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 37 

the school. You can't lose anything and you may 
make a dollar or two. (Comes down r.c J 

('Johns looks at David — approving.) 

Austin. Dave, there isn't anything- anyone could 
say could make me give it up. 

Johns. (Rises — to r. of Austin J All right, 
young man, all right, youVe a fine salesman and a 
good talker. We'll go along your own lines. I'll 
leave my niece. 

George. (Rises) I wouldn't do that if I were 
you, sir. 

Johns. How about your sister Sally, George? 

George. Oh, it's all right about Sally, but I don't 
want Austin teaching Elise. 

Johns, (To Austin^ This is my new proposi- 
tion : I'll leave my niece and I'll leave my money on 
two conditions. 

Austin. Good — what are they? 

Johns. First, that no one falls in love with you, 

Austin. I guarantee that absolutely. 

George. I don't see how you can guarantee a 
thing like that. 

Jim. ^u.l. of t.c.j Speaking for myself — that 
would be impossible. 

Johns. Remember that if anyone falls in love 
with you, I'll foreclose, 

Austin. If one of the girls did fall in love with 
me, it would ruin the school! Well, you bet your 
life I won't let that happen. What's your other 
condition ? 

Johns. That you retain Miss Hays as second in 
command. 

Austin. Oh, I don't know about that. 

Johns. (Beginning to he angry) What do you 
mean? WTiat objection have you to Miss Hays? 



38 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

You have to have some woman there. I suppose 
even you will admit that. 

Austin. Yes. I must have a woman in charge. 
But I'm not sure that she would be the best. 

Johns. What have you got against Miss Hays? 

Austin. She's not a relative of yours, is she? 

Johns. Well, she's a sort of connection — ^by mar- 
riage. 

Austin. Well, I understand that she has been 
divorced. 

Johns. (Bursting out) Well, what if she has? 
Are you going to hold it against a woman if she was 
once silly enough to allow herself to be teased into 
marrying a bad-tempered cuss that no one could 
get along with? 

Austin. You knew her husband then? 

Johns. Yes, I know a lot about him. 

Austin. And you think it was all his fault? 

Johns. Yes, I do (A slight pause.) Al- 
most all. 

Austin. The question is^ — would that have a 
good influence on my girls ? 

George. (Standing at chair l. J Your girls ! 

Johns. {Suddenly chuckling) Well, it might 
have a very good influence on her. 

Austin. On her? 

Johns. To have a male boss for a few months. 

Austin. A few months? 

Johns. You don't suppose you are going to last 
longer than the end of the term, do you? 

Austin. Mr. Johns, I expect to live and die as 
the successful principal of the Fairview School for 
girls! (Walks firmly to the telephone on bureau.) 

('Johns gestures ''Hopeless!' Crosses to chair r., 
sits, David crosses up r.c. to r. of Austin J 

George. What are you going to do, Austin ? 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 39 

Austin. (In phone) Hullo Central! Are all 
the wrong numbers busy? Well, get me Western 
Union, please. (During the following conversation 
he sends his message.) Western Union? This is 
Grammercy 4442 — Fairview School, Westchester 
County. Will arrive to-morrow morning to inspect 
the School. Signed — Austin Bevans — Repeat that 
message, please. (When Johns speaks, ''Oh, Mr. 

Bevans " ) And charge it to this number, etc. 

(End of message.) 

Jim. Oh, come on, don't let the food get cold. 
(Exits to kitchen, carries plate.) 

David. (To JohnsJ Mr. Johns, you're a sen- 
sible man, won't you make Austin drop these plans 
of his? 

('George Crosses to l. of David. J 

Johns. For the Charm School? 

David. Yes, you don't mean you think he can 
make a success of it? 

Johns. Certainly not, Mr. McKensie, but when 
an obstinate man has got hold of something that you 
want yourself, sometimes the quickest way to get it 
away from him is to let him ruin it his own way. 

George. fL. of DavidJ But you don't really ap- 
prove of Austin having the instruction of a girl like 
Elise. (Quickly apologizing.) Of course, it's noth- 
ing to me, Mr. Johns 

Johns. Oh, no, of course not, George, but why 
don't you apply for a job there yourself? fJiM en- 
ters — kitchen — to l.c. Tim follows in to l. of bench 
•L.) Girls ought to understand hov/ to balance a 
check-book. (Rises. Going to l. of chair c. 
George sits f. of bench r.J Oh, Mr. Bevans. 

Austin. And charge it to Grammercy 4442 — 



4© THE CHARM SCHOOL 

No, Tm not stuttering, 4442. (Hangs up reemver^ 
c&mss down L.cJ 

f David goes above table c. — sits.) 

Johns. I was just saying, that you oug-ht to get 
George to give a course in household accounting. 
Women should understand such things. 

Austin, (-l. of Johns j Yes. They certainly 
ought. 

Jim. (To l. of Austin^ Oh, Austin, if you give 
George a job, when I need one so terrifically. 

Austin. (Crossing to mantel) Nothing doing, 
Jim. 

Jim. (h. of JoHNS^ Oh, Mr. Johns, speak to 
him. We need a job worse than anybody else. 

Tim. (To r. of JohnsJ Our father has stopped 
our allowance until we find one. 

Johns, (Crossing to l. of Austin, r.c.j Come 
now, Mr. Bevans, aren't you a little inconsistent to 
refuse your friends? If girls are to learn charm, 
so much better from you than from your aunt, why 
shouldn't they learn — (Turns to TwiNS.j — what is it 
you teach, young gentlemen? 

Jim. ("l. of Tim J I am a dancing instructor. 

Tim. (y, of b.l.j And I am amateur tennis 
champion of Poughkeepsie, and I play the ukulele! 

Johns. Poughkeepsie — ^the Smith Brothers with- 
out the beards, (r.c.) There you are, — dancing, 
athletics, and the ukulele from these young men. 

Austin. ("r.J Ah, you're none of you serious, 
but I am. 

Johns. (Looks at him) By Gad, I believe you 
are. 

Austin. You bet I am. I'm going there to- 
morrow to take over the entire management. 

Johns. (Chuckling) I wish I could be there. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 41 

Austin. I wish you could. I wish you'd come 
with me. 

Johns. Oh, no. (Seriously.) I can't do that. 
(A slight pause.) How'll you go about it? 

Austin. I shall have the whole school assem- 
bled, and make them a short address describing" my 
aims and methods. Then I shall have a little chat 
with the teachers, make up my mind which will be 
suitable to my ideas — — 

Johns. (Chuckling) I'd give iQn years to be 
there. 

Austin. Why don't you come and introduce 
me? 

Johns. By George! I believe I will! I'll tell 
you what I'll do. I'll motor you up. I'll call for 
you to-morrow morning at 9 : 30. 

Austin. Right, 9: 30. (The hell rings off l.) 

David. Answer the bell, Jim, since you're up. 

Tim. (Hastily sittiiig down) But I'm not up, 
Dave. (On f. of b.l. of t.c.) 

(Jiu slides up L.c. out of the way. David Crosses 
above to d.l.J 

George. (To l. of JohnsJ I can go with you, 
too, Austin, look over the books and give you some 
idea of your financial position. 

Johns. Why, he hasn't got any financial posi- 
tion. 

('David opens door.) 

Austin, (r.) But I will have. (Goes to man- 
tel) 

(As soon as the Twins see Elise they show sur- 
prise, they slip the aprons off. Jim's on chair 



42 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

u.L.c. Tim rises l. of t.c, drops his apron 
there. David opens door l. Steps back, puts 
on coat, then closes door. Elise is standing 
there. She is small, very gentle, and hides 
under timidity the will of iron.) 

Elise. I beg your pardon. (Timidly.) Is Mr. 
Johns here? 

George. (Turns, sees Elise, crosses eagerly to 
her, hand outstretched, Johns comes to c.) Why, 
Elise I 

Elise. Hello, George! ("Twins take a good 
look at George's sweetheart.) 

Johns, fx. to l.c. Peering at her) What are 
you doing here? 

Elise. Oh! Uncle, — (Crossing toward ]oYi'i^s.) 
I've been waiting hours and hours downstairs in the 
motor — the chauffeur said he was to meet you here 
at six. 

Johns. Why aren't you at school where you be- 
long? 

Elise. Well, I thought I'd like to go to the thea- 
ter to-night, uncle darling. 

Johns. There must be fine discipHne at your 
school. 

Elise. There isn't any, when Miss Hays is 
away. 

Johns. Where is Miss Hays? 

Elise. She's gone home for a few days. 

Johns. Gone home! 

Elise. Yes, her mother's very, very ill. 

Johns. Hu ! 

Elise. And, of course, we can do anything we 
like with Miss Curtis. 

Austin. Ah! 

Johns. (Beginning to shout) Well, you can't 
do anything you like with me. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 43 

Elise. Oh, yes, I can. 

Johns. You'll go straight back there to-night. 

Elise. Oh, no, no, no, not to-night, (Patting his 
cheeks.) Uncle darling. 

Johns. By the next train. I never heard such 
nonsense. 

George. (Steps forward) Oh, do please let her 
stay, Mr. Johns, and we'll all go to the movies. 

Tim and Jim. (Come forward, to l. of JohnsJ 
Ah, please do, Mr. Johns. 

Johns. (Crossing to David — l.i.J Mr. McKen- 
sie, what do you think of this ? CElise follows to R. 

of JOHNS.j 

David. (Solemnly) Well, I think in principle 
the young lady ought to go back to her school. (The 
Boys glare at David for suggesting such a thing.) 

Elise. Oh ! Mr. MacKenzie ! (Smiles at David 
— David weakens.) 

David. But in view of the circumstances, I 
should make an exception. 

Elise. (Beaming on Davidj Oh, that is nice of 
you. (Shakes hands with David.^ How do you 
do? (Turns to the Twins. George shakes hands 
with David. J 

Johns. (Crosses to Austin at mantel — Elise 
follows him) And what do you think of this? 

Austin. (Comes down r.c. Very stern) I 
think she ought to go back. 

Elise. (Reproachfully) Oh! (Stamps her 
foot.) 



CURTAIN 

(First Picture:) 

Johns. (Taking his hat) That settles it, back 
you go! CElise remonstrates.) Johns hurries her 



44 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

to door L.) No, no. ^George hurries to door, opens 
it as Johns hurries Elise out.) 

CURTAIN 

(Second Picture:) 

('George, David and the Twins are grouped around 
the door — looking off. They turn to Austin — 
sitting chair c. — he rises, goes R.) 

CURTAIN 

(Third Picture:) 

(The Boys are grouped l. of chair c. — Austin r.c. 
— Elise and Johns enter — stand inside door- 
way.) 



CURTAIN FALLS 




ijj d! K 
DJ en IP -i H 

^. o ^ 5 j: ^ 






ACT II 

Scene : The main hall of the School in one of the 
fine old Colonial houses of Westchester County, 
New York. 

Everything about the set shozvs the test taste, 
but executed in a quiet, simple manner. 

On L. above the return is a fireplace built 
into the set, about i8 inches above the mantel is 
a fiat extending across stage to r. 

On R. above the return is a fireplace built into 
the set. Both sides of the set below the flat are 
exactly alike. 

This fiat is divided into three equal sections, 
by two posts. Two high arches, and the space 
on the R. contains a glass door which, swings 
down and off,' leading into another section of 
the house and L, of this door a low, broad stair- 
way of six steps running straight up stage to a 
platform — then off to r. There is a high, nar- 
row window above platform. Back of the two 
arches — c. and l.- — is a rectangular space about 
8 by 20 feet; in the wall side on l. is a door. 
Swinging up and off. In the back fiat on l. 
proportioned to the arch L. is a large Colonial 
glass door, swinging up stage and on, with nar- 
row side windows. The rest of back fiat is 
blank, with a side piece coming down stage to 
the post R.c. — The partition between the stairs 
and this section of the set. The above glass 
deor is the general entrance from outside. 
Above this is a porch and rail — backed by a 

45 



46 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

landscape drop — trees, shrubs, etc., in blossom 
— as it is springtime. The door on l. is backed 
by an interior backing — on r. by an interior 
backing. 

Scene I: Time — noon, the following day. 
Scene H : About two weeks later. 

Discovered: Miss Curtis is at desk l. — going 
over her account book, adding up figures, evi- 
dently very much distressed. As she holds her 
head in her hands — ''hopelessly,'' Sally enters 
— running down the stairs R. with ''The Satur- 
day Evening Post."' She stumbles and falls 
above and to l. of sofa R. On seeing Miss Cur- 
tis she hides the "Post" behind her. 

Miss Curtis. (Startled) Oh, Sally! 

Sally. '(On her knees — u.l. of sofa — R. j Shall 
I be in your way if I study in here, Miss Curtis ? 

Miss Curtis. (Not looking up) No, of course 
not, child. What are you studying, Sally? 

Sally. (Selecting a large atlas on sofa R. and 
settling the magazine inside of it — sits on sofa R.) 
Physical geography, Miss Curtis. (Continues to 
read her story — comes to a very exciting part.) Oh ! 

Miss Curtis. Is It so hard, dear? 

Sally. Not very. 

Miss Curtis. Because if it is, you may bring it 
to me — ^but don't disturb me if you can help it — 
I'm so anxious to get these books in order before 
Mr. Bevans arrives. 

Sally. Too bad he's coming the very day Miss 
Hays is away. 

Miss Curtis. Yes, isn't it? — But she'll be here. 
I telegraphed her yesterday. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 47 

Sally. What do you suppose Mr. Bevans will 
be like, Miss Curtis? 

Miss Curtis. I haven't the least idea, Sally, but 
I'm sure of one thing — any relation of dear Mrs. 
Bevans is bound to be a Christian gentleman. 

Sally. (Drearily) I'm afraid so. 

(Muriel and Ethel enter room r. Ethel goes to 
piano and sits. She is wearing very large tur- 
quoise comb in her hair, on r. side. Muriel to 
L. of Sally, looking over her shoulder.) 

Muriel. What are you reading, Sally ? I'm go- 
ing to tell on you. 

Sally. (Driving her away) Shhss — shut up ! 

^Ethel strikes a low note on piano. Miss Curtis 
jumps. Muriel goes to piano, sits on bench, 
below Ethel. They start practicing the scale 
and singing. Miss Curtis nearly goes mad. 
She is holding her head as if it would burst. 
Elise appears on stairs and fakes in the situa- 
tion. Sally rises, carrying the Atlas, she also 
sings the scales, mocking the girls, and crosses 
to above post l.c.J 

Elise. Muriel ! Ethel ! (r. of them.) You are 
almost driving poor Miss Curtis mad. (They stop.) 

Miss Curtis. Cx.f. up to commode) Oh, no, 
Elise, don't stop them ! It's very silly of me not to 
be able to work while they practice. 

Muriel. (Bobbing her head at Elisej I've got 
to do my scales. Elise. 

Elise. Do them in the music room. 

Muriel. It's so chilly there. 

Elise. That's what a music room is for. 

CElise goes to c. The Girls again run the scales 



48 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

and sing. Three times— stop. Sally goes to 
sofa L. Lounges on it. Still absorbed in her 
story.) 

Miss Curtis. (Comes down l. of Elise, who has 
come to c.) Vm so anxious to get these books in 
order before Mr. Bevans arrives — and he may be 
here any moment now. 

Elise. (r. of Miss Curtis^ What do you think 
he'il be like, Miss Curtis ? 

('Sally remains reading- — on sofa i^.) 

Miss Curtis. I haven't the least idea— but do 
you know — whenever Vm in doubt I always consult 
the Bible — just open it anywhere and put my finger 
on a verse. I did it this morning, and what do you 
suppose the verse was ? 

Elise. What was it ? 

Miss Curtis. — What the Queen of Sheba said 
to Solomon: (Crosses f. — to L. of d.l.J "Verily, 
the half was not told to me." 

("Elise crosses to sofa r. — kneels on it, reaches over 
to desk r. Ethel rtms scale and sings to show 
Muriel the way it should be done.) 

Sally. (Dispassionately — is louyiging on sofa h.) 
I suppose you know the furnace man is drunk again, 
Miss Curtis. 

Miss Curtis. (Shocked) Good gracious, Sally, 
that can't be. 

Sally. You mean they can't get it any more. 
Oh, yes, they can — the wise guys. 

Miss Curtis. (More firmly) I mean, you 
shouldn't know anything about such things. 

Sally. Well, how can I help knowing about it. 



THE CHAUM SCHOOL 49 

when he's been rowing with the cook all the morning 
under my window. Ha ! I never heard such names 
as he called her. 

Elise. (Rises and runs to Sally's sJ Give 
us a tell? f Sally rises, leaves book on sofa l. 
Sally whispers it to Elise, Ethel and Muriel 
turn to her — on bench.) Oh! (Crosses to sofa l., 
kneels on if.) 

Ethel and Muriel. (Rise, go to Sally's r.) 

Tell us! Tell us (Sally whispers it to them, 

Muriel first — then to Ethel.J 

Muriel. Tell me ! 

Ethel. (Horrified) Did he say that ? Hu ! 

Muriel. (Crossing to sofa r. — sits) I don't 
call that anything-. My father calls our cook much 
worse every time dinner is late. 

(A terrible racket is heard off stage u.l., followed 
by ang?'y voices. Lillian^ Madge and Alix 
enter—on stairs u.r.J 

Sally. (Runs up to door ux. — looks off-— -turns 
to the Girls, delighted) Ha, ha. I guess she got 
him that time. (Coming down l. of c. Showing 
them how it was done.) She cauglit him and shook 
him and threw him down, then she kicked him. 

Miss Curtis. Oh, Sally, Sally, Sally. (Rising) 
I m,ust go and stop them.. Vm sure I haven't the 
least idea what to say. (l.c.) 

Elise. Shall we go, Miss Curtis? 

Miss Curtis. (Shocked into action, going to 
door v.L.c.) Certainly not, my dear — (Turns.) 
That would be most improper. 

fMiss Curtis exits. Elise to sofa l. — sits. Mu- 
riel crosses to R. of t.r. Kneels on chair — dips 
pen in ink and shakes ink on floor — ines to 



50 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

write — again dips pen in ink and repeats the 
business. Madge and Alix cross to sofa r. and 
sit — Lillian goes to R. of piano, Ethel sits — 
piano bench. Song: "Left All Alone Again" — 
Blues — Night Boat. Muriel starts to sing 
slowly. Ethel picks it up on piano, o§her girls 
slowly come in.) 

Sally, {f, of post — L.c.j It seems as if school 
got rottener every day. 

Ethel. (Sitting — p.b.) It always seems worse 
in Spring-. 

Muriel. (Kneeling on chair — r. of d.r.J Cer- 
tainly the food is rottener. 

Sally. Food! I haven't seen any real — what I 
call food — since I came here. (Slides down — sits on 
floor — F. of post L.C.j 

Lillian. (Going to C.3J I shouldn't mind so 
much, if they taught us anything really useful — 
(To L., whirls about, jumps on u. arm of sofa l. j 
like a new step in dancing, -f Elise rises— sits on top 
of piano.) 

(Song: "I Might Be Yours Once in a While.'') 

Madge. (Rises — going to piano) Oh, what's the 
use of knowing how to dance if there aren't any 
boys to dance with? (Sits on bench below Ethel. j 

("Ethel commences to play, the Girls sing 16 bars 
of "I Might Be Yours Once in a While.'' ) 

Muriel. (Sits — chair R.j I feel as if I should 
die, if I didn't see an attractive man within twenty- 
four hours. 

Sally. Any kind would do me. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 51 

Alix. (Sitting on sofa R. — to Muriel j But — 
but — but — — 

Lillian. (On sofa l.) Quiet, there, quiet! 
(^Ethel stops playing.) Alix is trying to say some- 
thing in English. 

f Ethel slides down on bench, shoves Madge off. 
Madge stands at post r. of piano.) 

Alix. But I heard — they say in France that que 
les jeunes filles Amerlcaines — the American girls 
they do not like men. 

Madge, (r. of p.) Mustn't believe all you hear, 
Alix. 

Sally. Where did you get that stuff ? 

Ethel. Alix, why don't you like men? 

Alix. (Rises, crosses a. to l. of desk l.) I — oh, 
yee-es — I like the men, I like them — very, very 
much 

Ethel. So do I like men, a different one every 
day. (Turns to piano.) 

Sally. Ethel, I call that flirting. (Plays.) 

("Madge sits sofa r. Lillian sits sofa l. Sally 
at post L.c. Alix l. of desk l. Muriel sits R. 
of desk R.) 

Elise. No, you're all wrong, Sally, that's not 
flirting 

f Madge sofa r.^ sits. Ethel starts to play on the 
piano. Elise sings.) 

"WHEN I DISCOVER MY MAN" 

It is not flirting, you'll agree 

To take a lot of time and trouble 



5IS THE CHARM SCHOOL 

To find the man who wi'l for me 

Make sorrow half a-^d pleasure double. 

It seems as t^ioug"h I'd changfed my mind 
And loved first one man, then another, 

But no, I merely try to find 

The one man worth all the bother. 

fSALLY lifts Elise* arm.) 

REFRAIN : 

I would not marry 

Tom or Dick or Harry, 
Bill or Phil or Larry 

Oh, no, (Stop.) 

But oh, it worries me so 

To pick the right sort of beau (Hum,) 
He must be like Apollo 

Not a little Rolio 
To discover him is my plan 

And he won't get out of my sight 
For a night 

When I discover my man. 

Elise. If perchance a man can dance 
Girls. That enhances the romance 
Elise. He should make the first advance 
Girls. And they all learnt how in France 
Elise. And I rather like them breezy 
And easy 
In finance. 
Girls. And if he doesn't fill 
Elise. What some people call the bill 
Girls. There, are many others will 
Elise. You had better wait until 

You re-discover your lover, 
Perhaps the new one is the true one. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 53 

(At finish of dance All are sifting on the floor. 
Elise c.2 — Muriel r.c.l. — Madge l. of r.c.2. 
Lillian r. of c.3 — Sally c. above Elise, Alix 
L. of l.c.l. — Ethel L.C.2J 

Lillian". (Crawls to EliseJ I know a school 
where they have a regular dance with boys every 
Saturday night. 

Madge. I should adore that. 

Lillian. How divine. 

Sally. (Crazds forward) Some school. 

Ethel. (Crossing above to below Sallyj I won- 
der if we couldn't introduce that idea here. 

Sally. With Miss Hays? I guess not. 

Ethel. Oh, no, Sally, with the new principal. 
Perhaps we could put it over with Mr. Bevans. 

Sally. In the long run you can usually put any- 
thing over with a man. 

Elise. Particularly an old man. I can do any- 
thing I like with my uncle. 

Sally. Hy! He wouldn't \tt you stay in town 
last night. 

Elise. Oh, that wasn't my uncle. That was a 
most wonderful man. 

Girls. (Ad lib, crawl forward) Who was it? 

Lillian. What's his name? 

Elise. I don't know his name. But he was tall 
and beautiful and stern and when all the others 
begged my uncle to let me stay, he simply said, "I 
think she ought to go back." 

Sally. And you liked that? 

Elise. Oh, Sally, he was divine. He was like a 
king. 

(Enter Miss Curtis d.u.l.c. — talking to herself.) 
Miss Curtis. Children — children. (The Girls 



54 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

crowd around her. Elise and Alix l. of Miss CuR- 

TISj 

Sally, fu. <?/ Miss Curtis^ Wasn't he spiffed, 
Miss Curtis? 

Miss Curtis. Do you know, dears, I don't be- 
lieve men wo^ld ever take that horrid stuff if they 
knew how — uncontrolled it made them appear. 

("Elise L. of Miss Curtis. J 

Muriel. (Crossing toward her) Did you set- 
tle him, Miss Curtis? 

Miss Curtis. Yes, I quieted him. He seemed 
to fall into a sort of stupor. 

Muriel. That's a new name for it. 

Miss Curtis. (A gong sounds off u.l.^ There's 
the eleven o'clock recess. (Crossing f. to l. of 
desk L.J 

Elise. (The Girls start for d.r. ad lib. Starts 
with Girls, comes hack to c.) Can't I help you, 
Miss Curtis ? I'm not much good at figures, but 

Sally. (At d.r. — to c.) Come on, Elise, we 
have a senior class meeting. Have you forgotten? 
And you senior president! 

Elise. (r. of c.3 J Can I help you ? (To Sally j 
Shss — don't be so noisy. 

Miss Curtis. (Crosses f. to r. of d.r. Carries 
a ledger and sheet of paper, lays the ledger on the 
desk. — After a pause — picks up something on floor 
R.C.J Thank you, dear. I'll get along somehow — 
but I do wish Miss Hays were here. (^Muriel 
throws dart.) Those children are about six years 
old, every one of them. (Goes on murmuring as she 
works. The Girls go out d.r. — Sally goes to 
Elise, grabs her hand and drags her out d.r. Johns 
enters d.u.l.c, wears cap and automobile coat, comes 
down to C.3 — Miss Curtis springs up and ap- 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 55 

proaches Johns.j Oh, Mr. Bevans! We've been 
expecting you. I'm so sorry Miss Hayes isn't here. 
I am Miss Curtis, the School's Secretary. 

Johns. fc.3j I am not Mr. Bevans, Miss Cur- 
tis. 

Miss Curtis, (r. of Johnsj No? Oh, do ex- 
cuse me, you see we're expecting our new principal 
to-day. Are you a — are you a parent? 

Johns. No, I'm not. My name is Johns. 

Miss Curtis. (Backing away) Johns, Johns! 
Not — not — not — — 

Johns. Homer Johns is my name. 

(^Austin enters d.u.l.c, carries derby hat, and wears 

overcoat,) 

Miss Curtis. Oh, good gracious ! But what are 
you doing here? 

Johns. I came to bring you your new principal. 
fMiss Curtis places the dart she has in her hand 
on desk r. Austin comes down l. of Johns. j 
Miss Curtis, this is Mr. Bevans. 

Miss Curtis. (Turns, sees Austin. Gives a 
low cry) Heavenly day — him! (Corrects herself,) 
He ! (Backs to u.e. of sofa r. j 

Austin. (Seeing the time has come to assert 
himself. Crosses to her. Johns goes down L.c.j 
Miss Curtis, I should like to inspect the buildings 
and grounds, and then later in the morning, I wish' 
you would assemble the entire school, so that I can 
speak to them all. 

Miss Curtis, (r. of c.) Oh, I don't quite see 
how that can be possible. You see, they are all in 
classes. 

Austin, (c.) They must be gotten out of their 
classes. 

Miss Curtis. Yes, yes, of course. (To door.) 



56 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Oh, dear, oh, dear. Will you just wait here a mo- 
ment, please? f Miss Curtis goes to door r. — turns 
about, confused.) Just a moment, please 

CAusTiN watches her out — looks at Johns — goes to 
sofa R. — looks at painting on wall above mantel 
on R. — the portrait of his late aunt.) 

Johns. (Comes to l. of c.) So you are going 
to be a tyrant, eh? 

Austin. Most people like their orders better 
when they're clear. 

Johns. Young man, you have some sound ideas, 
but if I were about to address fifty giggling girls, I 
should be nervous. 

Austin. They won't giggle. 

(Re-enter Miss Curtis- — d.r. — looking at Austin, 
hardly able to speak.) 

Miss Curtis. (Crosses to c. — indicating door l.) 
I wonder, would you mind waiting in that room — 
just a moment — please. If you don't mind — fAus- 
tin crosses to d.l. — turns to her. Johns crosses to 
1B..C.) you see, I fear it would be somewhat of a 
shock to the girls if they should see you (^Austin 
turns to her) unexpectedly. f Austin bows.) 
Thank you. 

Austin. Thank you. (Exits d.l. J 

Johns. ^(Crossing to d.l.j I guess they'd bear 
up, all right. (Bows — esdts d.l.) 

fMiss Curtis trying to collect herself — crosses — 
and closes door r. — so the Girls zvill not see 
the ''man.'' Miss Hays enters — d.u.l.c, wear- 
ing hat and traveling dress.) 

Miss Hays. Well, Theodosia! 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 57 

Miss Curtis. (Turns, sees Miss Hays, goes to 
her) Oh, Eleanor! Eleanor! Thank Heaven, you 
have come! Oh, Eleanor, the most dreadful thing 
has happened. 

Miss Hays. (c. — Perfectly calm and accus- 
tomed to IMiss CuRTisj What has happened, Theo- 
dosia? 

Miss Curtis, (^r. of Miss Hays — pointing to 
door L.J Listen, Eleanor, there's a young man in 
there who looks like a Greek God, and says he owns 
the school, and wants to inspect it. (Miss Hays be- 
gins to smile at the idea.) Ah, you wouldn't smile, 
my dear, if you had seen him. I tell you he's the 
kind of a young man who should never come into a 
girls' school. Why, he's heaittiful. 

Miss Hays. (Laughs) Well, of course, Theo- 
dosia, that's very wrong of him, but if he owns the 
school, we can't very well keep him out, can we? 
(Turns to go to d.l.) I'll go and speak to him. 

Miss Curtis. Oh, no, no CMiss Hays 

turns to her,) You can't do that, either. Because 
another terrible thing has happened. 

Miss Hays. Now, what has happened, Theo- 
dosia ? 

Miss Curtis. He was brought here by your — ^by 
Mr, Johns. 

Miss Hays. By Homer? 

Miss Curtis. (Distracted) Yes, yes, of course, 
you can't see them. I'll have it to do. You had bet- 
ter go upstairs and lock yourself in your room — 
only tell me what to say 

Miss Hays. Lock myself in my room? Non- 
sense I If Mr. Johns can bear seeing me, I think 
I can bear seeing him. I shall behave as if he were 
any other parent or guardian of the school. Noth- 
ing will annoy him more than that. (Crosses a. to R. 
fi/ desk R., removing gloves, etc. Miss Curtis goes 



58 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

up c. Looks off d.lJ They want to inspect the 
school, do they? Very well, I'll take them over it. 

Miss Curtis. Oh, Eleanor, I do think you're 
brave. 

Miss Hays. Will you please go and call them 
in, Theodosia? 

Miss Curtis. Yes — ^yes — I will. (Starts for d. 
— turns to Miss Hays.) I'll bring your smelling 
salts, you'll need them. ('Miss Hays smiles — Miss 
Curtis goes to d.l. Calling off.) Gentlemen, will 
you please come this way ? (As they appear.) Miss 
Hays is here. 

f Austin enters, comes to c. — Johns follows him 
into L. of c. Miss Hays picks tip paper on 
desk R., glances at it. Miss Curtis r. of 

post L.) 

Austin. Is this Miss Hays? 

fMiss Hays looks only at Austin. It is a shock to 
Johns to find her there.) 

Miss Hays. How do you do, Mr. Bevans? 

Austin. (Noticing that she pays no attention to 
Johns j I believe you have met Mr. Johns? 

Miss Hays. (Perfectly civil) Not for some 
years. (She tears the paper Miss Curtis has put 
on desk R., drops the pieces in waste-paper basket in 
front of desk — looks at Johns. J You have taken 

on weight since last we met, Mr. Johns f Johns 

buttons his coat.) Now, Mr. Bevans, I understand 
you want to inspect the school. I am at your dis- 
posal. What would you like to see first? 

Austin. ('r.c.J I would like to look at the little 
cottage where my aunt 

Johns, (l.c, interrupting) Before you start on 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 59 

youf tour of inspection, might I have a word with 
you in private, Miss Hays? 

f Austin turns up r.c. to piano.) 

Miss Hays. (Calmly surprised) I'm afraid not, 
Mr. Johns. But if you have anything to say about 
EHse, Miss Curtis is disengaged, I think. 

Miss Curtis. (Standing at post l.c. Very ob- 
liging, comes down r. of Johns J Oh, yes, yes, of 
course — EHse, the dear child — — 

Johns. (Ignores Miss CurtisJ This isn't about 
EHse. fMiss Curtis shudders, goes to sofa L.j It's 
about the school — the general welfare of the school. 

Miss Hays, (r, of desk r.) Write us a letter 
about it, Mr. Johns, and I'm sure Miss Curtis will 
send you a prompt answer. 

Miss Curtis. (Obliging) Yes, yes, of course. 

(^Miss Curtis crosses to l. of desk l. Johns, in a 
temper, goes up — -L-CJ 

Miss Hays. (Crossing f. — l. of sofa r.) And 

now, Mr. Bevans (^Austin comes down — r. of 

c.L. of Miss Haysj You were saying you wanted 
to see your aunt's cottage? 

Austin, (l. of Miss HaysJ Yes, I'd like to 
know how soon I can move in. 

Miss Hays. (Startled for the first time) Move 
in ? You don't intend to live there ? 

Austin. I certainly do. I'd like to see that first 
and then the other buildings — and then the books 

Miss Curtis. (Flustered. Picks up ledger, holds 
it in her arms) Oh! Oh, yes — yes — the books — 
(The books) — I'm so sorry, Mr. Bevans, but you see 
the books are not quite in order. CJohns and Aus- 



6o THE CHARM SCHOOL 

TIN exchange glances,) You see Fm not an ac- 
countant. 

Austin. (Johns at r. of post L.c.j It's of no 
consequence, Miss Curtis, my lawyer will be here in 
a few minutes with an expert accountant. 

Miss Curtis. Oh, Eleanor, isn't that nice, we are 
to have an expert account — (Catches Johns' eye, as 
he is glancing at her.) — ant. (Replaces ledgers on 
desk L.J 

Austin. And now, Miss Hayes, if there are any 
special problems of the school that you would like 
to bring to me, I should be delighted to take them 
up with you. 

Miss Hays. fR.c.j One moment, Mr. Bevans, 
you don't mean that you intend personally to have 
anything to do with the management of this school? 

Austin. fR. of c.) I certainly do — with the 
organization, the finances, and the general scheme. 
You see, Miss Hays, I have some very decided views 
on the subject of the education of girls. I think 
that girls 

Johns, (f. of post l.c. — comes down l. of Aus- 
tin J I believe that I could explain Mr. Bevan's 
views to you — if you would let Miss Curtis show 
him over the buildings. 

Miss Hays. {Crossing to r. of JohnsJ Thank 
you, I prefer to hear them from Mr. Bevans, him- 
self. He can tell me as we go. (Going up d.u.l.c. 
Miss Curtis rises.) 

Austin. (Joining Miss Hays — on her r.) Cer- 
tainly. You see, Miss Hays, my idea is that girls 
should be educated to be charming (Both exit 

D.U.L.C.j 

Miss Hays. To be what? 

Austin. Educated to be charming^ (Exit 

both,) 

JOKNS. (l, fff post L.«.-*^# MlS« GlJltTIfi. Mrs€ 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 6i 

Curtis goes to him ux. of desk lJ Well, I sup- 
pose we might as well tag" along ? 

Miss Curtis. (Goes to his l.J Oh, yes, I own 
I am interested to hear Mr. Bevans' views on edu- 
cation. (Starts for door — ^Johns stops her.) 

(^Sally is seen peeking throtigh door r. — Muriel 
and the other Girls are behind her.) 

Johns. Oh, I can tell you — ^he wants girls edu- 
cated to be charming. 

Miss Curtis. Charming — ^that would be original. 
But how ? 

Johns. (Going up to d.u.l.c.J I don't know, but 
I suppose you can knock anything into their stupid 
little heads if you try hard enough. The idea is 
that (They go out, talking, d.u.l.c.J 

^Sally runs up to door, followed by Muriel, they 
look off after them, the other Girls run in, look 
at each other — ad lib. Ethel sits on sofa R. — 
Lillian goes to sofa l., sits — Alix goes R. of 
desk R. — Madge goes above desk rJ 

Muriel. (Turning to Girls J Did you ever hear 
anything like that? (Runs back to R.c.^ 

Sally. (Disapprovingly, at d.u.l.c. Looking 
off) So that's him, is it? 

Muriel. (Calling off door r.J Elise, Elise, come 
here! Something awful has happened. 

(Enter Elise door R.j 

Elise. (To l. of sofa r.) What is it? 

fLiLLiAN rises — to R. of c.) 

Muriel, (l. of EliseJ Mr. Bevans 1ms come, 

and h^'s perf««tly horrid. 



62 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Elise. What's he like? 

Muriel. Oh, he's old and he looks cross ^ 

Sally. And he's as big as a red barn. (Coming 
down L. of Muriel. Lillian sits, sofa L.) 

Muriel. And he wants us educated to be charm- 
ing. 

Elise. He doesn't think us charming already? 

Alix. (r. of desk R. — ad lib. French) Char- 
mant. Charmant, comment charment. 

Ethel. (Sitting on sofa R.) How's he going to 
do that, I should like to know. 

Muriel, (r. of c.) He doesn't know — ^but he 
says he can knock it into our stupid little heads 

Elise. What? Knock I don't like the 

sound of that at all. 

Sally, (l. of Muriel j I think that's simply in- 
sulting — what's an old feller like that know about 
being charming? 

Elise. Girls, I think we will teach that old man 
a lesson. 

Ethel. ("Madge r. of EliseJ But what shall 
we do, Elise? 

Elise. (Crossing r.c.J Let's see! What can 
we do. (Very determined.) We'll strike. 

Girls. Yes, yes. Strike! 

Alix. What is strike? 

Elise. fL.c.J Every member of the senior class 
will simply return to her home. 

Sally. That's all very well— but our parents 
would send us right straight back again. 

Elise. (To Sally — Muriel to sofa r. Madge 
a.d.r.J No, they wouldn't, Sally Boyd, not when 
we told them a horrid, cross old man was trying to 
teach us charm. My uncle wouldn't stand that for a 
minute. 

Muriel. I think we'd better put it to a vote. 

Elise. That's a good idea. fx. to l. of D.s.j 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 63 

Girls. (Ad lib.) Yes, yes, etc. fGiRLs very 
noisy — ad lib.) 

f Muriel and Ethel draw the piano bench forward 
to c. — then sit on it. Muriel on f. end. Lil- 
lian is sitting on sofa l. Alix sits on lower 
end of sofa r. Madge sits upper end of sofa 
R. Sally sits up end of sofa l.J 

Sally. (Kicking Lillian off sofa lJ Off my 
sofa, woman — oft my sofa. 

fLiLLiAN sits on bench. Elise seats herself with 
dignity and raps with paper knife, on desk lJ 

Elise. Order— order— order- 



Sally. (Lounging on sofa l.) Oh! Shush 
yourself^ 

Elise. (To Sally J I won't shush. You shush 
when I tell you to shush. Now shush. Sally, take 
your feet off the sofa, and read the minutes of the 
last meeting. 

Sally. (Coming to life) Oh, I'm awfully sorry, 
Elise, I lost 'em. 

Elise. You lost the class records? 

Sally. Yep. 

Elise. Sally, what did you do with them ? 

Sally. Well, I think I cleaned my shoes with 
them, but I'm not sure. Now, Elise, we didn't do 
anything at the last meeting that amounted to much 
anyway. I move 

Elise. (Interrupting) Kindly rise when you 
address the chair, Miss Boyd. 

Sally. (Rising reluctantly ) I move that — we 
dispense with the reading of the minutes. (Sits 
again.) 

Muriel. (Rises) Second the motion. 



64 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Girls. (To Muriel; Sit down! (Muriel sits.) 
Elise. You have heard the motion — all in 
favor 



Sally. Let's 

Girls. (Ad lib.) Aye. 

Elise. Contrary. It is carried. Treasurer's re- 
port? 

Girls. (To MurielJ You're the treasurer — get 
up — etc. 

Muriel. (Rises) I'm not the treasurer. 

(^Lillian slides down to f. end of bench as Muriel 

rises.) 

Sally. Sure you are, Muriel. 

Muriel. Oh, am I? (Steps forzvard l.cJ 
"Well, Vv^e haven't any money. 

Elise. Absolutely none, Muriel ? 

Muriel. Where would we get any from ? 

Elise. Very well. If there is no objection I will 
accept the treasurer's report as read, f Muriel goes 
to upper end of bench) Now the object of this 

m.eeting? — Oh, T forgot (Officially) Is there 

any unfinished business to come before the meet- 
ing? 

Ethel. (Sitting u. end of bench) I don't even 
know what that is. 

f Elise raps on desk for order, then raps Sally on 
head for laughing.) 

Elise. If not we will take up the question for 
which the meeting was called. Girls, shall we all 
go home? 

Girls, (Ad lib.) Qh, yes, sure. Yes— yes, etc. 

Sally. Yes-Jhs. 

Mubikl. (Tg L.C.J I d«n't mean ^ s^y kere. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL ^ 

Elise, (Rapping on desk) Oh, girls, do be more 
parliamentary. You're such a bad example to the 
younger class meetings. Will someone please make 
a motion? 

Muriel. (Crosses f. toward R.J I move we go. 

Elise. Any discussion? ("Muriel, as she is 
crossing R., gestures — 'Tm going anyway") If not, 

are you ready ("Sally gets up.) Oh, gee-whiz, 

Sally, are you going to make a speech? 

Sally. Yes, I am. 

("Lillian swings around on the bench, facing r. 
Girls ad lib.) 

Ethel. Oh, Elise, don't let Sally make a speech. 
Elise. She has a perfect right to if she wants 
to. What is it. Miss Boyd? 

("Sally bows to Elise — clenches her hands, makes 
grimace at Ethel. Elise raps on desk. Sally 
stands l.c. — gestures — spread-eagle style.) 

Sally. Well, I think this, that we must really 
stick together — not back dovv^n, you know. H we 
decide to leave- — and, of course, that's what we're go- 
ing to decide — we must stick to it whatever hap- 
pens. We must make our parents and teachers and 
this old fellow who's coming, feel that our decision 
is ir-re-^''<9<:-able. 

Muriel. (Stands f. of desk r.) Hear, hear, ir- 
re-voc-Rhle. 

Sally. We are like that man in American His- 
tory who said: "We must all hang together or we 
shall all hang separately." 

Muriel. fR.cJ Question. 

Girls. Question — question ! 

Elise. Ready for the question? It has been 



66 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

moved and seconded — was it seconded? — oh, yes, — 
that we all leave this afternoon — all those in fa 

Girls. (Ad lib.) Aye — aye 

Sally. Oh, you'd better put that in about it's 
being iv-re-voc-ahle. 

Elise. Oh, yes, and that our decision in the mat- 
ter is ir-re-z/oc-able. 

('Miss Hays enters, d.u.l.c, with a gesture of irri- 
tation, on seeing the Girls J 

Miss Hays. (Comes down r. of Sallyj What 
is this? A senior meeting? 

(The Girls all rise as they see Miss Hays, Lillian 
R.c. — Madge at sofa r. — Muriel f. of desk r. 
— Alix f. of sofa R.) 

Ethel, (r. of Miss HaysJ When did you get 
back, Miss Hays? 

Miss Hays. (Taking a very large comb out of 
Ethel's hair, takes it off stage when she goes) Oh, 
Ethel, Ethel — — (^Ethel attempts to recover it.) 

Elise, (y. of dx. — with dignity) Miss Hays, 
we have just reached an important decision. 

Sally. Yes, Miss Hays, and it's ir-re-voc-able. 

Miss Hays. Oh, Sally, Sally — that word is pro- 
nounced irrevocable. (Crosses to sofa l. — Sally 
L. of C.J 

Elise. We shouldn't have reached it. Miss Hays, 
if you had been left in charge, but we understand 
that Mr. Bevans has arrived 

Sally. (To r. of Miss Hays J And that he's 
going to teach us to be charming. 

Miss Hays. How did you hear that ? 

Sally. (Pompously) As the . say is : "111 news 
travels fast." 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 67 

Miss Hays. (Pleaded) And you girls don't ap- 
prove of that method of education? 
Omnes. Certainly not! 

(Ethel kneels on upper end of bench.) 

Elise. No, indeed, Miss Hays. We mean to 
strike — we mean to go home. 

Miss Hays. (As usual, calm) To go home! 
Well, girls, I think you had better tell that to Mr. 
Bevans himself. (The Others rather shrink at 
this, hut Elise is undaunted.) 

(Sally — Lillian — Ethel join the other girls — 
they group at and below sofa r.) 

Elise. (f. of sofa l.) I ask nothing better. 

(The Girls talk it over, do not see Austin at first 
as he enters. 'Til tell him," etc. Miss Hays 
goes toward door, u.l.c, and calls to Mr. Bev- 

ANS.J 

Miss Hays. Will you come here a moment, 
please? f Austin enters. Miss Hays is between 
him and the Girls, Austin is followed by Miss 
Curtis. She now plainly worships him. She goes 
to L. of desk L. Miss Hays r. of post l.c.J 
Mr. Bevans, you said just now that if any little 
problem arose in the school — ~ 

(PHONE.) 

Austin, (f. of post l.c. Very bland) Yes, I 
remember. 

("Elise turns to Austin, j 

Miss Hays. A little problem has arisen. In 
fact, the senior class has decided to go home in a 
body. 



eg THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Austin. Why? 

Miss Hays. They will tell you themselves. 
Girls? 

Girls. (Turning to her) Yes, Miss Hays. 
Miss Hays. This is Mr. Bevans ! 

(The Girls give various cries.) 

Sally. Ye Gods! 

Alix. (-p. of sofa R.J Oh, la, la! 

fOxHERS ad lib, except Elise, who throughout the 
scene stands silently devouring Austin with her 
eyes. Austin has a mo^nent of zveakness.) 

Austin, (l. of Miss HaysJ Oh, don't you 
think for the present, Miss Hays, it would be better 
if you dealt with this sort of thing? 

Miss Hays. (€.4^ No, indeed. This is essen- 
tially a problem for the head of the school. It is 
not easy to be the head of a school, Mr. Bevans. 
(She moves towards the staircase.) 

Austin. (Starts toward her) But you're not 
going- to leave me, are you? 

Miss Hays. (l. of staircase) Vm sure you are 
quite competent to deal with your own problems your 
own way. (Phone. She goes upstairs smiling.) 

('Elise slowly goes to Austin's l. entrance. Ethel 
comes to his R. — simpering. The other Girls 
move up R.c, toward him. The telephone rings 
on desk l. Miss Curtis anszvers it.) 

Miss Curtis. (In 'phone) Who — oh — it's for 
you, Mr. Bevans. 

Austin. (Looks from Ethel to Elise, not quite 
sure of himself. While the Girls all watch him in- 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 69 

fently. To Elise — recognises her as the girl he wet 
yesterday) How do you do. (Crosses to above desk 
L. — takes phone. Elise goes to f. of post l.c.) 

Elise. (Thinks to herself — not spoken) "That 
is the man I saw yesterday." (She stands silent, 
ivatches his every move, lips parted — she hardly 
breathes. The Girls hurry to positions and listen 
eagerly.) 

Austin. (At phone' — puts his hat on, corrects 
himself, puts hat on upper end of desk h.) Oh, 
hullo (^Elise is leaning against post l.c. Mu- 
riel goes to piano. Ethel goes to f.b.— sits. Sally 
stands R.c.i. Alix sits on sofa R. — Madge stands 
F. of desk R. — Lillian stands r. of Muriel at 
piano.) Is that you, George? — Where are you? At 
the station? Good. What's the matter with the 
school bus ? Oh, go to thunder. Use your legs ! I 
say, walk — ^yes, walk. (Listens a moment in phone, 
his expression changes to one of disapproval — shakes 
his head, at phone. He hangs up receiver.) My 
lawyer and my accountant will be here at once. 

Miss Curtis. (Standing l. of desk l. — below 
Austin j Oh, isn't that a comfort? 

Sally. (Turns to Madge— sotto voce) More 
men! 

Austin. (To l. of desk—turns to the Girls — 
picks up paper knife) Now, young ladies. 

Girls. (Very eagerly) Yes, sir. 

Austin. (Taps on desk with paper knife, "at- 
tention'') What was it you wished to say? You 
are all leaving, is that it? (Looks at Muriel.^ 
Come here 

Ethel. (Is sitting on p. bench— She leans for- 
ward — "smitten at first sight f' Simpers) Me-e? 

Austin. (To Miss Curtis j Vv'hat do I call 
them? 

Miss Curtis. / call them by their first names. 



70 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Austin. (Finally indicating Muriel — who is 
standing f. of piano) What's that one's name? 

Miss Curtis. That is Muriel Doughty. 

Austin. (Sitting l. of desk l.) Come here, 
Muriel. fMuRiEL goes to l.c. — Sally sits p.b. 
Ethel turns, facing l. j Muriel, why are you leav- 
ing? 

Muriel, (r. of u.e. of sofa L.j Leaving! 
(Looks at Girls — undecided) Oh — I did intend to 
leave, Mr. Bevans — but I've decided to stay. 

Austin. (Very serious) Why did you change 
your mind ? 

Muriel. (Opens her mouth with no answer com- 
ing. She pulls herself together and becomes very 
glib.) Oh, I didn't think I was being perfectly truth- 
ful with my parents in not letting them know that the 
school wasn't being perfectly well managed — but I 
didn't think of my duty to my school — my school at 
which I have been so long — and which has taught me 
all I know 

Sally. (Rises — to Murielj Not such a heap, 
after all, Muriel. 

Austin. (Rises — taps on desk. To Sally j Just 
a moment, young lady. 

^Alix goes to b., stands above Ethel — Sally sits — 
F. end 0/ P.B. Austin sits again.) 

Muriel. (To Sally^ I do believe in being loyal. 
(To Austin.) — And so I have decided to stay. Loy- 
alty is so important. 

f Austin motions her away by a wave of his hand. 
Muriel goes l. of Lillian front of piano.) 

Austin. (Indicating AlixJ And this young 
lady? 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 71 

Miss Curtis. This is Alix. 

Austin. (To Alix j Alix. f Alix comes to u.r. 
of sofa L. — curtsies. Austin starts to rise — but 
recovers hini'Self.) You are leaving" us? 

Alix. (Unable to express herself in English) 
Yes, sir! No, sir! I did, I mean, I was, I had, I 
mean — I 

Miss Curtis. (Tapping a chair with pencil) 
Parlez Frangais, Alix. 

Alix. (In very rapid French gestures) Enfin 
oui monsieur le proffesseur, il est vrai javais I' in- 
tention de quitter I'e'cole mais apres y avoir re'fle 
chi, jai change' d' avis. Bien zut. 

f Austin doesn't understand a word.) 

Miss Curtis. Of course, you understand French, 
Mr. Bevans? 

Austin. Was that French? 

Sally. (Stepping forward) Sit down, Alix, he 

doesn't get you ("Austin rises, taps on desk. 

Alix sits p.b.u. end.) Mr. Bevans ! 

Miss Curtis. This is Sally Boyd. 

Austin. George Boyd's sister. 

Sally. How do you do? 

Austin. (Freezes her — sits) How do you do? 
— You are leaving us, Sally? 

Sally. (Has recovered from the shock of seeing 
him) Well, Mr. Bevans, I did think it was every- 
one's duty to keep in good physical health. I have 
been brought up by my parents to believe that. 

Austin. You look as if you had acted on your 
belief, Sally. 

Sally. And when I found I wasn't getting 
enough to support life I thought it was my duty to 
go home. But on thinking it over (She stops.) 

Austin. Yes, on thinking it over? 



^2 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Sally. (Pompously — gestures) I see, Mr. Bev- 
ans, that the mind is more important than the body, 
and that if my mind is fed, I shall be quite content 
here. 

Austin. Your mind needs to be fed, Sally — 
forcibly fed — (Motions her away.) — meat. fExHEL 
rises. Sally goes to piano. Elise looks at her a 
moment, then indicates Ethel. J And this young 
lady? 

Miss Curtis. This is Ethel 

(As Ethel rises and goes to l.c. — Lillian sits on 
p.B. Muriel goes to sofa R.) 

Austin. Ethel 



Ethel. (Simpering — and ready to cry for ef- 
fect — wringing her hands) Oh, I — I thought I 
couldn't stay — I loved your dear aunt so much — ^that 

when — she died (Kneels on sofa and gradually 

leans toward Austin.) But now I see that the best 
way of paying tribute to her dear memory is to stay 
on and do the best I can for the school. (As she 
leans forward, Austin moves his hat, so she will not 
crush it, placing it on loiver end of desk l.) 

Miss Curtis. (Affected) Oh, isn't that a beau- 
tiful thought? 

Austin. (To Miss Curtis j There is great 
power of invention in the senior class, Miss Curtis. 

Miss Curtis. (Shocked) I know you don't 
mean it, but I fear you are giving the girls the im- 
pression that you don't quite believe what they 

say ('Ethel rises, goes to R. of Elise. Miss 

Curtis going up back of Austin to l. of post uc.) 
Shall I — shall I dismiss them to their study now? 

Austin. (Rises) No, I want to say a word to 
them first (Takes off his coat, lays it on l.u.e. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 73 

of sofa L. — Looks at Elise — goes l. of desk lJ 
Young ladies — — 

Girls. (Very quickly and eagerly) Yes, sir! 

fELiSE is at post L.c. Miss Curtis at l. of post 
L.c. — -Ethel between Elise and Sally — Sally 
A.p.B. — ^Alix sitting — p.b. — lower end. — Mu- 
riel R.p.B. Lillian sitting p.b. — Madge r.c.i.r. 
— Austin stands l. of desk l,) 

Austin. (Taps quickly on desk ''Attention!' As 
he speaks he puts his thumbs in the armholes of his 
vest) Let me give you a piece of advice that you 
will find very useful in future life. When you want 
people to believe anything that isn't true, don't be 
too terribly sincere about it, and above all don't be 
so infernally glib. (Looks down, sees where his 
hands are and corrects his position,) Everyone of 
you ought to take a course in listening to an office- 
boy trying to get av/ay to a baseball game. There's 
a look of almost divine innocence that comes over 
his face — ^it's been on everyone of your faces for the 
last ten minutes. 

Muriel. (Standing r.c.l.— with a look of inno- 
cence) Mr. Bevans, I hope you don't mean that 
you don't believe us? 

Austin. Muriel, thank Heavens, I have some 
comm.on sense, and I know quite well that there isn't 
a word of truth — not one — in all you have been say- 
ing. 

Muriel. Oh, Mr. Bevans! 

Austin. (Tapping on desk) Muriel! I don't 
know what you have really been up to — why you 
wanted to go — or v/hy you mean to stay. But it's all 
right. You're going to stay. That will be all, Miss 
Curtis. 

^Ethel moves toward Austin, who quickly re- 



74 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

moves hat from top of desk. Girls ad lib, 
smother "Oh!") 

Miss Curtis. Come, girls. ("Miss Curtis sends 
them out door r. — closing the door. Elise does not 
go off with the girls hut holds her position at the 
post. — She has never once re'inoved her eyes from 
Austin, standing as though in a trance. Austin 
takes up his coat and hat — looks at Elise, turns to- 
ward door L. — Miss Curtis re-enters — sees that 
Elise is watching Austin closely. Miss Curtis 
goes to Elise, touches her arm.) Elise, my dear! 
('Elise starts as though waking up. Miss Curtis 
motions her to go with other Girls. Elise crosses 
quickly to door r. — eyes still on Austin. J Oh, Mr. 

Bevans f Austin replaces the hat and coat on 

the sofa and comes down l.c. Miss Curtis is l. 
of p.B. Elise, as soon as Miss Curtis's back is 
turned, slips up the stairs, hides out of sight until 
Miss Curtis's exit.) I'm so sorry to bother you, so 
soon, but would you mind seeing Sally and Muriel — 
they are so distressed — ^poor dears. You see, they 
feel you don't quite believe what they said, and they 
want to explain 

Austin, (r. of sofa L.) No, Miss Curtis. 

Miss Curtis, (l. of p. bench — Surprised) No? 
But they only want to explain. 

Austin. They're great little explainers. I must 
make it a point never to see the girls individually. 
All such matters I leave to you and Miss Hays. 

Miss Curtis. Oh, how right you are, how right 
you are. — They will be terribly dis — (As she turns 
to go R. she stumbles over the piano bench in her 
confusion, crossing F. to door r.) — tressed — poor 

dears, but I'll tell them (She goes off, shaking 

her head, murmuring at door r., turns to him.) How 
right you are! 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 75 

f Austin goes to sofa l. — picks up hat and coat, goes 
toward door l. Looks after Miss Curtis. 
'"Rather a peculiar person/' As soon as Miss 
Curtis is gone, Elise, who has been hiding 
upstairs, comes down.) 

Elise. (f. of post L.cJ Mr. Bevans, may I 
speak to you ? 

Austin. (Coming back, to above sofa) No ! 
(Turns toward door l.J 

Elise. I beg your pardon, sir, but did you say, 
did you say, No ? 

Austin. Yes. 

Elise. Just for a moment, please? 

Austin. (Comes to above desk l.J Anything 
you have to say to me can be said to Miss Hays — or 
your parents. 

Elise. (Goes to l. of post l.c.J But, sir, — I 
haven't any parents. I'm an orphan. 

Austin. (To l. of post l.c.J So am I. 

Elise. Isn't that strange? That we should both 
be orphans ? It's terribly lonely sometimes, being an 
orphan, isn't it ? 

i\usTiN. (Lays coat and hat on sofa — goes to l. 
of desk) What was it you wished to speak to me 
about, Miss Benedotti? 

Elise. (Hurt) Oh! Mr. Bevans. (Kneels on 
sofa L. j 

Austin. What's the matter? 

Elise. You called Ethel and Muriel and Sally by 
their first names. 

Austin. (With his hand on the desk, leans 
slightly forward. Convicted of making a difference) 
Yes, I know — but I seem to have forgotten what 
your first name is. 

Elise. (Kneeling on sofa l., leans forward) 
Elise, 



y6 THE CHARM SCHOOL 
Austin. Oh 



Elise. Won't you please say it for me? 

Austin. (Softly) Elise. 

Elise. Oh, thank you, sir. Isn't it a pretty 
name? I never knew how nice it was before. 

Austin. (Severely; sits) Elise, what was it you 
wished to speak to me about ? 

Elise. (As she is about to sit on upper arm of 
the sofa, she feels Austin's hat under her. She 
takes it up and holds it in her arms while she speaks, 
sitting on arm) Oh ! 

Austin. I should have worn a cap. 

Elise. I'm so sorry Oh! This. The rea- 
son I changed my mind about staying at school. 

Austin, ("l. of desk) You had made up your 
mind to go, too? 

Elise. Yes — ^but I changed it 

Austin. Because you thought it more loyal, or 
because you found the mind was more important 
than the body — or because you wished to pay a trib- 
ute to my dear aunt's memory. 

Elise. (Solemnly) No, sir — ^because you're 
here. 

Austin. (Trying to he a schoolmaster) My 
dear child, you must learn not to be quite so per- 
sonal in your judgments. This school is a good 
school whether I'm here or not. 

Elise. Yes, I know, sir, but I only wanted to 
stay after you came. 

Austin. Well, it wasn't necessary for you to 
come here and tell me that. 

Elise. Oh, yes, it was — I didn't want you to 
think I was making up stories like Muriel and Sally 
— I wanted to tell you the truth. (Miss Curtis en- 
ters door R. in time to hear the last words, carrying 
three composition hooks.) You mustn't scold me for 
that. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 7; 

^Miss Curtis goes to r. of desk r., lays hooks down 
there which she has brought in.) 

Miss Curtis. Scold you! (Crossing to Elise, 
places her arm about her.) Why, Mr. Bevans, this 
is Elise Benedotti, one of our dearest girls. I'm 
sure there's nothing you need scold her for unless 
perhaps it is her hand- 

Austin. Her hand — what's the matter with it? 

Miss Curtis. Her handwriting, I mean. It is 
not always legible, so her writing teacher reports. 
And her punctuation and spelling are not all they 
ought to be. 

Austin. I'm sorry to hear it. I want every one 
of my girls to write a legible, correct note. I tell 

you what you do ('Elise hurries to sofa l., 

kneels.) You write a note to Miss Curtis, every day 
from now till the end of the term and she'll correct 
it and return it to you. 

Miss Curtis, ^r. of Elise, horrified) Oh, no, 
not to me, please, Mr. Bevans. You see, I'm only 
the school secretary, and I'm not very accurate my- 
self. 

Elise. (l. of p.b.J Oh, no, I wrote a note once 
to Miss Curtis, and I spelt hope, h-o-p, and she 
never noticed it. Did you, Miss Curtis? 

Miss Curtis. (Laughs, confused) No-o! 

Austin. She was too kind-hearted to mention it 

probably f Miss. Curtis — happy that Austin 

speaks so nicety of her — smiles, self-consciously, 
places her hand to her face. ''She vAust he blush- 
ing" and crosses — bench bus. — F. to R. of desk r. — 
sits.) Write to Miss Hays, then. (Goes above desk 
to pick up hat and coat.) 

Elise. (Goes to him) Mr. Bevans, you — ^you 
wouldn't be too kind-hearted, would you, sir ? 

Austin. I ? 



78 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Elise. (e. of post) I mean if I wrote those notes 
to you — instead of Miss Hays — ^you would be much 
severer than Miss Hays, and Vm sure I should 
learn a great deal more if I wrote them to you. 

Austin. To me ? 

Elise. Would it be too much bother? 

Austin. It wouldn't be any bother at all. (Cor- 
recting himself.) I mean — I'm thinking what would 
do you most good. 

Elise. (u of post) It would do me most good 
to write to you. 

Austin. Write to me, then. 

Elise. Oh, thank you, sir. 

Austin. (Takes up his coat and hat, after a 
pause in a more severe manner) And I v/ill correct 
your notes and return them to you. (Turns totvard 
door L.) 

Elise. (Moving toward R.c.j Oh, thank you, 
sir, thank you, so much. (Comes back.) Oh, Mr. 
Bevans, but what shall I write about ? 

Austin. (Turns, comes to l. of post) Anything 
you're thinking about. 

Elise. (f. of post L.c.j Or any person? 

Austin, (l. of Elise) Or any person. 

Elise. (f. of post) Even if it were always — 
the — same — ^person ? 

Miss Curtis. (Busy working on her books) 
Why, Elise, you wouldn't always be thinking about 
the same person, would you? 

Elise. Oh, yes, I would. 

(As they stand looking at each other, Miss Hays 
enters — down the stairs r.) 

Miss Hays. (Coming to c.) Well, Mr. Bevans, 
have you solved your little problem? 

Austin. (Who has forgotten all about it) 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 79 

What? Oh (Lays coat and hat on u.e. of 

sofa — comes down to l. of desk.) The senior strike? 
Oh, yes, there was nothing to that. 

("Miss Hays looks disappointed, catches Elise's eye. 
Motions her to go upstairs. Elise, guilty — 
caught talking to Mr. Bevans, catches Aus- 
tin's eye — crosses a. — Exit r.u.- — the stairs — 
Miss Hays zuatches her off.) 

Miss Curtis. (Rises — goes to r. of p.bJ Oh, 
Eleanor, I wish you could have heard Mr. Bevans. 
The moment he spoke to the girls they realized how 
wrong they were. Even Muriel felt she had been 
disloyal to the school. She spoke so beautifully, with 
tears in her voice. 

Miss Hays, fL. of p.b. Disgusted) You mean, 
they all backed down ? 

Miss Curtis. At once — oh, they were a little 
afraid of Mr. Bevans — say what you will. 

Austin. (Crossing slowly to l. of bench) I 
understand you're not much of a believer in men, 
Miss Hays. 

Miss Hays. fL. of p. hench) Vm not a blind 
admirer of your sex, Mr. Bevans. 

Miss Curtis, ^r. of p. bench) But I do think 
that girls will listen to a man sometimes when they 
wouldn't listen to another woman. 

Austin, ^l. of Miss HaysJ Exactly. Those 
are the very ideas on which our new plans were 
founded. 

Miss Hays. Our plans? Your plans, Mr. Bev- 
ans. 

Austin. Do you mean that you are not in sym- 
pathy with my ideas of education? 

Miss Hays. The idea that girls should be taught 
to be charming? Certainly not. (Crossing to r. 



So THE CHARM SCHOOL 

of desk R. Miss Curtis goes to f. of piano.) They 
think too much about it already. In fact, Mr. Bev- 
ans, I may as well be quite frank with you, I don't 
approve of your presence here at all. 

Miss Curtis. Oh, Eleanor — fL. of post R.J— 
Please don't say that. 

Miss Hays. ^r. of desk R.J I believe it will 
ruin the school, and if you will take that statement 
as my resignation, why 

Austin. No, I won't. (Crossing to r.c.J I 
don't want you to resign. Mr, Johns and I are 
fully agreed that you should remain — as second in 
command. 

Miss Hays. Mr. Johns? Was this all Mr. 
Johns' plan ? 

Austin. (Trying to he flattering) Mr. Johns 
thinks very highly of you, Miss Hays. 

Miss Hays. (Looks at him) Really? 

Austin. As an educator. 

Miss Hays. Oh, does he, indeed? 

Johns. (Voice heard outside door l. — he en- 
ters, shouting, comes down L. of p.b. Miss Curtis 
starts to post r.cJ Well — how much longer am I 
to be kept kicking my heels in there? Come on, 
Bevans — ("Austin crosses a. — picks up his coat and 
hat — puts on the coat — goes do7Jun l. of desk L. to y.) 
— I want to be getting back to town. (He suddenly 
thinks he'll try it once more with Miss Hays.J Oh, 
Miss Hays, before I go, could I have just a word 
with you about the general policy of the school? 

Miss Hays. ("r. of desk r.J I have nothing to 
do with the general policy of the school, Mr. Johns, 
I am only second in command. 

Johns. (Crossing to sofa R. j If you would just 
let me say a word to you in private 

^Miss Curtis starts upstairs,) 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 8i 

Miss Hays. Theodosia! Don't go (Miss 

Curtis stops. To Johns, sarcastically indicating 
Austin.) Say it to the gentleman you have se- 
lected for the head of this school. 

Johns. But that's just it, you don't understand! 

f Miss Hays turns from him. Enter George d.u.l.c. 
wearing an overcoat— Jo'Si'^s turns up R.c.^ 

George. (Comes down R. of Austin— L.c.j 
Austin, have you known how far it is from here to 

the station ? ,1,11 

Austin. Miss Hays, this is my head bookkeeper, 

Mr. Boyd, and Miss Curtis. 

CElise enters— down the stairs R. Crosses above 
Johns to his u) 

George. (Bowing to them) How do you do? 

fMiss Curtis comes down R.c, bows to him.) 

Miss Hays. How do you do? 
Miss Curtis. (Turns to Miss Haysj A book- 
keeper ! 

("David enters d. v. L.c— wearing overcoat. George 
sees Elise and hurries ta her, shakes hands.) 

DA.VID. (Coming down r. of Austin, turns down 
trousers) If I had known I had to climb a hillside 
I wouldn't have worn my Sunday clothes ! (Fixes 

trousers ) 

Austin, (f. of sofa L.j My lawyer, Mr. Mac- 
Kensie, Miss Hays, Miss Curtis. (Turns, going 

F. of desk L. j , , TT 1 A :> 

David. (Bowing to them) How do you doj' 



82 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

CMiss Curtis hows to him, goes abcuve desk rJ 

Miss Hays. How do you do? 

('David goes to Johns and Elise up r. of c. — 

Shakes hands with Johns.^ 

Austin. (Turning, sees George and Elise to- 
gether) George, George! I wish you would go 
over the books and draw off a trial balance ! 
('Twins enter d.u.l.c. — wearing overcoats — ^Jim r. 
of Tim. George crosses a. to l. of desk l. Sits. 
To Twins. J Who told you to come? 

Jim. (Comes down'L.c.) Oh, Austin! Haven *t 
you got a job for us? 

Tim. (Comes to above sofa h.) We don't want 
to go back to Poughkeepsie ! 

(At this moment there is a repetition of the racket 
made by the furnace man. Sally rushes on — 
down the stairs — followed by Lillian, Alix, 
Madge, appearing at door r. j 

Sally. Miss Hays, Miss Hays. ('Twins turn, 
see Sally— smile.) The furnace man has come to 
and he's chasing the cook all over the laundry with a 
pitchfork ! 

Austin. Cf. of desk l.) There you are, Twins ! 
('Sally turns, sees Twins, smiles and goes slozvly to- 
ward them.) Go and rescue the cook! (They do 
not hear him.) Twins! (They turn to him.) The 
cook! (They turn reluctantly from Sally, go to- 
ward door u.L.c. — still looking at her — ^Tim slowly 
exits — Jim stays at l. of post l.c. — watching Sally. 
Austin follows them up l.c.J 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 83 

Miss Curtis. (Above desk r,) Oh, Eleanor, 
isn^t it a comfort to have a man in the house? 

f Austin turns to Miss Curtis, sees Elise stand- 
ing in front of him and above bench.) 



CURTAIN 



ACT II 

Scene II : Same as Scene One. Two weeks later. 
The Boys are in Austin's office zvaiting for 
him. There is a gardenia on his desk. 

Tim at piano playing softly, Georgei looks at 
watch, then at door l.) 

David. (Sitting on sofa r. Rises, goes to l. of 
post L.c, glancing at watch) 1 wonder what's keep- 
ing Austin ? 

George. (Sifting sofa l.) I have a class in ten 
minutes. (Takes out a cigarette case.) 

David. (Coming to c.2) George, no smoking" in 
study hours. ('George puts it back.) I've a lot of 
work on that history course of mine. (r. of desk 
r. — sits.) 

George. History course! I thought you had 
given it up. 

Jim. (Leaning against r. of piano) He give it 
up? Not much! It's the girls who are giving it 
up. 

David. The poor creatures are not accustomed 
to working their minds. They send a delegation to 
Austin every day to ask to be allowed to drop it. 
(Goes to desk r. j 

Jim. That's funny, my dancing class is simply 
crowded. ("David sits chair R.) It's the personality 
of the instructor that really counts, David. 

David. You go to blazes 

Jim. David ! David ! 

David. Well, that's not language for a professor, 

S4 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 85 

but the reason your class is more popular than mine 
is that girls would rather use their feet than their 
heads. 

Tim. (Boastfully — Crossing to desk r.) Well, 
look at my special lectures — one hundred per cent 
attendance and last week when Tappe was lecturing 
on the philosophy of head g"ear there wasn't an empty 
seat 

David. Aye — ^but many empty heads. 

(^Muriel and Ethel enter, coming downstairs r., 
each carrying her history paper.) 

Muriel. Good morning, Professor, 

David. Good morning, young ladies. 

Muriel. (To Boys J Good morning. 

Boys. Good morning. 

George. Good morning (Davtd taps on 

desk.) 

Muriel. My history paper, Professor. 

David. (Taking paper) Thank you. 

Muriel. You're quite welcome. (Goes up and to 
door R. — Tim opens door — she exits.) Thank you, 
Professor. 

Ethel. Good morning, Professor. 

David. Good morning 

Ethel. (To BoysJ Good morning. 

Boys. Good morning. 

George. Good morning. (Ethel hands paper 
to David. ^ 

David. Thank you. 

Ethel. It's a pleasure. (Goes to door r. Tim 
opens door for her. She exits giggling.) 

Tim. Did you ever see girls so improved ? 

David. Improved ! Oh, my word. 

George. All, except poor old Sally. 

Tim. Oh, it would be a pity to change Sally. 



86 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

George. Pity, why you couldn't do it. 

Tim. What? 

George. (Rises) Oh, well, Sally's all right, but 
she isn't much on looks 

Twins. Not much on looks ! f Jim crosses to sofa 
L. — Tim sits at piano.) Why, you poor fish 

George. You don't think her good-looking, do 
you? 

Twins. I certainly do. fJiM sits sofa L,) 

George. Well, let me tell you, she's no heiress, 
but speaking of improvement, have you noticed Miss 
Curtis ? 

Tim. Did you ever see anything as alluring as 

Aliss Curtis? Why, she has a new dress on 

f George whistles, ''Look Out, She's Coming") 

("Miss Curtis enters d.u.l.c. — she is very tastefully 
dressed and her hair is quite beautifully done. 
She has a hunch of flowers in her hand.) 

Miss Curtis. Good morning, Professors. 

Omnes. Good morning, Miss Curtis — etc. (^Jim 
rises, goes to sofa l. David half rises, tries to look 
at her around George, who is standing in between 
them. Miss Curtis also tries to look at David.) 

David. Good morning, Miss Curtis. 

Miss Curtis. Good morning. (^George looks at 
David, then moves up c. Comes down l. of desk L. 
— looks with disfavor at the gardenia.) Does this 
gardenia belong to any of you gentlemen? ('Boys 
shake their heads. Takes it out of its bo7jol — Crosses 
A. — and lays it on upper end of piano — Tim picks it 
up, shows it to George and places it on lozver end of 
piano — Jim goes tip toward d.u.l.c.J It has such a 
heav3% disagreeable perfume, I always think. I'm 
sure Mr. Bevans can't like it. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL S7 

George. (Insinuatingly) I notice it's there every 
morning. 

Miss Curtis. (Crossing a. to l. of desk l.J Yes, 
I always take it away— it must give him a head- 
ache. CJiM to R. of post L.C.J 

George. He always brings it back. 

Miss Curtis. (Sighing) Yes, I believe he does. 

George. (Rises — more pointedly) I wonder 
where it comes from. (Goes above piano.) 

Miss Curtis. (Tossing her head) I haven't the 
least idea. Some silly girl, I suppose. (Sits l. of 
desk — puts her own flowers in the howl. George 
looks at David — "I know" — goes up c.) 

David. (Half rising, looking around George zvho 
is c.) Miss Curtis, could you tell us why Mr. Bev- 
ans has called us together this morning ? 

Miss Curtis. I have no idea. Professor Mac- 
Kenzie — I*m only his secretary, you know. He'll be 
here immediately. 

Jim. (Leaning against f. of post l.c.J I bet it's 
a calldown for someone. I hope it's not me, this 
time. 

George. (Looks at wrist watch — going to sofa 
L.) I don't think he has any right to keep us wait- 
ing like this. 

Miss Curtis. (Pleadingly) Ah, Professor 
Boyd, he has so much on his mind, so many calls on 
his time and attention, that really sometimes, I don't 
see how he gets through the day. Do you know he 
was up at six o'clock this morning, taking the fur- 
nace man to the priest to sign the pledge not to beat 
his wife any more — no one but Mr. Bevans could 
make him go. And then there were five parents 
here insisting on seeing him — ^parents are so incon- 
siderate, I always think 

Jim. (r. of post l.c.) You certainly said some- 
thing that time. 



88 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Miss Curtis, f George to l. of piano. Crossing 
to A. desk ivith pad of the reports — places one on 
desk R. — Crosses DavidJ And then the decorators 
and the carpenters, and I hope you won't mind my 
saying so, Professor MacKenzie, but a great deal of 
his time is wasted by delegations of pupils who want 
to drop your history class. 

(^Austin enters — door l. — goes to L. of desk L.J 

Austin. I'm sorry to keep you waiting, gentle- 
m.en. I wanted to gtt a report from the doctor. 
Miss Hays was afraid we had a scarlet fever case, 
but it turned out to be nothing but indigestion. 
(Sits L. of desk L. j 

Miss Curtis. (Stands at sofa r. — Crosses to 
sofa L.J Oh, wasn't that fortunate 

Austin. That will be all, Miss Curtis. 

(^Miss Curtis,, ^^crushed," crosses and exits door r. 
Tim goes slowly toward r.u. — ^Jim sits at piano, 
slowly hitting the same low key. Austin sits 
down at desk, hut his eye begins roving about, 
looking for gardenia. He sees it on the piano, 
he crosses y., gets the gardenia — Tim stops 
striking the key — The Boys all zvatch Austin 
as he returns to hi^ desk l. — placing the gar- 
denia on the desk (he does not put it back in 
the bowl) . The Boys exchange knowing glances 
except David. George makes up his mind to 
have an understanding zmth Austin — starts to- 
ward him.) 

George. Say, look here 

David. (Rises quickly — seeing George's inten- 
tion — Crosses f. to above desk L.j Austin. They 
are all trying to drop my history course. Now, it's 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 89 

a splendid course. (Going above sofa l. Tim goes 
down R. of R. desk.) 

Austin. (Sitting at desk l.) It's a corker, Dave. 
I mean, it is an excellent course, and I won't let one 
of 'em drop it. (Rises.) Gentlemen, one of you 
has been taking a pupil to the movies. (They all 
turn to him.) 

Jim and Tim. fJiM comes down to c.2— -Tim 
goes to F. of sofa r.) I can explain it, Austin. (To 
each other — Tim goes R. of JiM.j What, did you 
take a girl to the movies? 

Austin. Explain it, then. 

Jim. (l. of Tim) Well — I feel that the mcnes 
are one of the great modern methods of education, 
and when I found one of my pupils had never been 
to the movies — I 

George. (Laughing — at R. of post l.c.J Oh, go 
on, where would you find a girl nowadays that hadn't 
been to the movies ? 

Austin. (Reproving) George^ 

Jim. I thought it was m.y duty to have her go — - — 

Tim. (Crossing to sofa l.J I didn't think a 
clever girl like Sally ought to grow up 

Jim. Sally ! Was Sally the girl you took to the 
movies ? 

George. (With a shout— comes down — between 
them) Sally, and did she tell you she'd never been? 
(Laughs.) Pretty good! She's been going regu- 
larly ever since she v/as born. 

Austin. I should think you fellows could see 
that it isn't square to me. It's so cheap to behave 
like that. That's just what everyone would say 
would happen — turn five men loose in a girl's school 
and they'd all be making love to the pupils 

David. Not me, Austin. I swear it. (''Boys look 
at David, j 

Austin. Oh, I know you didn't mean any harm, 



90 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

but that sort of thing must not happen. And by 
Heaven, it sha'n't. 

CDavid goes up lxJ 

Jim. (Crossing to sofa l. — Tim goes up to R. of 
post L.c. — George steps down c.) Oh, very well, 
very well, but how about you yourself ? How about 
these continual flowers on teacher's desk? 

Austin. These ? Why, these are out of my own 
garden. Miss Curtis is kind enough to bring them 
in every 

Jim. Yes, but that gardenia is not out of your 
own garden and Miss Curtis doesn't bring that in 
every day. 

Austin. I don't know where that comes from. 

Jim. You haven't happened to notice any of the 
pupils who wear gardenias ? 

Austin. No. 1 don't notice that sort of thing. 

Jim. (Slamming his hand on desk) Well, then, 
let me tell you 

Austin. (Rises) Jim, you have more important 
jobs than to stand here gossipping about flowers, 
f Jim tttrns angrily toward door r. Tim goes toward 
door v.L.c.) Jim, there's a telegram from Lucille. 
f Jim goes tozvard door u.l.c. — George starts toward 
door R. j Wait, George. fGEORGE comes down r.c. 
to front of sofa R J 

Tim. (As they exit door u.l.c.^ I didn't know 
you took Sally to the movies. 

Jim. When did you take Sally to the movies? 

('David starts to x. to desk r , picks up some papers.) 

Austin. You wait, too, David. ('David replaces 
papers — returns to a. — sofa l.) Now, I don't want 
to be unjust, George. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 91 

George. (Is just sitting on f. arm of sofa r. — 
Rises quickly) Unjust to me? What have I been 
doing" ? 

Austin. George, you hang about the halls when- 
ever Elise Benedotti is changing classes. 

George. (At f. sofa r.) Sure, I do. 

Austin. Well, that isn't right. I know you're 
in love with her, and Heaven knows it's natural 

George. Do you think it's natural to be in love 
with her, too? 

Austin. Yes— no! You didn't let me finish. 
What I meant to say v/as that being in love with 
her, it's natural that you should want to speak to 
her. But you mustn't. It's breaking the pledge you 
gave me when I offered you the job. Isn't it, David? 

David, ^a. sofa l.) In my opinion, it is. 

George. What do you suppose I came here for 
at all, but to see Elise? 

Austin. To see her — to be near her, but not to 
speak to her. 

f David at desk l.) 

George. Well, I hardly spoke to her, I just said, 
"Oh, Elise, won't you marry me?" 

Austin. (Too much interested) And what did 
she say? 

George. (Smiling happily) She said: "Oh, 
George, don't be tiresome !" 

Austin. (Relieved) Now, don't you see how 
wrong that is? — I consider it a point of honor with 
all of us not to have the least personal communica- 
tion with any of the pupils (Enter Miss Cur- 
tis door r. — She has a letter in her hand.) None, 
do you understand? f George starts to speak.) 
None ! ("George goes up to r. of post l.c. Austin 
sits.) 



92 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Miss Curtis. (To post r.cJ Excuse me for in- 
terrupting-, but this is Eiise's letter. 

George. (Turns quickly, r. of post l.cJ Elise's 
letter ! 

Austin. (Coldly — is sitting l. of desk L.J Put 
it on the desk, please. 

Miss Curtis. (Crossing to desk l., lays the let- 
ter on the desk — as she crosses George comes down 
on her R.J Yes, her daily letter. She's so punctual 
about it, dear child. Every morning at nine it's al- 
v/ays, "Miss Curtis, will you give this to Mr. Bev- 
ans, please?" She never misses — - — 

Austin. That will be all. Miss Curtis 



Miss Curtis. (Starts to take the gardenia) Mr. 
Bevans, wouldn't you like me to take that gardenia 
away ? 

Austin. That will be all, Miss Curtis. 

Miss Curtis. (Crosses to R.c.j Such a heavy 
perfume. I didn't know but it might give him — 
(Exiting door R. — muttering) — a headache 

George. (To sofa l.) No personal communica- 
tion with any of the pupils, eh? — Oh, no! 

Austin, (i.. of desk l. — takes the letter, starts 
to open it) This is an exercise in English composi- 
tion. 

George. (Turns to c.i.J Ah-h 

David. (At desk L.J Yes, I can tell from her 
history papers that her writing, spelling, and punc- 
tuation are very defective. 

George. (Angrily — to sofa L.J Are they, in- 
deed? Well, I never found them so. I think her 
letters are perfect — only she hardly ever writes to 
me. But to you she writes every morning — every 
morning — 'at nine o'clock. 

Austin. George, you don't mean you doubt my 
word v/hen I tell you that this letter is merely an 
English exercise? 




CO 

CO 

<» 
CO 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 93 

George. (Turns to l. of c. Back to audience) 
Of course, I doubt it. 

David. George, how can you? 

Austin. (Hands letter to DavidJ Read it, 
Dave. ('David starts to read it to himself.) 

David. Out loud? 

Austin. Of course. 

David. Now, George, you*ll be sorry for what 
you said. (Reading.) "Dear Mr. Bevans : Did you 
see the moon last night?" 

George, (c.) Hy ! 

(During the reading, George keeps trying to catch 
Austin's eye to show zvhat he thinks of the let- 
ter, while Austin remains detached, looking 
steadily front.) 

David. "It came out suddenly from a black cloud 
with silver edges." (Speaking.) Now that's pret- 
tily put. 

George. Yes-r 

David. (Reading) "It must have shone in at 
your window. I watched it a very long time, and 
hoped that you were not missing such a very lovely 
sight." 

Austin. (Calmly— looking f.) She used "very" 
too much. 

David. (Reading) "You can't imagine how my 
love of poetry has increased in the last few weeks. 
We are reading Shelty now, and some of his lines 
ring in my head day and n'ght. *I never thought 
before my death to see youth's vision thus made 
perfect.' " 

George. Gu ! (Goes to sofa r. j 

David. "I say that over and over to myself. Re- 
spectfully yours, Elise." 

George, (l. of c.i.j Elise! 



94 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

David. Now, I call that a very good letter — 
though she should not spell hope with two p's. 
Austin. Make a note of it, will you ? 

('David takes pencil from desk l., makes note on 

letter.) 

George. Why, it's a love letter. 
David. Why, man, you're crazy. There isn't a 
word of love in it. 

('Austin rises, takes the letter- — looks at it,) 

George. (To sofa l.J There is, there is, too. 
Don't you see when she says "Youth's vision made 
perfect," she means Austin? 

Austin. Me? Vv^hy, George, don't be absurd. 

George. (At r. end of sofa l.} And what about 
the moon, too— — 

(Enter Miss Curtis door R.j 

Miss Curtis. (Comes to post R.c.j Oh, excuse 
me for interrupting you again, Mr. Bevans. But 
Professor McKenzie's course in Constitutional His- 
tory has been waiting fifteen minutes — f David 
crosses.) — and they're getting so impatient. 

David. (Crossing quickly to door R.J Impa- 
tient for my course, do you hear that, Austin? 
(Exit door R. George goes up x.c. j 

Miss Curtis. And Prof. Boyd's class in book- 
keeping — is waiting also. 

George. (Glares at Austin, then goes out after 
David, door r.J Moon! 

f Austin stops Miss Curtis, who has started for 

the door.) 

Austin. (Comes f. to l. of c.i. — Miss Curtis 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 95 

goes to his r. Puts letter in breast pocket) Miss 
Curtis, when Mr. Boyd gives his individual instruc- 
tions in bookkeeping, you are always present — aren't 
you? 

Miss Curtis. Oh, yes, yes — ^indeed, Tm always 
there. 

Austin. Just how does he proceed? 

Miss Curtis. Once a week he gives a lecture on 
the general theory, and then he takes each girl aside 
for about ten minutes and shows her how to balance 
her bank book, or to draw checks. Such a helpful 
course I always think. 

Austin. Where has he been giving it ? 

Miss Curtis. In my little office. 

Austin. In the future, I prefer to have him give 
it here. Go now and tell him to finish the hour here. 

(^Miss Curtis goes to door r., turns, looks at him — 
smiles, exits. Austin goes to u.r. end of sofa 
L., picks up gardenia and stands looking at it — 
Elise enters r. down the stairs, wearing a gar- 
denia.) 

Elise. Mr. Bevans 

Austin. fu.R. end of sofa — very severe) Elise, 
you know perfectly well, it's against the rules for 
you to come here like this. 

Elise. Yes, I know, sir, but — do you like gar- 
denias? 

Austin. (Firmly) No. 

Elise. No ? 

Austin. The perfume is too heavy. 

Elise. (Goes to e. of sofa r. — throws it into 
waste-basket) There, then! 

Austin, (Hides his in drawer of desk h.) Now, 
Elise, you must go. (To l. of desk i^.) 



96 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Elise. (Crossing to sofa lJ But, Mr. Bevans, 
I want to speak to you about my letter. 

Austin, (l. of desk h.) Your letter? 

Elise. Didn't you receive my letter this morn- 
ing? 

Austin. Oh, yes, I believe I did. (Pretends to 
look for it on the desk.) 

Elise. Perhaps you put it in your pocket. 

Austin. Yes, perhaps I did. (Goes throtigh his 
breast pocket, and at last reluctantly produces it. — 
He takes the letter out and reads it — Elise watches 
hi'M out of the corner of her eye.) 

Elise. You see, I spelled a word wrong. Oh, 
Mr. Bevans — don't you think that is a wonderful 
hne? (She recalls.) "I never thought before my 
death to see youth's vision thus made perfect." 

Austin. (Reading the letter — comes to f. and 
sits up F. arm of sofa L.J It's all right, now, Elise, 
run along. 

Elise. (Sits on sofa l. — close to him) Do you 
mind very much if I sit here? 

Austin, No, not at all. (Rises — still reading 
the letter and crosses to sofa r. — sits on f. arm.) 

Elise. (Sits sofa l.J Do you suppose that's the 
way everyone feels when they fall in love? 

Austin. Go to your class. 

Elise. (Rises, crosses to him) Just one mo- 
ment, Mr. Bevans. Don't you think Shelley is a 
wonderful poet? 

Austin. (Rises, going up r. of desk r. — to door 
R.J Leave this room. 

Elise. (Runs to door ix., stands with her hack 
against it) Just a moment — just a moment, please. 

Austin. Elise, you must go. 

Elise. (Very sweetly) Well, you can't exactly 
put me out, can you ? ? 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 97 

Austin. Why can't I? I will, too, if you don't 
go yourself. 

Elise. Well, I'm not going myself, am I? 
Austin. All right, then 

(Puts his hands on her shoulders to shove her out 
when the door opens quickly — pushing Elise 
into Austin's arms — he cacches her to save her 
from falling. George hurries in, sees Elise in 
Austin's arms, and throzvs ledger on floor 
ahove sofa r. Stands glaring at them. Aus- 
tin unconsciously still keeps his arms about 
Elise— wo^ holding her to him hut his arms are 
rather awkwardly outstretched.) 

Austin. What — what do you mean by breaking 
into a room like that? 

George, ('f, of stairs — sarcastic) I'm very sorry, 
but, of course, I thought you were alone. 

Austin, (Realizing his position — angrily crosses 
down R. of desk, crosses to l. of l.c.) Why the 
deuce should you think I was alone ? 

('Elise crosses ahove to piano.) 

George. (Picks up ledger. Crossing to R. of 
desk R.) Because, you said — -because, I understood 
— because, it's against the rules to see pupils 
alone 

Austin. You don't seem to understand that you 
nearly knocked this young lady down — -bursting open 
the door like that. 

Elise. (c.^ — with a lovely smile) Oh, I don't 
mind what happened. , 

(^George shuts the account book he carries — "hang," 
glares at them. Elise startled, sits on piano 
bench.) 



98 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Austin. (Looks at Elise — goes to f. of desk 
L. — turns to George J What are you doing here, 
anyhow ? 

George. (To f. of desk r.) What am I doing 
here? 

Austin. Yes. 

George. You sent for me 

Austin. Eh? 

George, (f. of desk r.) You sent Miss Curtis 
to tell me to give my course here 

Austin. (Irritably) Oh — hu (Sits l. of 

desk J^.— picks up hook.) All right, go ahead with 
your course. 

George, (y. of desk r.) What! Right here be- 
fore you? 

Austin. Certainly. Is there any reason why you 
shouldn't give it before me? 

George. (Crossing to sofa l.) No. I have 
nothing to conceal. 

Miss Curtis. (Enters door r. zvith composition 
books, goes to r. of desk r.) Hurry, Sally! 

('Sally enters door r. — a small checkbook — goes to 
R. of piano. Elise rises — turns, sits p.b. Starts 
playing softly.) 

Austin. Oh, is it only Sally? I mean, is it 
Sally? 

Miss Curtis. (Sits at desk r.) Yes, Sally has 
the first turn. 

Austin. (Rising, crosses f. — goes up L.c.j Oh, 

well, I've got something to attend to — ^but I'll be 
back. 

('Elise is sitting on piano bench, catches his eye as 
he comes up l.c. Austin exits door l. Elise 
gets his last words, 'Til be back" — swings 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 99 

around on the bench and softly touches the keys. 
Stops when Sally begins to speak. George 
crosses a. to l. of desk l.J 

Sally. (Laughs loudly — making fun of George j 
Professor! Hu! (Crosses to sofa u) George — 
the idea of you giving me a lesson, (Sits, sofa l ) 

Miss Curtis. Sally, Sally! 

George. (Snatching the checkbook from her, 
runs through the pages rapidly, severely — ^'brother 
and siste/' ) A very badly kept book, Miss Boyd. 

Sally. (Laughingly) I have such trouble with 
my account, Professor. 

George. What is your chief difficulty? 

Sally. Keeping any money in the bank. 

Miss Curtis. (Sitting desk R. — busy writing. 
Gently) Oh, Sally, Sally, dear, do pay attention to 
your lesson. 

George. Tm sorry to hear that. (Sits — sotto 
voce.) Listen to me, when I teach Miss Bene- 

dotti (He points at Miss Curtis, at the door, 

meaning when I teach Elise, get Miss Curtis 
away.) 

Sally. (Loudly) What's that? 

George. (Turns away disgusted — to Sally 

again) Oh! When I teach Miss Benedotti 

(Same business.) 

Sally. (Understanding) Oh, I can't. 

George. You could if you tried. 

Sally. Can't. 

Miss Curtis. Sally, Sally, you must never say 
you can't do anything your teachers ask of you, 

Sally. All right, if you say so, Miss Curtis. 

George. (Rises, rapidly) In that case, this les- 
son is over. Add up the deposits, add up the checks, 
subtract the one from the other, and there you are. 
^Sally grabs book, crosses toward door e. Elise 



TOO THE CHARM SCHOOL 

who is on to the trick tries to run out after Sally. 
Sally runs out door r. Very sweetly.) Now, who 
is the next pupil, Miss Curtis? 

Miss Curtis. Elise, Elise — Elise Benedotti is 
next. 

George. Possibly, possibly. (Sits.) 

Elise. (At door r. — going to l. of sofa R.) Miss 
Curtis, I don't see any use at all in my taking this 
course. My uncle would always get me some little 
ac-coun-ta-nant to balance my book ! 

George. (Rising) Perhaps you wouldn't al- 
ways find a little accountant at your beck and call. 

Elise. (r.c, turns to George, then turns back 
to Miss Curtisj I always have. fGEORCE sits 
crushed.) 

Miss Curtis. But, Elise, Mr. Bevans thinks this 
course is so important. 

Elise. (Crossing and sitting dozvn at once on u. 
arm of sofa L.J Oh, if Mr. Bevans thinks so. 
("George rises — takes her book.) 

George. (Looking through her book) Tuh — tsh 
— tsh — this is no way to keep a record of your ex- 
penditures, Miss Benedotti. (Very sugarly) — to self 
— to self — ^^to self — why, you never enter what you 
spent your money for 

Elise. Sometimes I do (Finds the place in 

the checkbook.) There's one — for George's Christ- 
mas present 

George. It was a wonderful present. (Senti- 
mentally — tries to hold her hand — she snatches it 
away.) I mean it must have been at such a price. 

Elise. Miss Curtis, do you think Professor Boyd 
ought to comment on the price I pay for things? 
Is that part of the course ? 

Miss Curtis. Not exactly, my dear, but Fm 
sure nowadays, we ought to be very grateful to any- 
one who can tell us 



THE CHARM SCHOOL loi 

C Sally enters door r.^ calls loudly.) 

Sally. Miss Curtis! 

Miss Curtis. Yes, Sally, dear. 

Sally. You're wanted on the long distance tele- 
phone. 

Miss Curtis. (Rises — flustered) Dear me, now 
— who can that be? (Reaches for phone on lower 
end of desk R.J 

Sally. (Beats her to it — grabs the phone. 
George writes on piece of paper ''balance sheet" — 
lays it on top of desk — Elise looks at it) Don't use 
that one 

Miss Curtis. Sally — dear! 

Sally. The operator said that there was some- 
thing wrong with the switches, and that if you used 
any telephone but the one in the pantry, you'd lose 
your connection. 

Miss Curtis. Why, how very strange! (Goes 
up R.C.J 

('Elise runs to hack of Miss Curtis.J 

Sally. fR. of desk r. — still holds the phone) 
That's just what she said. 

Miss Curtis. (Above sofa R., to George J Did 
you ever hear of such a thing? 

George. (Has come to ca) Oh, yes — ^yes, in- 
deed. It happens quite often, when the earth cur- 
rents are running — (Illustrates by holding hand out 
straight.) — or I should say tending to run in an — 
(Bends his fingers.) — opposite or negative direc- 
tion 

fMiss Curtis moves toward George.J 

Sally, ^r. of desk R.j I'm afraid you'll lose 



102 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

your call, Miss Curtis. CMiss Curtis hurries out 
door R. Sally going up r. to door r.) Fixed it 
for you, sweetie ! (^Elise starts for her.) 
Elise. I think I'd better go. 

(^Sally exits door r. — quickly. Elise attempts to 
follow her out.) 

George. (Passionately) Elise! Elise! 

Elise. Oh, what do you want ? 

George. Can't you see that man is in love with 
you? 

Elise. (Gasping) Oh, George, what do you 
mean ? 

George, (l. of c.) Bevans is in love with you, 
don't you see it ? Can't you feel it ? 

Elise. (r. of GeorgeJ Oh, George, what makes 
you think so? 

George. I don't think, I know. If you'd seen 
his face just now when you were in his arms 

Elise. Oh, I wasn't in his arms, George. It was 
because you opened the door so roughly. 

George. The point is, he hked it. He loved it. 

Elise. (Enraptured) Are you sure? 

George. Of course, I'm sure. I've known Aus- 
tin a long time — I tell you he's wildly in love with 
you. That's why he makes you write to him every 
day. 

Elise. Oh, no, George, that's to improve my 
handwriting. 

George. That's what he tells you, darling, but 
it's really because he's in love with you. Why, you 
should have seen his face light up when Miss Curtis 
brought in your note this morning. 

Elise. Did it, George, did it light up ? 

George. Yes, it did. (^Elise, enraptured, turns 
to R.C. George follows her.) He ought to be 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 103 

ashamed of himself. Why, he's practically engaged 
to Susie Rolles. 

Elise. (Laughs, sits on arm of sofa r.) Prac- 
tically engaged — what sort of an engagement is 
that ? 

George. Well, I heard him tell your uncle, that 
the only reason he took the school was to make 
enough money to get married. He's all wrapped up 
in her. 

Elise. But how can he be all wrapped tip in her, 
if he's in love with me? 

George. What do you mean — ^he's in love with 
you? 

Elise. (Rises, goes to him) You just this mo- 
ment said he was. 

George. (Confused) Well, I mean he was 
wrapped up in her and he would be still, if you'd 
let him alone. 

Elise. (Shocked) Let him alone! Why, 
George! (Crossing to l. of desk L.J You don't 
think rd do anything 

George. (Hastily — f. of sofa l.) Oh, no, no, 
dear. I didn't mean that. I know you are too timid 
to give him the least encouragement. But, if you 
(Gestures.) v/ouldn't stir him up. 

Elise. Stir him up? 

George. (Gestures) If you'd just avoid him for 
a little while. 

Elise. (Struck with the idea — looking f.) Oh ! 

I might do just one thing and then the other 

(Imitates George's gestures.) First stir him up and 
then avoid him. That sometimes works wonder- 
fully. 

George. No, no, dear. Just avoid him, just avoid 
him, then he'd forget you. 

Elise. (Laughs) Oh, George, you are so funny. 
That's what I do with you — ^and look at the re- 



I04 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

suit— ('George turns to c.) You never give me 
back a balance sheet without writing "I love you" 

all over it (Gets it, on desk lJ Like this one 

this morning — look all over this side (She 

hands it to George. J 

f Austin enters door l. as the paper is under dis- 
cussion.) 

Austin. (Comes down l.c. — between them) 
Let me see that paper. 

George, ("l. of c. — shoves it up under his coat) 
No, I won't. 

Austin. Give it to me. 

George. I will not. 

Austin. George! (^George hands it to him. 
Between George and Elise — reading.) "I love you 
so much that I cannot bear him even to look at 
you !" 

Elise. (t. of sofa l. — ^l. of AustinJ Now, who 
do you think he means by that him? Mr. Bevans? 

Austin. (Looks from Elise to George. To 
George J Is this your idea of a lesson in account- 
ing? 

George, (ci.) About as good as your idea of 
a lesson in composition. 

Austin. (Crossing to f. of desk L.j You ought 
to be ashamed of yourself. 

Elise. Oh, Mr. Bevans, don't be so angry. It 
really doesn't make the least bit of difference. 

Austin. There, I disagree with you. 

(^Miss Curtis enters door r. — goes r. of desk r. — 
George goes up to post l.c.j 

Miss Curtis. (Talking as she enters) There 
wasn't a soul on the wire and Central kept saying 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 105 

"Number, please. Number, please." I do think it's 
so annoying. 

f Elise sits sofa L.j 

Austin. (Portentously advancing to c.) Miss 
Curtis. ^Elise sits, sofa l.J I believe I was per- 
fectly clear a moment ago when I told you that I 
wished you to remain in the room during Mr. 
Boyd's lessons. 

Miss Curtis. (Crossing f. to Austin's r.) Oh, 
yes, Mr. Bevans, perfectly clear. 

Austin. You understood my directions? 

Miss Curtis. (Almost in tears) Perfectly, per- 
fectly, Mr. Bevans. 

Austin. May I ask then, why I find Miss Bene- 
dotti entirely unchaperoned ? 

Miss Curtis. I was called to the long distance 
telephone 

Austin. The telephone? The telephone is here. 

Elise. (To George J Tell him it wasn't her 
fault. 

George. (Coming down l. of Austin j Why, 
Austin, I — I (Returns to post l.c. j 

Austin. (Hardly waits for Elise and George's 
lines) Miss Curtis, I feel a very deep responsi- 
bility in these matters. Unless you can obey my di- 
rections, I must find someone who can. 

Miss Curtis. Oh ! 

CMiss Curtis goes to desk — sits, head in her hands 

— weeping.) 

Elise. (Rises) Oh, Mr. Bevans, please don't 
be so angry with her, it wasn't her fault. 
Austin. Whose fault was it? 
Elise. It was Geo — it was Prof. Boyd's. He'll 



io6 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

explain it. (Goes to door r. — opening it.) Don't 
cry, Miss Curtis, Mr. Boyd will explain. (She leads 
Miss Curtis away — they exit door r. George goes 
down c.) 

Austin, (l. of desk) You ought to be ashamed 
of yourself — after all I said to you 

George. Indeed. Well, how about you? 

Austin. I wasn't making love to the girl. 

George. It looked like it. 

Austin. It's just low-minded to think that be- 
cause I'm alone with a girl for five minutes I'm mak- 
ing love to her. 

George, (r. of sofa l.) Why isn't it low-minded 
then for you to think that I was. 

Austin. Hold on. You were. That's the dif- 
ference. You were. And I won't have it, George. 
You leave my school. 

George. (To sofa l.) No, I won't get out and 
leave you a clear field. 

Austin. On the level, George, if I should find 
that one of these girls was developing a sentiment 
for me, I'd stop it like a shot. 

("Elise enters door r., she goes straight to r. of 

George. J 

Elise. (To r. of George l. of c.) George, go 
away and leave this to me. 

Austin, (l. of GeorgeJ Do nothing of the 
kind, George. 

Elise. George, if you don't go instantly, I'll 

never speak to you again, so help me (^George 

goes out at once door R. — Elise advances to Aus- 
tin, j I want to speak to you, Mr. Bevans. 

Austin. (Angry — f. of desk l.) Yes, and I 
want to speak to you. You ought to be ashamed of 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 107 

yourself— the president of the senior class. You 
ought to set a good example to the 

Elise. (Trembling with fear, f. of sofa h.) Mr. 
Bevans 

Austin, (f. of d.l.) I say you ought to set a 
good example to the younger pupils. What I ob- 
ject to is that it's so common — it's so second rate 

Elise. Oh, please don't be silly. 

Austin. Silly! 

Elise. Yes, what difference does it make whether 
George writes me letters or not? He doesn't mat- 
ter. I — I don't care for him. 

Austin, (t. of desk l.) It's no affair of mine 
whether you care for him or not. But it is my affair 
that you shall not use my school to carry on a clan- 
destine correspondence. (Crossing to f. of desk R.J 
It makes no difference to me what your feelings 
are 

Elise. (Gasping, goes to l.i. of sofa r.) Oh, is 
that true? 

Austin. (Turning to her — f. of desk r.) Is 
what true? 

Elise. That you don't care what my feelings — 
are? 

Austin. What are you trembling so for? Are 
you afraid of me? 

Elise. No, no, not a bit. Yes, I am, terribly, but 
that's not why I'm trembling. It's because I love 
you, I love you terribly. 

Austin. (Trying to be calm) My dear child 

Elise. (Trembling, l. of lower end of sofa rJ 
Oh, please don't say any of those things you think 
you ought to say about my being a child and not 
knowing what love is. I have so little time to tell 
you. George doesn't matter. Nothing matters but 
you — I've been silly sometimes, about actors and 
singers and thought I was unhappy, but I wasn't. 



io8 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

I enjoyed it. But I don't enjoy this (She 

trembles so as she talks that she can hardly speak.) 
I can't eat, I can't sleep. I have no peace except 
when I'm with you, and then that excites me so it 
almost kills me. 

Austin. (Protestingly — going up r. of desk R.j 
Elise, Elise. 

Elise, ("l. of sofa R.j What shall I do, Mr. 
Bevans, what shall I do? 

Austin. Now, just wait a minute — please 

Elise. Do you hate me to love you like this ? 

Austin, ^r. of desk R.j Let us be absolutely 
honest about this. Nobody hates to be loved. And 
no man hates to be loved by a lovely little creature 
like you. As for me, no one's ever cared about me 
much, except David and my mother, and I don't 
remember her very well 

Elise. (At sofa r.J Oh, I'm so glad. I mean 
that no one has loved you, because if they had, that 
would mean that you had cared for someone and 
then you'd be absolutely irresistible. 

Austin. But we're not going to have anything 
more like this at all. You've got to get over this 
fancy, and get over it at once. 

Elise. Mr. Bevans, when I'm an old, withered 
woman, I shall love you just as I do to-day. 

Austin. (Crossing to l. of c.i.J Nonsense. 

Elise, (Goes to his r.) Or a little bit more, be- 
cause I'll know more about it then. 

Austin. (Turns to her) Elise, you must stop 
loving me. 

Elise. (r. of Austin J I can't. 

Austin, (l. of c.i.J You can if you try. Now 
try. 

Elise. (Gaspingly) I don't mean to try. (Raises 
her hands — with difficulty restrains herself from 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 109 

throwing her arms about his neck.) Don't you love 
me at all? 

Austin. (Firmly, untruthful) No. (Goes to f. 
of desk L.) 

Elise. (Steps toward him) Are you engaged to 
someone else? 

Austin. (Attempting to quiet her) My dear 
child, what difference can that possibly make to 
you? 

Elise. (Frantically) Can't you see what differ- 
ence it makes to me? Are you? Are you? Are 
you? 

fMiss Hays enters door r.^ takes in the situation.) 

Austin. Well, not exactly. 

("Elise, sobbing hysterically, leans her head against 

post L.C.j 

Miss Hays. (Above sofa r.J There are two 
ladies to see you, Mr. Bevans. 

Austin. (To l. of desk l.J Parents? 

Miss Hays. No, just ladies (Comes down 

C.2.J 

fELiSE gives a long sob. Miss Hays goes to l. of 

sofa R.) 

Austin. (To her l. j Elise, do try and get hold 
of yourself. 

Elise. (Hysterically) I don't want to get hold 
of myself. (Runs out door r._, sobbing hysterically.) 

CMiss Hays looks after Elise — turns, looks at Aus- 
tin — pause.) 

Miss Hays. ("r.c. — scornfully) Well, Mr. Bev- 



no THE CHARM SCHOOL 

ans, it seems that Charm is Hke a good rule, it works 
both ways. 

Austin. (Goes toward her l.) Miss Hays, it 
wasn't my fault. 

Miss Hays. Oh, don't say that. 

Austin, fc.3^ You mean you think I wanted 
to — that I tried 

Miss Hays, (r.c.^) When you introduced five 
young men into a girls' boarding school you took 
the responsibility of everything that might happen. 
You were obstinate and ignorant 

Austin. Miss 

Miss Hays. Oh, I know that determined and in- 
experienced sounds better, in other words, you were 
a man and a young one, and so you went on your 
own way — and you ruined this school — this thing 
for which I worked and thought and planned for 
fifteen years. You take it up like a toy and break it 
for your own amusement! (Crossing F. to R. of 
desk R.) Without a thought. 

Austin. You're quite wrong. I've given it a 
great deal of thought 

Miss Hays. (r. of desk r.) Very well, then, 
you've given a great deal of thought to ruining it. 
I gave the best years of my life to building it up. 
And I love it, like a child — and I've had to stand 
aside and see you do one mad thing after another. 
Mr. Bevans, give it up. Give it up to me now. I 
can still save it. 

Austin, I'll do nothing of the kind. Why, 
the school is doing well. Look at the results. Look 
at the waiting Hst. My aunt never had a -waiting 
list like that. Isn't that true? 

Miss Hays. Oh, yes, that's true. (Sits r. of 
desk R.) 

Austin. All the parents are satisfied, and the 
girls are certainly satisfied. And look at the ira- 



THE CHARM SCHOOL in 

provement in them — in their voices, in their manners, 
in their dress — do you deny that? 

Miss Hays. No, I don't deny that some of your 
ideas are good, and have proved more practical than 
I expected. 

Austin. What do you object to then? 

Miss Hays. To you, to you and these other boys. 
Do you know how easy it is to kill a school? One 
breath of scandal 

Austin. Of scandal? 

Miss Hays. What parents call scandal. I dare 
say you don't know half of what is going on in the 
school. Do you know that those twins — what is their 
names, Simpkins — send Sally flowers every day? 
That George Boyd follows Elise about like a little 
dog? That every girl in school is taking snapshots 
of you — and that a good photograph of you com- 
m^ands any price 

Austin. (Turning to l.c.i. j I'll confiscate every 
kodak in the school. It will be forbidden to take a 
picture. 

Miss Hays. It's too late — ^they all have them on 
their dressing tables in silver frames. 

Austin. (Comes to c.2) You must order them 
off their dressing tables. 

Miss Hays. I did. I said that photographs of 
men were not allowed, but they say their teachers 
are different. Oh, I've worried myself sick over the 
whole thing, and I can't bear it any longer. I resign, 
I can't stand by passively and see things like this 
going on. 

Austin. fc.2J Like what? 

Miss Hays. Like what is happening to little 
Elise Benedotti, for instance. 

A.USTIN. Miss Hays, I am just as eager to pro- 
tect that child as you are — ^you make me feel very 
small when you talk like that. 



112 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Miss Hays. (Rises, picks up composition books) 
I'm afraid I can interest myself very little in your 
feelings, Mr. Bevans. (Exits upstairs rJ 

(Enter Miss Curtis, door r. She has a letter in 
her hand. Austin goes to l. of desk L J 

Miss Curtis. Oh, Mr. Bevans, excuse me, I 
thought Miss Hays was here. I have a letter for 
her. 

Austin, ("l. of desk l.) Miss Hays will be right 
back, Miss Curtis. 

Miss Curtis. (Goes to c.) Mr. Bevans, may I 
speak to you ? (^Austin crosses f. to Miss Curtis.J 
I feel that after what happened this morning, I had 
better resign. 

Austin, (l. of Miss CurtisJ Resign! You 
want to leave us? 

Miss Curtis. Oh, no, I don't want to leave you, 
but I thought you were dissatisfied with me, and I 
couldn't bear (She can't go on with the sen- 
tence.) 

Austin. There, there. I suppose I was a little 
hasty. Do forgive me. We really couldn't do with- 
out you. (^Miss Curtis ready to cry, smothers ''Oh, 
Mr. Bevans. "j Only please don't cry. (She tries 
to keep hack the tears.) You won't cry, will you? 

Miss Curtis. (Smiles, crying bitterly) I can't 
help it. It makes me so happy. Oh, Mr. Bevans, 
working for you has been such a privilege, such an 
inspiration. You know, I think I have been waiting 
for an inspiration all my life. (^Austin goes to l. 
of desk L., sits.) 

("Miss Hays enters r. down the stairs.) 

Miss Hays. Theodosia, when you have time, 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 113 

v^ill (Comes down r.u.— Austin to l. 9f desk 

L. — sits — Miss Curtis to post rJ 

Miss Curtis. (Going to Miss Hays's lJ Oh, 
Eleanor. I have a note for you from Elise. 

fMiss Hays takes the letter, steps down r.c. Miss 
Curtis goes to post r.c.^ dries her tears, then 
goes to chair r. of desk r. — sits.) 

Miss Hays. (Glances through the note) Oh! 
(Goes to c. — controlling herself.) Well, Mr. Bev- 
ans. Your catastrophe has arrived. Elise Bene- 
dotti has run away. 

Miss Curtis. (Rising) Oh, Eleanor. (Crosses 
F. to R. of Miss Hays. J 

Austin. (Rises) What, run away (Goes 

to L. of Miss Hays. J Let me see (Takes the 

letter — reads.) "I couldn't bear to live another hour 
under the same roof. I shall be quite safe where I 
am going." 

Miss Curtis. This is terrible. 

Austin. Nonsense! She can't have gone far. 
She was here not fifteen minutes ago. 

Miss Hays. Remember a trolley passes the gates 
every few minutes, which connects with all New 
England. 

Austin. I'll bring her back. 

Miss Hays. (Coldly — crossing to r. of desk r.J 
I hope you may. 

Austin. I tell you I will. (He goes to door r. 
and calls.) David, George. (As Austin turns he 
almost runs over Miss Curtis,, he goes to door 

U.L.C.j 

Miss Hays. Her uncle must be telephoned at 
once. (In phone.) Hello. Hello. 

Austin. (Calls off door u.l.c.^ Tim. Jim. 
Miss Hays. (In phone) Hullo. Hullo. 



114 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Miss Curtis, (a. of sofa rJ Oh, no, don't tele- 
phone her uncle — ^he is so hard, so unforgiving. 

Austin. (Comes down l. of c. Going to r. of 
C.2) Of course, Mr. Johns must be informed in- 
stantly of what has happened. ("David enters door 
R., goes to R.C.3.; Miss Hays, you'll stay and take 
charge of everything while I'm gone. 

(Jim enters door u.l.c. — goes down r. of c.4.> 

Jim. What's the matter, Austin, what's hap- 
pened ? 

fTiM enters d.u.l.c. — goes to l. of Austin.^) 

Austin. Boys, boys, here's a fine state of af- 
fairs 

CGeorge enters door r., goes to between David and 
Jim. Miss Hays sits at desk r. — takes the ad- 
dress book and looks up the possible places 
where Elise might go — then zvrites out tele- 
grams. Miss Curtis is above desk r., helping 
her.) 

Austin. Elise Benedotti has run away, and I'm 
going to bring her back 

George. ^David is below him) What? 

Austin. Elise Benedotti has run away and 

George. What? 

Austin. George, that's a very annoying habit 
of yours, saying, what, what, what, when you under- 
stood perfectly. Elise Benedotti has run away 
(Crossing to l. of desk l.) and I'm going after her. 

George. (Crosses to sofa l.) So am I. ("David 
crosses — above desk l. Twins to Miss Curtis. J 

Austin. No, you're not. Your place is here 
with your classes. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 115 

fTwiNS go to Miss Curtis^ question her. She an- 
swers them, then goes to above desk r. Twins 
come to c.) 

George. You know a lot about what my place is. 
I know my own place, thank you. 

Austin. Prove it then by sticking to your job. 
David, I want you to make a point 

(^Miss Hays replaces phone. Starts hunting the 
phone book and writing telegrams.) 

George. Stick here and leave you to go chasing 
Elise all over the country. I'll go and get her my- 
self. 

Austin. You know where she is, then? 

George. No, but I have means of finding out. 

Twins. Sally will know. 

Austin. Good idea. Get Sally, please, Miss Cur- 
tis. 

(The Twins run to Miss Curtis, she exits u. stairs.) 

Jim. Yes, get Sally, Miss Curtis. (Comes back 
to C.2 — Tim r. of C.3.J 

George. Cl.c.J Now, that's not fair. Sally is 
my sister and it was my idea 

Austin, (l. of desk l. j Look here, George, this 
isn't a game of hide-and-seek. This is a serious 
matter. One of the pupils of the Fairview School 
has run away and must be found at once. David, I 
want you to make it your business— — 

George. Why did she run away, that's what I'd 
like to know? 

Austin. We don't know. (To David abovf 



ii6 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

sofa L,) There is a man raking^ the road, ask him 
if 

George. Well, I know. 

Austin. What do you know? 

George. Why she ran away. 

Austin. Why did she run away? 

George. I guess you know, too. 

Austin. (Interrupting, to DavidJ Ask him if 
he saw anyone pass. 

George. Elise ran away because of you. 

David, (a. of sofa l.) George, you're crazy. 

Austin. (To David J Never mind him, Dave. 
You go and question that man. 

CDavid exits door u.L.c.j 

George. Fm not crazy. Elise ran away because 
you forced her to write you letters every day 

Austin. If you haven't anything more sensible 
to say than that, for Heaven's sake, shut up. (To 
JiM.j Jim — (^JiM goes to above sofa l.) — I want 
you to go to the station and find out 

George. I won't shut up. I say Elise ran away 
because you forced her to write you love letters 
every day. 

Austin. They weren't love letters. 

George. They were. 

Austin. They weren't. 

George. They were. 

Austin. They weren't. 

George. They were. (Continued ad lib.) 

Austin. Oh, shut up. (To Jim, who comes to 
above sofa l.) Jim, you go to the station and find 
out if she bought a railroad ticket, and also find 
out where the trolleys connect with the trains. 

Jim. Yes, sir. ("Jim exits u.l.c.J 

Austin. Tim — ("Tim goes to above sofa l.) — 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 117 

i"un around to the garage, and get my car up and see 
that the tank's filled. 
Tim. Right-o. fTiM runs out u.L.c.j 

(^Sally is seen at entrance on stairs, overhears.) 

George. (Goes to f. of desk) I dare say there 
are worse things, things I don't know anything about. 
It must have been something pretty bad to make a 
girl like Elise run away. 

Austin. (Turning to George J George, you 
get right out of here. 

George. (Backing towards c.) I'll do nothing 
of the sort. 

Austin. You leave this room, or I'll put you 
out. 

George. You try, you just try. 

Austin. That's exactly what I m.ean to do. 

Sally. (Running down the stairs) George ? 

fMiss Curtis enters after Sally, goes to above 
desk to Miss Hays. George goes to Sally, j 

Miss Hays. (To SallyJ I shouldn't interfere, 
my dear. 

George, (l. of sofa r.) Sally, where has Elise 
gone ? 

Austin. You tell me everything you know. 

Sally. (Goes to Austin's b..) Oh, I don't know, 
I don't know 

Austin, (l. of SallyJ Sally, remember I'm 
head of this school. 

George. (To r. of SallyJ Sally, remember, I'm 
your brother. 

Austin. You're concealing something from me, 

Sally. Oh, no, Mr. Bevans. 

Austin. If you don't tell me where she's gone 
you'll leave this school. 



ii8 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Sally. (Commences to cry) Oh, Mr. Bevans, 
you wouldn't expel — — (Runs to Miss Hays. 
George goes to above Sally, j Miss Hays, Miss 
Hays, you wouldn't let him expel me. 

Miss Hays. My dear, Mr. Bevans is the head of 
this school. 

Sally. (Turns to Austin j Oh, Mr. Bevans ! 

Austin. I'd expel you like a shot, unless you 
tell me where Elise has gone. 

George. Well, I can't expel you, but I can make 
it hot for you at home. (Pinches her arm.) 

Sally. Oh, George! Oh, Mr. Bevans, I don't 
knov7, not positively, only Elise has an old nurse 
who's married and lives — in 

Austin and George. Where — ^where, Sally? 

Sally. In Bridgeport. 

George. Bridgeport, Bridgeport. A time-table 
for Bridgeport. (Runs out door l. Business with 
Miss Curtis, turns and humps into her, exits.) 

Miss Curtis. (Rushes to desk l.J Oh, yes, I 
have one, I have one right here. 

Austin. But what's her name, Sally? Stop cry- 
ing. What's her name? 

Sally. M—M— Maggie. 

Austin. Maggie, but I can't go about Bridge- 
port asking for Maggie the nurse. What's her last 
name? 

Sally. Oh, everybody's got me so upset I can't 
think, but I do think it's O'Brien. 

Austin. Maggie O'Brien, Bridgeport. (Hurries 
off door R. Sally follows to above sofa r. George 
runs in door l. Wearing his hat. Sally runs to 
sofa L., kneels, leaning over desk.) 

George. (To c.3 j Have you found it, Miss Cur- 
tis? 

Miss Curtis. Yes, yes, here it is. What time is 
it now ? 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 119 

George and Sally. What time is it now ? 

George. (Looking at ivrist watch) Five minutes 
of one, Miss Curtis. 

Sally. Five minutes of one, Miss Curtis. 

Miss Curtis. Five minutes of one, five minutes 
of one, and here's one at one six, now if you hnvry 

you can catch it ("George starts for door vjl.) 

Oh, come back. Professor, come back, that train 
doesn't go to Bridgeport at all. But here's one at 
one-fifteen, a very good train that gets to Bridgeport 

at ("George again starts on a run for the door.) 

Oh, wait, wait a moment, Professor, come back, 
that's the Sunday trains I've been looking at all the 
time. Now Vk^asn't that stupid of me, dear, dear. 
A.M. P.M. ("Sally attempts to help her.) No, no, 
now Sally, let me manage it, I understand time- 
tables. I always did. Here it is, here's your train — 
one=twenty — ("George again starts.) — an excellent 
train, doesn't stop anywhere. ("George again returns 
to sofa L., sifiks on it tired out.) 

Miss Hays. Theodosia, will you please go up to 
Elise's room and see if she has left any clew? 

Miss Curtis. Oh, yes, indeed I will. Wasn't 
it stupid of m_e not to have thought of it before? 
(Exits upstairs.) 

Austin. (Enters door r. To Miss Haysj I'll 
telegraph you from Bridgeport, Miss Hays. 

("Tim enters door u.l.J 

Tim. Car's ready, Austin, want me to go with 
you? 

Austin. Certainly not. ("Tim exits door u.l. 
To Miss Hays.j I'm going in the car. 

George. (Rises — l. of Austin^ I'll go with 
you, Austin. 

Austin. (Crossing) You will not. 



120 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

George. All right, then, all right, then. I'll go 
on the train and get there first. 

Austin. (Crossing toward d.u.l.c.j We'll see. 

George. (Follows him) Oh, have you got any 
money ? 

Austin. Yes, thanks. (Exits door u.l.c. 
George follows him up.) 

George. (Starts toward Miss Hays, ahoiit to 
ask her for money. Turns to SallyJ Have you 
got any money? 

Sally. No, but I'll get some. 



^Muriel enters, downstairs.) 

Muriel. Sally, what's the matter? 
Sally. Muriel. 
Muriel. What? 
Sally. Got any money? 
Muriel. Two dollars. 

Sally. Give it to me. (Takes it. Muriel 
crosses to George.j 

(^Ethel enters, downstairs.) 

Ethel. Sally, Sally, what's all the excitement ? 

Sally. Got any money, Ethel? 

Ethel. Yes. 

Sally. Give it to me. (The other Girls have 
entered, following Ethel on stairs. She gets money 
from each. Goes to George.^ There you are, 
George. There's six dollars and eighty-four cents. 
That ought to take you to Bridgeport. 

George. (Takes it) Six dollars and eighty-four 

cents. Won't take me to Yonkers (Rushes off 

door U.L.C. The Girls crowd around Sally, who 
has gone up after George, asking questions.) 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 121 

Girls. What's happened, Sally? Etc. 
Sally. Elise has run away. 

(^Miss Curtis enters, down the stairs.) 

Miss Curtis. Eleanor, Eleanor ! 

Miss Hays. (Rises) Did you find anything in 
her room? 

Miss Curtis. No, no, not a thing, but I just saw 
Mr. Bevans driving down the road — so fast — so 
recklessly. Oh, Eleanor, I'm afraid he'll be killed! 

Miss Hays. (Grabbing the telephone) Vm 
afraid not! 



CURTAIN 



(Girls rush to Miss Hays, asking questions, ist 
— Miss Curtis hushes them.) 

Miss Curtis. Children — children — Miss Hays is 
phoning. 

("Girls rush to Sally up l.c. Miss Curtis up to 
window. Miss Hays sits.) 

(2nd Curtain — Miss Curtis goes to look off, goes 
to sofa L., sits, crying.) 



CURTAIN 



ACT III 

Time : Midnight. 

Scene I : On the road. 

In front of the returns of Act II set, hangs 
a wood drop painted very dark, about ten feet 
of the center is cut out and gaiised, showing the 
road through the woods, with arched trees on 
each side. The ceilings of Act II have been 
raised, and a very dark wood drop hangs about 
ten feet back of the front one, this drop hangs 
inside the set. 

In the center of the gauge drop stands an old- 
fashioned buggy, the shafts have been cut off to 
about eight inches of the whiffle-tree and are 
close to the gause. An iron standard comes up 
from the whiffie-tree over which are the reins. 
The top of the buggy is turned back enough so 
as not to interfere with the lights. A front 
curtain to the buggy is rolled up, the side ones 
are dozvn. The buggy stands up and down 
stage, the horse is presu'mably in front of the 
picture or in the audience. 

Lights : The two side lights of the buggy are fas- 
tened to a board which is attached to the dash- 
board; they are close together at first. A me- 
chanical arrangement which Austin works by 
turning a small crank, slozvly draws the lamps 
apart, at the same time opening the kodak shut- 
ters which have shut out the light, giving the 
effect of the carriage coming from a distance 
straight ahead. Two very small lens lamps of 

122 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 123 

forty-waft power, lemon-colored, come slowly 
up on dimmer to sufficiently light up the faces. 
At Opening: Every light in stage is out. No 
light in foots. It is midnight, and very dark. 
In the distance a very faint sound is heard as a 
horse trotting along slowly. Gradually two 
small lights are seen, at first close together, and 
gradually growing larger and drazving apart, 
while the horse effect also increases, drawing 
nearer. The two lens lights are slowly brought 
up on dimmer to give sufficient light to play in. 

The first border, blue, which has been way 
dotvn, is slowly brought up to give a faint light 
to the sky. 

A Man stands behind the buggy, and each 
time Austin uses the whip, says ^'Git up," he 
racks the buggy sideways, Austin and Elise 
sway and lurch with it, to have the effect of 
going over a rough road. The horse effect also 
keeps slowing up, and quickening with Austin. 
Discovered: Austin and Elise seated in the 
^uggy^ Austin on r. of Elise. 

Austin. Get up, Man O' War. To come down 
from forty horsepower to one. Get up. 

Elise. The poor horse. He seems rather tired, 
doesn't he? 

Austin. I have a fellow feeling for him. 

Elise. What, are you tired, too, Mr. Bevans? 
Then why didn't you stay at the hotel? Though I 
do think this is great fun, to drive all night. Oh, 
don't you think it's all been fun? 

Austin. Fun? To be wandering about Bridge- 
port v/hen there are twenty thousand Margaret 
O'Briens in the darn town ? And then to smash my 
car on that curve — fun ! 

Elise. Well, you were driving it rather fast. 



124 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Austin. I was in a hurry to get you home. 

Elise. I can't see why there was any great hurry. 

Austin. You don't seem to care about the 
anxiety of your uncle and Miss Hays. 

Elise. Well, you telegraphed them that we were 
starting. 

Austin. I telegraphed them that we started from 
Bridgeport at nine o'clock last night. They'll 
think Oh, I don't know what they'll think. 

Elise. They know I'm with you. 

Austin. Yes, they know that. 

Elise. So they won't worry. Why should they ? 
Anyhow, we'll be back as soon as they're all awake, 
or very soon after. 

Austin. If this brute doesn't fall asleep on the 
road. Get up. 

Elise. You mustn't abuse him, Mr. Bevans. We 
were very lucky to get him, so far from the railroad 
station. 

Austin. How I hate to drive a horse. Get up. 

Elise. You do? Then I don't see why you didn't 
leave your car to be mended. The man at the 
garage said, if he worked all night — (Counts on her 
fingers) — it would be done by six, or certainly by 
seven. 

Austin. I couldn't trust him, he had a mean 
face. 

Elise. We could have driven home in an hour 
or so, and you could have had your night's rest as 
well. You needn't worry about me, because I think 
this is lovely, only you don't seem to be enjoying 
yourself very much. 

Austin. I'm not. 

Elise. (Yawns) It's kind of lonesome, enjoy- 
ing it all by myself. (Pause.) Didn't you think it 
was a good hotel, Mr. Bevans? 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 125 

Austin. An excellent hotel, Elise, the kind all 
your friends stay at, 

Elise. They do? Then I don't see why you 
didn't 

Austin. Because, my dear child, respectable 
hotels don't take in stray couples without luggage, 
especially if they are not married. 

Elise. But why not? 

Austin. Because, oh, because they think they 
ought to stay at home. 

Elise. But I think stray couples are just the ones 
who need to be taken in most. 

Austin. Do you? 

Elise. Do you mean to say a hotel wouldn't take 
us in just because we're not married? 

Austin. Yes, I do. 

Elise. I think the law should compel a hotel to 
take people in. 

Austin. Well, it doesn't. 

Elise. But it wouldn't have mattered with us 
anyway, don't you remember the hotel man thought 
we were married. He said : "Wouldn't your wife 
like a cup of tea?" 

Austin. I didn't hear him. (Cracks the whip, 
the buggy lurches violently.) Get up. G&t up. 

Elise. We're going pretty fast. 

Austin. W^ell, we're going down hill. Whoo. 

Elise. This is better. I hate tea, but I took it. 
because he made such a beautiful mistake. 

Austin. A very stupid mistake. 

Elise. Mr. Bevans, don't you think there's go- 
ing to be a thunder storm? 

Austin. Why? 

Elise, It seems as if there was something in the 
air, like electricity. 

Austin. (Looking out) Perhaps there is a lit- 
tle — something. 



126 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

(A low rumble of thunder is heard.) 

Elise- The hotel man didn't know you were a 
schoolmaster, did he, Mr. Bevans ? He thought you 
were just a young man. 

Austin. (Exasperated) Well, it's a lucky thing 
I'm not. 

Elise. Not what? 

Austin. Not just a young man. 

Elise. (Sleepily) I wonder. 

Austin. Elise, I must speak to you seriously. 

Elise. Oh, I love it, when you speak seriously. 

Austin. You ought not to go about talking to 
men as you do. Of course, you are safe with me, 
but another man might misunderstand you 

Elise. I wouldn't talk to any other man, as I 
talk to you 

Austin. I hope not. 

Elise. I wouldn't. 

Austin. You might. 

(Another rumble of thunder is heard, a little nearer, 
the rain commences to fall gently.) 

Elise. No, no. 

Austin. I'm not a conventional man in my ideas 
about the position of women, but I assure you re- 
serve is a charm in a woman, if she waits for the 
man to make the first advances 

Elise. But supposing she did wait and he didn't 
make them ? 

Austin. Then she ought to wait a little longer. 

(Another rumble of thunder, coming closer. The 
rain is a little louder.) 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 127 

Elise. I'm terribly sleepy. 

Austin. Go to sleep then. The horse has. 

Elise. I'd much rather stay awake and talk. 

Austin. Stay awake and talk then. 

Elise. Then I'm afraid if I went to sleep my 
head might fall over on your shoulder. And I sup- 
pose that would interfere v/ith your driving. 

Austin. Yes, it would, but if you lean your head 
against the corner of the buggy, it won't happen. 

Elise. (Leans her head against the side of 
buggy) Like this? 

Austin. Yes, like that. 

Elise. (Fidgeting about) That's not very com- 
fortable. 

Austin. It's the best you can do. 

(There is a heavy clap of thunder, the rain falls vio- 
lently, the storm is on them. Austin lowers 
the front curtain of the buggy.) 



CURTAIN 



ACT III 

Scene II : The school again. 

David is sitting at the left-hand desk, with 
the telephone receiver at his ear. He has evi- 
dently been waiting for some time. 

David. (At phone on desk lJ Hello — hello. 

(^Miss Curtis enters door r. in a great hurry, goes 
to right desk, picks up receiver.) 

Miss Curtis. Hullo — ^hullo. 

David. Hullo. 

Miss Curtis. Hullo — operator. 

David. Hullo — is this Bridgeport? Is this Mrs. 
O'Brien? 

Miss Curtis. Hullo. Mrs. O'Brien? 

David. (Looking up) Miss Curtis, Miss Curtis, 
will you be so kind as to get off my wire ? 

Miss Curtis. Your wire? Oh, excues me, Pro- 
fessor, I did not notice that you were telephoning. 
Do forgive me 

David. (Into telephone) Oh, hullo. Yes, I'm 
trying to get Bridgeport. 

Miss Curtis. Oh, Professor McKensie, where 
do you think they are? Not a word since they left 
Bridgeport last night at nine. I'm so afraid they've 
been killed, or something. And now Miss Hays 
wants me to telegraph Mr. Johns again, but I can't 
see any reason for getting him here— he's so un- 
sympathetic. Still, if she wants him, I suppose I 

128 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 129 

must. (She takes up the receiver again.) Hullo, 
hullo. 

David. Hullo, hullo, Bridgeport ? 

Miss Curtis. Western Union, please. 

David. Miss Curtis, will you give me no peace 
on this wire? 

Miss Curtis. Oh, excuse me, Professor. I quite 
forgot. How could I be so stupid ? 

David. I don't know — ^it's a miracle. Hullo— 
hullo — Yes, I am. Oh, it is, is it? Well, you might 
have told me that half an hour ago. (Hangs up re- 
ceiver. Girls enter l.J The wires are down be- 
tween here and Bridgeport on account of the storm^ 
last night. Fll tell Miss Hays. That's why^ we 
haven't heard. (He goes out. During the latter part 
of the scene, the Girls have been tiptoeing in — 
Ethel, Madge and Alix, Sally, Dotsie^ door L.j 

Sally. Oh, Miss Curtis! Has anything new 
happened? Do you know anything? 

Miss Curtis. No, dear, not a thing. (She hur- 
ries out R.J 

Sally. She spoke truth, then. 

fDoTSiE runs to Sally. Alix to r. of seat r. 
Madge f. of desk r. Lillie r.c. Sally at r. 
of u.E. of sofa L. Crosses to l. of desk l., 
sits.) 

Ethel. (At l. end of sofa l, Muriel enters; 
runs down the stairs, to R. of c.) Oh, Muriel, do 
you know anything new ? 

Muriel, ^r. of c.2) Yes, oh, my dear, even 
Miss Hays is worried. 

(The Girls all gather about her, except Sally. j 

Girls. Tell us, Muriel, tell us. 



130 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Muriel. Well, last night after we had all gone 
to bed Miss Hays got a telegram from Mr. Bevans, 
saying he had found Elise. 

Girls. Where? Where? (Dancing about, goes 
to F. of desk R.J 

Muriel, (-l. of c.) And that he was leaving 
Bridgeport — in his car 

Girls. Yes, yes 

Muriel. That was nine o'clock last evening. 
Well, my dears, where are they? 

('Alix goes up c. Muriel x. to l. of B.C. J 

Girls. I don't know. We ^^on't know, etc. 

Ethel. I wonder 

Sally. Ethel ! 

Muriel. Sally 

Sally. Hu ! 

Muriel. I can tell you what Miss Hays thinks. 

(The Girls group about her. Sally is sitting l. of 
desk. Charlotte, Alix, Madge are above her 
and the desk. Ethel is at piano. Lillian 
stands R. of l.e. of s.l. Dotsie is f. of sofa l.) 

Girls. W^hat — what does she think? (Run to 
front of desk L.) 

Muriel. (Going toward sofa r. Dotsie runs 
to her) She thinks — they've eloped. 

Girls. Oh, I don't believe Oh, what 

fun Do you think she would ? Etc. 

Alix.- (Dancing around the post l.c.J Twins 
want Sally. Twins want Sall}^ 

Sally. (Crossing to f. of desk l.) Oh, muzzle 
it! 

CTwiNS have followed Dotsie in, they stand just 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 131 

inside the door, are carrying hats, coats, and 
traveling bags.) 

Jim. (Is r. of Tiu) Hist — Sally! 

Sally. Oh, Mr. Simpkins, I can't come now- 



TiM. (To L. of post L.c.j Just a moment, Sally. 

(^Muriel pushes Dotsie out u.l.J 

Jim. (To r. of post L.c.j WeVe come to say 
good-bye. 

f Lillian is above Muriel. They have come to l. 
of c. Ethel stands R.c. Alix is sitting sofa 
r. Madge is f. of desk R.J 

Girls. Good-bye! You're going away? 

Ethel. Oh! Where are you going? 

Sally. (Leaning over desk l.J Good-bye! 
Why are you going? 

Jim. (To a.r. of sofa l. — puts hat and coat on 
sofa, bag on floor) Our beloved parent has wired 
for us to come home to Poughkeepsie. 

Tim. (To a. desk l. — puts hat and coat on sofa 
— has left bag l. of post l.c.j Seventy-fivel miles' 
from a decent cabaret. 

Jim. (To Sally J Good-bye. 

Lillian and Muriel. (^Lillian is above Mu- 
riel L. of c. They join hands and dance backward 
to R.c, singing) "Vamp a little lady." 

Jim. (Going to R. of c.) Good-bye, girls. 

Girls. Good-bye. 

Lillian. Oh, Mr. Simpkins, I'll never forget 
what you taught me — that little step, you know. 
(She goes into his arms — dances, turns hitn about — 
Sally comes to l.c. — Tim comes down l. to f. of 
sofa h.) 



132 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Ethel. (Crossing to l. of Jim j We'll miss you 
a lot, Mr. Simpkins. (Arm through his.) 

Sally. Hm ! 

Jim. (Releases himself from Lillian and Mu- 
RiEL_, goes toward SallyJ Oh, Sally, could I have 
just a word with you? 

Sally. ^l.c.J But Professor McKeiisie will be 
here any time now 

Muriel. We'll let you know when he's coming. 

Ethel. We'll watch 

Madge. We'll whistle when he leaves his 
study 

Muriel. That's a good idea, we'll whistle. 

(The Girls run to various observation posts. Lil- 
lian to door L. Madge to door u.l.c. Alix 
upstairs. Ethel to door r., holds door open, 
leaning out. Muriel upstairs. Sally crosses 

to R. of C.) 

Jim (Going to Sally's l. J Sally, we just wanted 
to say good-bye- 

Sally, (r. of c.) I'm so sorr}^ you're going. 
School won't seem like school without you. 

Tim. (l. of Jiu) Without v/hich of us, Sally? 

Sally. Without both of you. (Goes to sofa rJ 
Aren't parents simply fierce ? 

Tim. You can't get up any argument on that. 

Jim. Sally, we just wanted to say that we think 
you are the finest girl we ever sav*^ — and we've seen 
a good many in our time. 

Tim. (l. of Jim j That's right, we have. 

Jim. (Moves to her) Sally, maybe we'll meet 
again, some day. 

Sally. Oh, I don't know. I feel awfully dis- 
couraged. My famjly want me to go to college. 

Jim. To college — well, don't you do it — it's just 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 133 

four years wasted, that's all, and Sally, they d®n't 
teach you charm at college. 

Tim. No, nor to do your hair like that. 

Jim. Nor to dance the way I taught you. 

Tim. My dear, Sally, you wouldn't like college 
at all. 

Sally. (Disgusted — sits R. arm of sofa R.J I 
never said I would. But my mother has always 
wanted me to go to Vassar 

Tim. To Vassar? Oh, that's different 

Sally. Why is it? 

Jim. (Goes to sofa R.^ one knee on it) Because 
we live in Poughkeepsie. 

Tim. (Goes to them) And Vassar's in Pough- 
keepsie. 

Both Boys. Oh, Sally, do go to college. 

Tim. You'd see us steadily for four years then, 
Sally. 

Jim. And then, perhaps, you could make up your 
mind, which one of us you liked best. 

Sally. I don't see how I ever could, you're both 
so perfect. 

Tim and Jim. Sally — ■ — 

{"Madge whistles.) 
Sally. Somebody's coming. 

f Twins rush, pick up their bags, coats and hats.) 

Tim. (Going out) Come on, Jim. 

Jim. Good-bye, Sally (Good-bye — ad lib. 

Twins rush out door l.) 

fMiss Curtis enters door r.) 

Miss Curtis. (At telephone) Western Union, 
please. Please give me Western Union 



134 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

CGiKLS crowd around her to hear what she is do- 
ing. Enter Mr. JohnsJ 

Johns. Where's Bevans? 

Miss Curtis. Oh, Mr. Johns, we don't know. 

Johns. Teach girls charm — ^^teach 'em to be 
vagrants. 

Miss Curtis. ("£.0.2^ Oh, Mr. Johns, remem- 
ber the young ladies are present. 

Johns. Think parents pay you to lose their chil- 
dren for them ! This is the worst kind of a school. 
(Turns l. of p.b.^ 

('Girls ad lib. — confusion — go up toward c.) 

Miss Curtis. (Crossing to the GirlsJ You'd 
better go, my dears, you'd better go. 

(The Girls don't want to go, but she "gathers'^ 
them off door R.J 

CMiss Curtis goes r. of desk r.) 

Miss Curtis. (To c.) It will be all right, Mr. 
Johns. Mr. Bevans will find her. He always does 
whatever he undertakes to do. 

Johns. No, he does not. He undertook to take 
girls off their parents' hands — save 'em all trouble, 
and I have to come back from a business trip be- 
cause he loses my niece the first crack out of the 
box. (Crossing to sofa r.) I say this is the worst 
kind of a school 

Miss Curtis, (r, of desk r. — Screams) Oh, 
Mr. Johns. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 135 

f Miss Hays enters down the stairs r. and the words 
die away on his lips.) 

Miss Hays. (On stairs — to Johnsj I thought 
it was you. (To Miss Curtis. j You see, Theo- 
dosia, I recognized Mr. Johns' voice. (^Johns turns 
to her, then goes to piano, throws his cap on it — 
Miss Hays comes down r.c.J I should like to speak 
to Mr. Johns alone, if you don't mind. 

Miss Curtis. (Crossing f. to her R.j Call me, 
Eleanor, if you need me. 

CMiss Hays waves her away. Miss Curtis exits 

door L.) 

Johns. (To l. of Miss Hays; Well, Eleanor, 
this must be a pretty serious situation, if you are 
at last willing to speak a word to me. 

Miss Hays. fR. of c.) It is serious. Elise has 
done the most foolish thing a woman can do. She's 
taken a man seriously. 

Johns, (c.) Bless my soul, Eleanor. You 
haven't changed a bit! 

Miss Hays. Oh, yes, I have. I haven't taught 
school all these years and not learned something. 

Johns. I thought you knew all there was to 
know. 

Miss Hays. I knev/ everything about you. 
Homer. 

Johns. No, you didn't either. 

Miss Hays. Oh, was there more to know than 
came out in court? 

Johns. No, — ^yes — at least, but that isn't what 
I mean — — 

Miss Hays. You didn't come here to discuss our 
affairs. 

Johns. No, no. Of course not. 



136 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Miss Hays. Elise disappeared yesterday and 
Mr. Bevans started at once 

Johns. Why didn't you start? 

Miss Hays. I ? I couldn't leave the school with- 
out a responsible head. I have duties to other par- 
ents and guardians — (Crosses r. of desk r., gets her 
bag) — ^besides you, Homer. 

Johns. Now isn't that just like you? 

Miss Hays. What? 

Johns. You remembered your obligations to the 
other parents. But you never thought of me at all. 

Miss Hays. You mean, I should have thought 
only of you! 

Johns. Certainly. 

Miss Hays. You're just as egotistical as ever. 

Johns. Egotistical for a' man to want his wife to 
prefer him to anyone else. 

Miss Hays. I'm not your wife. 

Johns. But you are. 

Miss Hays. (Crosses — f. of p.b.) Oh, for such 
a short time, so very long ago. 

Johns. So long ago that you've forgotten all 
about it? 

Miss Hays. Oh, no. I have an excellent mem- 
ory — for trifles. 

Johns. You're the most irritating woman I ever 
knew. 

Miss Hays. (Goes to him) Homer, will you 
stop thinking about yourself, and consider the ter- 
rible situation Listen, Homer. 

Johns. Well? 

Miss Hays. Mr. Bevans found her and they left 
Bridgeport last night at nine o'clock in his motor. 

Johns, (r. of p.b.J Last night? You're afraid 
there's been a motor accident? 

Miss Hays. I'm afraid of something much more 
serious than that. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 137 

Johns. Why, nonsense, Eleanor! You let your 
hatred of men run away with your judgment. 
Bevans is a dependable young chap. 

Miss Hays. (f. of p.b. j No man is dependable 
where a pretty girl is concerned. 

Johns. Oh, you mustn't judge all men by me, 
Eleanor. 

Miss Hays. Elise has fallen terribly in love with 
him. 

Johns. She has? Good! The school is mine 
then. But what do you know about love, Eleanor? 
You never felt it. 

Miss Hays. Homer, can't you ever stick for five 
minutes to what you are discussing? (Starts toward 
door U.L.C. j 

Johns. Eleanor, you said that just as if you 
were married to me. 

Miss Hays. (Turns to him) Well, Tm very 
thankful Fm not. 

Johns. YouVe got nothing on me. 

Miss Hays. (Coming to r. of sofa l.) Then if 
we're both absolutely agreed, I don't see why we 
can't be civil to each other hereafter. 

Johns. We can. I don't believe you know how 
friendly I feel toward you. Why do you suppose I 
sent Elise here ? Why do you suppose I went chas- 
ing after that fellow Bevans — except to be sure that 
the school would come to you in the end 

Miss Hays. (Goes to l. of f.b.) To me? 

Johns. Certainly. . . . That's what you want, 
isn't it? 

Miss Hays. More than anything else in the 
world. It's always been my dream 

Johns. Is that the best you can do in the way of 
a dream ? 

Miss Hays. It's a wonderful dream, Homer, for 
a woman who has no children of her own, to take 



138 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

half a hundred of other people's children and teach 
them and train them and love them, and have them 
love you (Going to F. of desk l.) 

Johns. You*d like it, eh? Well, you certainly 
shall have it. 

Miss Hays. But how can you get rid of this boy ? 
(Turns to Johns.J Why, you can't. 

Johns. I can't ? I can't get rid of a young fellow 
in order to give you something you want? Of 
course, I can. 

f Miss Curtis enters l.) 

Miss Curtis. Oh, Eleanor, Eleanor, they're here. 
They've just driven up in the funniest old buggy. 
Oh, I knew Mr. Bevans would bring her back. (x. 
to R.j 

(Enter Austin, Elise and George, j 

Miss Hays. Elise — my child — where have you 
been? Mr. Bevans . . . 

Austin. I've been driving, Miss Hays, a — a slow 
horse thirty-five miles, and I can tell you it's no 
joke (Ad lib. Together.) 

Elise. Oh, Miss Hays, it was so wonderful driv- 
ing all night through the storm. I never knew any- 
thing so wonderful. (Ad lib.) 

George. Yes, you may as well ask where we've 
been. Austin wrecked his car with his reckless driv- 
ing. I ask you, is that any way to drive a car? 
(Ad lib.) 

Johns. Hold on, hold on. One at a time. 
Where have you been? (They all start to speak to- 
gether again.) Wait, wait. Bevans, where have 
you been? 

Austin. My car broke down outside Bridgeport, 
Mr. Johns, and I've been driving a horse back. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 139 

Elise. Yes, Mr. Bevans wouldn't stop anywhere 
though we passed some of the lovehest hotels. (Sits 
bench c.) 

Miss Hays. Elise! Were you with them in 
Bridgeport, Mr. Boyd? 

George. Bridgeport — I never got to Bridgeport. 
They picked me up at the gate. 

Miss Hays. At the gate ! 

George. Yes, I was walking home. — I never got 
to Bridgeport. 

Miss Hays. I understood you were going to 
Bridgeport. 

George. I was. When I left here I took a taxi, 
and finding I'd missed the train, I told the man to 
drive to Portchester, so that I could catch an ex- 
press. It happened that I had only six dollars and 
eighty- four cents, and I sat there and watched that 
darned — I beg your pardon — that meter go up to 
five dollars and six dollars and when it got to six- 
fifty I was still a mJle from Portchester. Well, I 
let him go on thinking I could make him accept 
what I had, but when I got out at Portchester and 
gave him all I had, he turned out to be one of these 
disagreeable people who won't listen to reason. 

Johns. You mean he wanted you to pay what 
you owed. 

George. Yes, he wouldn't compromise and when 
I said his meter was wrong — that was a mistake, he 
had me arrested. 

Johns. Arrested! 

George. Just as the train pulled into the station 
and I spent the whole night in jail. 

Johns, How did you get out? 

George. Oh, the judge dismissed the case at 
once — said the driver hadn't exercised ordinary pre- 
caution in picking up such a fare. 



I40 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Johns. There, young lady — see all the trouble 
you made. Why did you want to go careering — 
('Elise and Miss Hays x. to sofa l.) — over the 
countryside, anyhow ? (^George exits l.) 

Austin. (Crosses to l. of Johns J Please don't 
shout at Elise, Mr. Johns. 

Johns, (r.c.) What's that? 

Austin. Please don't shout. • 

Johns. What's that? 

Austin. Please don't shout. 

Johns. Well, I will shout. 

Austin. Then shout, then. Elise has been under 
a great strain, and it's not good for her to be 
shouted at. 

Elise. No, uncle, he's perfectly right. 

Johns. You think that because you've run a 
school for a few weeks you know more about girls 
than I do? 

Austin. I know I know more about girls than 
you do. 

Elise. Why, uncle, he certainly does. 

Johns. Well, let me tell you, sir, that I'm in a 
position to make you or break you, and the first thing 
you know I'll break you. Is that clear? 

Austin. Perfectly clear, Mr. Johns. And if I 
could put my mind on it, I dare say I should be 
sorry, but as it is, it doesn't seem to matter because 
I have so many other things to think about. 

Johns. I suppose you mean the fact that you've 
lost your school? 

Austin. Lost my school? 

Johns. Certainly. Didn't I make the condition 
that none of your pupils should fall in — love with 
you^ 



Austin. Yes, you did, but 

Johns. Well, one of your pupils has made a fool 
of herself over you, hasn't she? 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 141 

Austin. Yes, but^ 

Elise. Oh, Mr. Bevans. 

Johns. I've decided to foreclose — take over the 
school — put Miss Hays in charge. This is the future 
principal of the Fairview School. 

Austin. You have no right to do this. 

Johns. No right? 

Austin. Oh, legally you may have the right and 
power, too, but morally, you haven't. This school 
came to me and I put everything I had into it — 
time, energy, thought, all my money—- — 

Johns. Eh? 

Austin. Well, your money. And IVe made it 
go, I've made it succeed, and it^s mine. No one 
ought to have the right to take it from me. 

Johns. Look here, young man. I want this 
school, but ril make you a proposition ! I'll give you 
ten thousand down for your interest. I'll acknowl- 
edge that your ideas have been a howling success. 
I'll guarantee to put them — most of them in effect, 
and I'll give you a new job. 

Austin. No, I don't want your job. I want to 
go on with my school. 

Johns. Well, you can't do that, 

Austin. Then keep your old job, and I'll go 
back to selling automobiles. (Exit.) 

(Miss Curtis enters r. j 

Johns. There's a very pigheaded young man. 

f Elise starts to follow Austin — Johns catches her 
hand. Circles around post, lands r.c.J 

Elise. Uncle, dear, Mr. Bevans did not mean ex- 
actly to refuse that job. 



142 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Johns. He didn't, didn't he? Well, it sounded 
like it. 

Elise. I think you'll find he changes his mind. 

Johns. What do you know about it? 

Eltse. You'll keep it open for him a little while, 
won't you ? 

Johns. fR.c.j Well, I might a reasonable length 
of time. 

fMiss Curtis goes down r. to f. of desk.) 

Elise. ("r. of JohnsJ Oh, uncle, you are a 
darling old lamb. (Kisses him.) 

Johns. No one ever called me that before. 
("Elise goes to e. of v.) Oh, Miss Hays, before I 
go may I have a word with you in private — about 
the general policy of the school ? 

Miss Hays. (Crossing — door r. j Certainly, Mr. 
Johns. Will you come to my office ? As my man of 
business I have the greatest admiration for your 
organizing powers 

Johns. Well, that's something! (Exit Miss 
Hays r.J 

Miss Curtis. (As Johns follozvs Miss Hays) 
One moment, Mr. Johns. (Comes to f. of sofa R. 
Johns on her l. j release forgive me, but isn't Mr. 
Bevans the head of this school any more? 

Johns. No, Miss Curtis, Miss Hays is in charge 
now. 

Miss Curtis. You mean, he won't be here any 
more? 

Johns. Never should have been here at all. 
(Exit Johns r.) 

(Enter Austin l.) 

Austin, (l. of u. end of p.b.) Miss Curtis, if 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 1.43 

I may trouble you for the last time, will you tell 
Mr. MacKenzie. 

Miss Curtis. Oh, Mr. Bevans, I'm so sorry to 
hear that we are to lose you. 

Austin. Thank you, Miss Curtis. Tm glad 
some one is sorry. 

Miss Curtis. I — we shall miss you. 

x\usTiN. And I shall miss you. I shall never 
forget your loyalty and devotion. 

Miss Curtis. And I shall never forget you, Mr. 
Bevans. (Starts toward door.) 

Elise. (On the first step of the stairs) Don't 
worry. Miss Curtis, I know just how you feel. 

Miss Cujrtis. (At door r.) No, you don't, my 
dear, nobody could. Good-bye, Mr. Bevans. (Ex- 
its door R., hardly able to keep hack the tears. Aus- 
tin turns to go L.) 

("George enters door l. — x. to Elise r.c.—Austin 
goes up L.c, gets coat.) 

George. Elise, I don't exactly understand what 
they meant about one of the pupils having fallen in 
love with him — they didn't mean you, did they? 

Elise. * Dear George. 

George. You ran away to avoid his attentions, 
didn't you ? 

Elise. Just the other way, George. 

George. But Elise, I loved you first. 

Elise. It wouldn't have mattered if you had 
loved me a thousand years. 

George. Oh, It's all right, Elise; it isn't 

your fault — I know now why Austin wanted to 
teach girls charm — it's the greatest thing in the 
world — ^you can do anything, if you have it — and I 
didn't have it — ^and I guess I never will. Good- 
bye, Elise. 



144 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

Elise. Good-bye, George dear. (She shotvs a 
strong inclination to kiss him good-bye, but he real- 
ises and goes to above sofa l. Elise goes to piano.) 

George. (7. of post l.c J Oh, Austin, have yon 
got any money ? 

Austin. (Above desk L.j Ten be enough? 

George. Plenty. The rent's paid till the autumn. 

Austin. Get things started, George, I'll be back 
in a few days myself. 

('George exits door u.l.c. Austin crossing toward 

door R.^ 

Elise. May I speak to you, Mr. Bevans ? 

Austin. No — no^ : You may never speak to 

me. 

Elise. Oh, Mr. Bevans, you v/eren't so cross to 
me Vi^hen we stopped for breakfast this morning, 
and you said that wonderful thing 

Austin. I don't remember the incident. 

Elise. You said, "Aren't you hungry, dear?" 

Austin. It was a slip of the tongue. 

Elise. But you said it as if you meant^it. 

Austin. I did mean part of it. I was hungry 
myself. 

Elise. And didn't you rather like it when I 
poured out your coffee for you ? 

Austin. I was glad to get the coffee. (He starts 
to go.) 

Elise. Oh, where are j^ou going? 

Austin. Having lost this school, thanks to you, 
I'm going to New York to gtt back my old job. 

Elise. Oh, you needn't bother about that. 

Austin. I needn't bother about that? 

Elise. No, uncle is keeping that job for you. 

Austin. I told him I didn't want it. 

Elise. Yes, but I fixed it. 



THE CHARM SCHOOL 145 

Austin. You fixed it? 

Elise. Yes, I told him you'd change your mind. 

Austin. (Loudly, throws hat on sofa l. with 
coat) How did you know Td change my mind ? 

Elise. Oh, you just told my uncle I wasn't to be 
shouted at— — 

Austin. You're the sort of girl ought to be 
shouted at ! You're the sort of girl ought to be sent 
to a nunnery, not a boarding-school. Look what 
you've done in the last twenty-four hours. You've 
made me quarrel with one of my oldest friends. 
You've taken me away from my v/ork, and you've 
ruined my school. You're the most silly, reckless, 
obstinate girl I ever knev/ — but you have got charm. 
(He catches her in his arms and kisses her.) 



CURTAIN 



1st Picture: They are still in each other's arms. 
2nd Picture: They come down the stairs one on 
each step ; they lean far over the bannister to see. 



CURTAIN 



146 THE CHARM SCHOOL 

This play can be played in its present form with 
one less male character and two or more less female 
characters : i.e. 

Note: Jim and Tim speak most of their lines in 
unison, the few separate lines which each has, 
have been combined in another part so that they 
can be played as one part. 

The school girls are there largely for local 
color. If it is desired to cut the number down, 
Dotsy and Madge can be eliminated entirely by 
the Madge lines given to one of the other girls. 

The buggy scene was inserted after the piece had 
been played several weeks, and the entire scene, if 
advisable, can be cut out without any change in the 
dialogue of the succeeding scene. The only difficulty 
with the buggy scene would be the arrangement of 
the lights; but, if that could be overcome, it would 
be advisable to keep this scene in, because of its un- 
usual quality and the charm of the dialogue, which 
constitutes a very good love scene. 

Changes in lines and cues when the parts of Jim 
and Tim are played as one. 



ACT I 

All characters use "J^^" ^" place of "Tim." 

All characters use "Jim" in place of "Twins." 

David — Page 3 — Cut — and Tim. 

Austin — Page 1 1 — Cut — I guess it would take two 
of you to do it. Use — Well, I guess you'll have to 
keep on v/anting. (Go into speech.) 

Johns — Page 27 — Cut — Poughkeepsie — The Smith 
Brothers without the beards. 



DOROTHY'S NEIGHBORS. 

A hrsnd new comedy in four acts, by Marie Doran, atithor of "The 
New Co-Ed," "Tempest and Sunshine," and many other successful 
plays. 4 males, 7 females. The scenes are extremely easy to 
arrange; two plain interiors and one exterior, a garden, or, if neces- 
sary, the two interiors will answer. Costumes modem. Plays 2J4 
hours. 

The story is about vocational training, a subject now widely dis- 
cussed; also, the distribution of large wealth. 

Back of the comedy situation and snappy dialogue there is good 
logic and a sound moral in this pretty play, which is worthy the 
attention of the experienced amateur. It is a clean, wholesome play, 
particularly suited to high Bchool production, Frice, 30 Cents. 



MISS SOMEBODY ELSE. 

A modern play in four acts by Marion Short, author of "The 
Touchdown," etc. 6 males, 10 females. Two interior scenes. Cos- 
tumes modern. Plays 2]^ hours. 

This delightful comedy has gripping dramatic moments, unusual 
character types, a striking and original plot and is essentially modem 
in theme and treatment. The story concerns the advetures of Con- 
stance Darcy, a multi-millionaire's young daughter. Constance em- 
barks on a trip to find a young man who had been in her father's 
employ and had stolen a large sum of money. She almost succeeds, 
when suddenly all traces of the young man are lost. At this point 
she meets some old friends who are living in almost want and, in 
order to assist them through motives benevolent, she determines to 
sink her own aristocratic personality in that of a refined but humble 
little Irish waitress with the family that are in want. She not only 
carries her scheme to success in assisting the family, but finds 
romance and much tense and lively adventure during the period of 
her incognito, aside from capturing the young man v/ho had defrauded 
her father. The story is full of bright comedy lines and dramatio 
situations and is highly recommended for amateur production. This 
is one of the best comedies we have ever offered with a large num- 
ber of female characters. The dialogue is bright and the play is full 
of action from start to finish; not a dull moment in it. This is a 
great comedy for high schools and colleges, and the wholesome story 
will please the parents and teachers. We strongly recommend it. 

Price, 30 Cents* 



PURPLE AND FINE LINEN. 

An exceptionally pretty comedy of Puritan Ne-,v England, in three 
acts, by Amita B. Fairgrieve and Helena Miller. 9 male, 5 female 
characters. 

This is the Lend A Hand Smith College prize play. It is an ad- 
mirable play for amateurs, is rich in character portrayal of varied 
types and is not too difficult while thoroughly pleasing. 

Price, 30 Cents. 



(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 

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SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West SBth Street, New York City 

Ntw ni ^lieit Pisorijitivs Cataisgus mM fm on Rt<(BMt 



The Return of Hi Jinks 

A comedy in four acts, by Marion Short, author of "The Varsity 
Coach," "The Touch-Dwvn," etc. 6 males, 8 females. Costumes 
modern. One interior soeiie. 

This comedy is founded upon and elaborated from a farce comedy 
in two acts written by J. H. Horta, and originally produced at Tuft's 
College. 

Hiram Poynter Jinks, a Junior in Hoosic College (Willie Collier 
type), and a young moving picture actress (Mary Pickford type), are 
the leading cliaracters in this lively, modern farce. 

Thomas Hodge, a Senior, envious of the popularity of Jinks, wishes 
to think up a scheme to throw ridiciile upon him during a visit of 
the Hoosic Glee Club to Jinks's home town. Jinks has obligingly acted 
as a cne-day substitute in a moving picture play, in which there is a 
fire scene, and this gives Hodge his cue. He sends what seems to 
be a bona fide account of Jink's heroism at a Hoosic fire to Jink's 
home paper. Instead of repudiating his laurels as expected, Jinks 
decides to take a flyer in fame, confirms the fake story, confesses t^ 
being a hero and is adoredJ by all the girls, to the chagrin a^ff* dis- 
comfiture of Hodge. Of course, the truth comes out at last, but 
Jinks is not hurt thereby, and his romance with Mimi Mayflower 
comes to a successful termination. 

This is a great comedy for amateurs. It is full ef funny situations 
and is sure to please. Price, 30 Cents. 



June 



A most successful comedy-drama in four acts, by Marie Doran, 
author of "The New Co-Ed," "Tempest and Sunshine," "Dorothy's 
Neighbors," etc. 4 males, 8 females. One interior scene. Costumes 
modem. Plays 2^4 hours. 

This play has a very interesting group of young people. June is 
an appealing little figure, an orphan living v/itli her aunt. There are 
a number of delightful, life-like characters: the sorely tried likeable 
Mrs. Hopkins, the amusing, haughty Miss Banks of the glove depart- 
ment, the lively Tilly and Milly, who work in the store, and ambitious 
Snoozer: Mrs. Hopkins's only son, who aspires to be President of the 
United States, but finds his real sphere is running the local trolley 
car. The play is simplicity itself in the telling of an every-day story, 
and the scenic requirem.ents call for only one set, a room in the 
boarding house of Mrs. Hopkins, while an opportunity is afforded to 
introduce any number of extra characters. Musical numbers may be 
introduced, if desired. Price, 30 Cents, 

Tempest and Sunshine 

A comedy drama in four acts, by Marie Doran. 5 males and 3 
females. One exterior and three interior scenes. Plays about 2 hours. 

Every school girl has revelled in the sweet simplicity and gentle- 
ness of the characters interwoven in the charms that Mary J. Holmes 
command.^ in her story of "Tempest and Sunshine." We can strongly 
recommend this play as one of the best plays for high school pro- 
duction publishad in recent years. Pricej 30 Centa. 

(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 



SAMUEL FRENCMt 28-30 West 38th Street. New York City 

Nnv and ExptreK descriptive Catalosiie Mailed Free on Rei)ii6st 



i\ u •*' ^ 



THE REJUVENATION OF AUNT MARY. 

The famous comedy in three acts, by Anne Warner. 7 males, 6 
females. Three interior scenes. Costumes modern. Plays 2J4 hours. 

This is a genuinely funny comedy with splendid parts for "Aunt 
Mary," "Jack," her lively nephew; "Lucinda," a New England an- 
cient maid of all work; "Jack's" three chums; the Girl "Jack" loves; 
"Joshua," Aunt Mary's hired man, etc. 

"Aunt Mary" was played by May Robaon in New York and on tour 
for over two years, and it is sure to be a big success wherever pro- 
duced- Wc Strongly recommend it. Price, 60 Cents. 



MRS. BUMSTEAD-LEIGH. 

A pleasing: comedy, in three acts, by Harry James Smith, author of 
"The Tailor-Made Man." 6 males, 6" females. One interior scene. 
Costumes modern. Plays 2ji hours. 

Mr. Smith chose for his initial comedy the complications aristngr 
from the endeavors of a social climber to land herself in the altitude 
peopled by hyphenated names — a theme permitting innumerable com- 
plications, according to the spirit of the writer. 

This most successful comedy was toured for several seasons by Mrs. 
Fiske with enormous success. Price, 60 Cents. 



MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 

A most successful farce in three acts, by Frank Wyatt and Wil- 
liam Morris. 5 males, 4 females. One interior scene stands through- 
out the three acts. Costumes modern. Plays 2J4 hours. 

"Mrs. Temple's Telegram" is a sprightly farce in which there i» 
an abundance of fun without any taint of impropriety or any ele- 
ment of offence. As noticed by Sir Walter Scott, "Oh, what a 
tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." 

There is not a dull moment in the entire farce, and from the time 
the curtain rises until it makes the final drop the fun is fast and 
furious. A very exceptional farce. Price, 60 Cents. 



THE NEW CO-ED. 

A comedy ia four acts, by Marie Doran, author of "Tempest and 
Sunshine," etc. Characters, 4 males, 7 females, though any number 
of boys and girls can be introduced in the action of the play. One 
interior and one exterior scene, but can be easily played in one inte- 
rior scene. Costumes modern. Time, about 2 hours. 

The theme of this play is the coming of a new student to the col- 
lege, her reception by the scholars, her trials and final triumph. 

There are three especially good girls' parts, Letty, Madge and 
Estelle,. but the others have plenty to do. "Punch" Doolittle and 
George Washington Watts, a gentleman of color, are two particularly 
good comedy characters. We can strongly recommend "The New 
Co-Ed" to high schools and amateurs. Price, 30 Cents. 

(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 
SAMUBL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th Streot, New York City 

New and Explicit Descfiprivs Catalogue Maiisd Fraa oi RaoflBat 



'■\-!-'''\^^^^^^^ 




FRENCH'S 
Standard Library Edition 



Clyde Fitch 

William Gillette 

Augustus Thomas 

George Broadhurst 

Edward E. Kidder 

Percy MacKaye 

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 

Louis N. Parker 

R. C. Carton 

Alfred Sutro 

Richard Harding Davis 

Sir Arthur W. Pinero 

Anthony Hope 

Oscar Wilde 

Haddon Chambers 

Jerome K. Jerome 

Cosmo Gordon Lennox 

H. V. Esmond 

Mark Swan 

Grace L. Furniss 

Marguerite Merrington 

Hermann Sudermann 

Rida Johnson Young 

Arthur ' Law 

Rachel Crothers 

Martha Morton 

H. A. Du Souchet 

W. W. Jacobs 

Madeleine Lucette Ryley 



Includes Pla3rs by 

Booth Tarkington 
J. Hartley Manners 
James Forbes 
James Montgomery 
Wm. C. de Mille 
Roi Cooper Megrue 
Edward E. Rose 
Israel Zangwill 
Henry Bernstein 
Harold Brighouse 
Channing Pollock 
Harry Durant 
Winchell Smith 
Margaret Mayo 
Edward Peple 
A. E. W. Mason 
Charles Klein 
Henry Arthur Jones 
A. E. Thomas 
Fred. Ballard 
Cyril Harcourt 
Carlisle Moore 
Ernest Denny 
Laurence Housman 
Harry James Smith 
Edgar Selwyn 
Augustin McHugh 
Robert Housum 
Charles Kenyon 
C. M. S. McLellan 



French's International Copyrighted Edition con- 
tains plays, comedies and farces of international 
reputation; also recent professional successes by 
famous American and English Authors. 
Send a four-cent stamp for our new catalogue 
describing thousands of plays. 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

Oldest Play Publisher in the World 
28-30 West 38th Street, NEW YORK CITY 



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